To think this boss is being really selfish

[Bookworm20]

Basically my good friend was on the phone to me yesterday really worried and getting quite upset about a works xmas party she is going to tonight. She doesn't want to go.

Its a big dinner, dance type thing and is paid in full by the company she works for. But given the time and state of things of at the moment she really does not want to go because she has relatives visiting over xmas and is worried that if she gets covid it will affect not only her xmas plans but those of the relatives she has visiting, as she'd have to cancel them obviously. Two are quite elderly.

BUT, she mentioned to a couple of colleagues about not going and they have said that if anyone pulls out the boss won't be happy at all because he has paid for it all already and so she feels under huge pressure to still go. Its also a party where partners were not invited, and so she didn't really want to go in the first place as doesn't know people that well (shes been there 3 months and wfh 90% of the time) but felt she had to to show team spirit sort of thing. She then had a call yesterday from the boss basically saying he hoped she wasn't going to not show up, as it was important to build relationships within the team especially as everyone has been mostly working from home.

I advised her not to go anyway, but then I don't have to face the consequences at work afterwards with a shitty boss and probably angry work colleagues who perhaps also didn't want to go but went anyway because they felt pressured to.

AIBU to think that some bosses are being really selfish? Surely given the current pandemic and it being so close to christmas, there should be absolutely no pressure on employees to attend a works party, even if it has been paid in full and not refundable?

I know she just needs to stand up and say shes not going, but it isn't that easy when you feel under pressure to go and also she is relatively new there so still trying to fit in properly.

I feel quite angry on her behalf. I think her boss is being really shitty. My boss was the exact opposite. We cancelled our xmas party because he asked who was comfortable going and who wasn't and because we were not all agreed to go ahead it is being rearranged as a sometime in the new year party so everyone can attend.

Hmm .. we had our Xmas Party last week - 20 of us, and 8 have since tested positive .... they're not joking when they say this variant spreads fast!
She should regretfully decline to come as she does not feel able to put her family at risk.
BTW all 8 positives are OK - pre-COVID they'd have just thought they had the winter sniffles ...

I'd just say I had symptoms and needed a PCR...that way shes not allowed to go anyway!

Depending on how big it is, can she just be a no show and hope they don't notice.

She should have acted like she couldn't wait to go, and then had last minute symptoms.

I guess she could still have last minute symptoms and have to order a PCR that doesn't come back in time?

"I've just had a positive Covid test and have to self isolate."

They would notice if shes not there. Its a dinner dance thing, but there are I think about 15 of them from her company, and other tables are other companies as far as I can tell. So yes she'd be noticeably missed.

I think she regretting asking a colleague about not going. In hind sight, she should have looked eager and then got symptoms on the day. It would look pretty suspicious if she did that today after the phone call yesterday I guess.
Having said that, what can they do? Except call her a liar I guess.

I do think it's shitty to put pressure on staff to attend something when they don't feel comfortable doing so. I understand the importance of building team connection, but I don't believe that this kind of forced "fun" helps to build team spirit at all. Quite the contrary, actually.

If you run the kind of team where staff don't voluntarily want to attend stuff like this, then there's probably an issue with your management tbh.