Bah Humbug.

[Redheadedbookworm]

I’m feeling a little bit rubbish and lonely.
And Christmas is the absolute worst!

I moved to this country ten years ago.
I moved here for my ex. But he abandoned us for the other woman A few years ago.
He got to keep our mutual friends in the break up (they were his from before I moved here but I think perhaps maybe he was gaslighting me as I’ve been stoned walled by pretty much anyone I’ve said hello or even reached out too)
And I got to keep the kids. In this way, he has had the freedom to live a very full social life. But by me doing the lion share of parenting it means that I don’t have any free time to get out there and see any friends or date.
Speaking of friends: I’m incredibly shy. I have just a few ex or current work colleague and a few mum friends. But it’s a small net work of other busy women who have jobs/families and so it’s rare that we find time to catch up.

I’m so incredibly lonely
And frustrated.
And sad.
And grumpy.

I really hate Christmas as I know from lunch time, I’ll be on my lonesome until the 27th.

I know I can’t be the only one in this situation. How do other single mums cope?
Who else is over everybody else being Merry and Jolly?

I’m turning into a Ms Scrooge. Please help make me feel less blah about Christmas.

Are the kids very keen to see their dad on Christmas Day or would they be happy with Boxing Day?

@shouldistop

Are the kids very keen to see their dad on Christmas Day or would they be happy with Boxing Day?

They love doing lunch with his parents and then seeing their dad Xmas late afternoon /night. So I wouldn’t try to change it though i feel very bitter about it

Ah, fair enough.

If I was alone for a couple of days I'd get through a list of housework, sleep and watch films. Could you do something like that and just forget it's Christmas?

Have your bigger celebration with the kids on Christmas Eve?

That’s a good idea so I will do. Though it doesn’t stop the grumps.

I know I usually find going for a swim or doing some yoga helps my mood. Is either / both an option?

I feel for you, but one thing I spotted in your op was that you say it's not fair that your ex has freedom and you don't so you can't see friends etc, and then say you'll be lonely when you have a few days to yourself. Isn't a few days to yourself exactly what you want?
For me, I love it, I get one day a week to myself- I swim, have a sauna, walk with friends, go out, watch a grown up film in the afternoon. Just massively enjoy the peace.
Reframe it - you're not lonely, it's peaceful.