To think I am crap at my new job!!

[Miffz]

Sorry might be a bit of a long one…!
I’ve been in my new job (same company and same people I was working for previously) for about 6 weeks now. I just can’t help but feel I am just a massive massive let down. I know my boss as I was doing some PA work for her before I got this job; this is much more ‘front facing’ involves working directly with clients and participating in large meetings- something I had never done before. I do generally lack confidence anyway, but the new role is so much more responsible and involved than my previous role and I feel that my bosses opinion of me has changed. I used to hear from her by email daily, now I only ever hear once or twice a week, she takes forever to respond to my emails and I feel that she gives me ‘what the fuck is she on about’ looks in meetings. I know how crazy this sounds but I really really wanted this job but just feel like I’m a massive disappointment. For info I had really good feedback the first week or 2 and then it’s just tailed off, training has been really crap which I have raised as a concern but have still kind of been left to it 🤷‍♀️ I don’t want to complain too much as I really want this job, the money is so much better than what I was on and I feel I can probably do the job once I’m used to it, but I just feel like a total let down. I’ve googled imposter syndrome and I’m not sure this is it.

Anyway if you’ve got this far in my crazy rambling thanks (and apologies!). Any advice?

Your boss sounds undermining; if the training is crap, her feedback is non existant, and she is pulling faces in meetings, thats 3 issues I'd want to address. No wonder your confidence has been sapped!

All you can do is your best. And if that isn't good enough, perhaps it's not the right fit. However, just six weeks in, you should in no way be expected to have mastered everything. Generally it can take 6 months to a year to really feel competent and comfortable in a new role.

If you still feel like you're hopelessly floundering at the 3 month point ask for a meeting with your boss and voice your concerns. Chances are the things bothering you, have little to actually do with you. I have found through my own experience that reading too much into other people's moods and actions can be the kiss of death at work. Just focus on learning the job and don't take everything personally.

I would expect a PA to have daily contact with their boss, I wouldn't necessarily expect it for other roles. Given the feedback you have received has been positive, u think you are being a bit unfair to your boss

I think you’re reading too much into it.

I manage a team and I don’t have time to check in with everyone daily…. probably every 2 weeks unless they need something from me off course.

Also I often don’t respond straight away due to back to back meetings.

If I was you I would ask for a regular catch up with your manager to discuss your concerns.

I'm in a similar situation but my role is just a temporary cover. I had to apply and be interviewed for the job and I sold myself as that confident, quick-learning person that I later found out wasn't quite the case. I found the role overwhelming, the amount of knowledge I had to absorb staggering and had no confidence whatsoever in participating, let alone leading, large meetings with important people.
But - I'm 3 months down the line and slowly getting there. Learning the ropes, getting to know the people we usually interact with, I even part-led a meeting, which 2 months ago would reduce me to a quivering rabbit in the headlights.
My advice - give it time. Be honest with your boss, say where you think you need some guidance, training and perhaps shadowing. You're fresh in this job and you have every right to find it slightly different to what you had been expecting.
This is the time to raise your concerns - if you leave it too long, you'll undermine your own confidence even more. Speak to your boss and say - these are the things that I feel confident with, these are the things I think I need more training in, perhaps shadowing some more experienced people. Have some solutions ready, depending on what's available in your organisation - courses, training, etc.
If you make your boss aware of where you are now, they'll appreciate your gradual development in the role as you gain more confidence and experience.