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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to fight for this CAFCASS officer or would it reflect badly on me?

3 replies

justamumseekingadvice · 15/12/2021 16:28

So I am currently going through a court case because there is safeguarding concerns regarding my daughter’s dad - mainly to do with alcohol abuse and prescription drugs etc, but also been a couple of incidents he has been too forceful with her and left marks.

We have dealt with CAFCASS before - one of them thought the sun shone out of his backside and I completely gave up with the court system and it’s failings and withdrew my application. Another CAFCASS officer got in touch with me about why I withdrew my application and she was FANTASTIC - she gave me the courage to go back to court and fight for the life that my daughter deserves, and she said if I did decide to go back to court she would request to have my case again - she is doing degrees and qualifications in parents with substance abuse issues and the effects on children etc.

So I was finally brave enough - made an application again and stuck with it and it’s listed to be heard next year.

Got my CAFCASS officer through and it was the first one I had… the one who would happily give him unsupervised contact even though it’s not safe and thought he was a wonderful father…

I immediately rang and asked for the other officer based on the fact she requested my case to be told that she is unable to take it on because she is on leave and wouldn’t get the report done it time - that it would be delayed by 3/4 weeks or so…

I just cannot leave it at that. This is going to be one of the most important decisions in my child’s life and I have no confidence in the officer that I’ve been given to make the right recommendations or protect my daughter, and my daughter’s safety and happiness is at stake if this goes horrible wrong (which is why I’ve always been too scared and never able to follow through with the court applications I have made previously).

I could write to the court, explain my reasoning for wanting this particular officer (obviously without throwing shade on the one I’ve currently got) and ask them for a 3 week grace period to allow the previous officer to take back on my case based on the fact she understands our situation and has experience of dealing with us, and that she was very protective of my daughter and this really shone through before.

Should I do this or will it be a red flag for favouritism etc?

Seriously the only thing that has got me through this process so far is knowing that she would ask to take on my case and now I’m in a right state wanting to withdraw my application again and not go through with it because I can already see exactly how CAFCASS is going to spin this and I’ve already heard too many horror stories!

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/12/2021 16:32

Yes I would request the fantastic one. She’s got additional expertise in the area. Another few weeks won’t make any difference.

justamumseekingadvice · 15/12/2021 16:37

Honestly she was amazing - she was the first person who gave me any hope of being able to give my daughter a different life than what she has suffered all these years - and I honestly think I might not even have the strength to get through these court proceedings without her fighting my daughter’s corner!

OP posts:
Duxiejhrhrvjz · 15/12/2021 16:45

The right Cafcass worker really changes how the court process goes. I would find a way to get the one you want and need!
How long did you have the other Cafcass worker for though?
I had one man at the first hearing. He understood and suggested no contact until background checks etc come back.
Another lady takes over and phones me and says that she doesn’t understand that decision and thinks I should let him see the children. She doesn’t think she would have made the same decision etc. I was so scared and upset.
After months of dealing with him her last report said he was difficult and impossible to talk to and work with and that she couldn’t recommend any contact based on how he behaves.
Most people see through bad people eventually.

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