To think some people don't prioritise sleep enough?

[Hadtocomment]

Reading the other thread where various posters seemed to be getting somewhat competitive about how early they get up etc. I was genuinely curious as to if people getting up seriously early also go to bed really early. We know sleep is important to health and people maybe need different amounts too. I was also taken aback by judgemental comments implying that the op should look at her diet and exercise if she was needing so much sleep as though enjoying sleep was some sort of health problem! So I just wondered. How much sleep do you need/get? And those getting up super early are you going to bed super early too to get enough hours or do you naturally not need much sleep?

myself I reckon I need around 8 and a half to 9 hrs to feel optimum and I've always been like this. I can manage on a bit less for some days but catches up with me and have to make it up at some point.

(I understand those with small children may be getting a lot less sleep for a while or broken up sleep and don't want this thread to be ignorant towards those struggling with sleep as I know that can be really tough. )

My DH rarely gets in from work before about 8.30, at this time of year it might be 9.30pm. If we want to eat together (I don't always because I can't wait that long!) and have a chat/watch some TV, it can easily be 11 before we think about going to bed.

@thepeopleversuswork I didn't mean to preach at all. I know a lot of people who can't get enough sleep and it is a real problem for them. It was the preaching on another thread that made me think people are odd about sleep though. A woman was letting her dh do the schoolrun to get more sleep and then she was doing all the childcare late in the day and him in the morning. And there were loads of judgemental remarks including how she should wake herself up even if it was just to wave goodbye rather than get more sleep. On the same thread people seemed to approve of those getting up at the crack of dawn for exercise though. I suppose I thought I'd rather my parent was well rested and cheerful and seeing me with proper energy than got less sleep just to make a gesture. But mainly I thought considering a lot of women struggle with sleep after kids I wondered why people approved of exercise but not of making sure someone gets enough sleep. I think there is an odd puritan feel to it like things that are full of effort are good no matter what. Things that might be healthful but not active like sleep are not put on the same level. That's all. I totally recognise that some people struggle but if as a society we do prioritise sleep more it might also be better. Shiftworkers have a particularly hard time I know that.

And I have to add I don't think sleep is a luxury. As a society we are known to work longer hours but are less productive than some other countries. We have come to take for granted massive commutes and very long hours. The pandemic has led to changes and challenges to the way work is set up for many. Perhaps this is another aspect that needs considering. Those working and commuting such long days as many are describing here with little time to relax let alone get enough sleep have no choice but that's because the UK is set up in that way with an emphasis on very long hours and long commutes etc.

@Hadtocomment

I agree in principle: lack of sleep is a huge issue for parents -- particularly mothers.

But I have known people be unbelievably precious about sleep as well in a way which impacts others: I have a friend who is absolutely insistent that she "can't function" without nine hours sleep and she will leave social gatherings at about 8pm all the time because she says she'll have a meltdown if she isn't in bed by 9.30pm etc. I almost never get to bed before 11.30pm and am always up by 6am and yes its not ideal but I'm fine on it. I do think sometimes people fetishise it a bit.

I'm terrible for not sleeping enough.
I function well on around 6 hours though, I can do a good heavy lifting session in the gym on that much. I feel groggy all day if I sleep longer nowadays, pre-kids I could sleep most of the day away.

I read the other day that because of the amount of studying that’s expected of them, it’s ‘normal’ for S Korean teens to expect only 4-5 hours sleep a night. 😱

Sleep is not essential?!!!?

I would not be able to do the job I do on less sleep than I get now ie at least 8 hours.

I did it on less when the kids were younger and felt like shit a lot of the time and struggled to function.

But that's me, I need a decent amount of sleep. Others don't.

@mizu

Sleep is not essential?!!!?

I would not be able to do the job I do on less sleep than I get now ie at least 8 hours.

I did it on less when the kids were younger and felt like shit a lot of the time and struggled to function.

But that's me, I need a decent amount of sleep. Others don't.

I need a decent amount of sleep, I just don’t get it. I have to function, as I can’t just not function when I have 3 children and a full time job.

When I get 8 hours unbroken sleep I feel positively dangerous! As it is, I usually get between 6-7 hours and it’s enough.

My ideal day has a nap firmly in the middle after lunch time. I'm in bed by 9 (asleep by 10/10.30) and up at 7.
I need lots of sleep to function and I also go to the gym 4 times a week and eat a balanced diet.

I go to bed at 11.30 and get up at 6.30. I need more sleep but there aren't enough hours in the day.

I need around 8-10 hours. I’m in my mid 20s. Unfortunately I’ve always been a night owl and struggled to sleep before 1am. Most nights I can’t get myself off my phone until 2am. Obviously I need to be up in the morning to work and to get ds to nursery. I’d say I get around 5 hours on average. On the rare occasion my ds is with his grandparents I tend to binge sleep for 12 hours.

I go to bed around 11pm and wake up between 7-7.30 on weekdays. I'm in bed now and tired but I work outdoors and walk 5-6 hours a day for a living so I'm allowed to be tired

I love sleep! Sadly my children don't feel the same way, waking in the night and up at around 6. I go to bed at 10 but always end up reading for ages then cursing myself. I probably average about 6 hours of broken sleep at night. Pretty sure it shows on my face and I can't remember not feeling tired!

Before kids I would get at least 8 hours and lived an afternoon nap at the weekends! Even with the best intentions, I could never get up before it was absolutely necessary!

Love this thread!
@Marianne1234 I hear you!
Maybe I should move to South Korea 🙈😂

I go through times when I sleep well and then periods when I get 4-5 hours. Anything over 5 hours is good. Optimal about 6.5. Currently in a routine of sleeping about 2am and waking between 7 and 7:30. I'm sure it'll change again though.
I love night time, I like playing on my phone, watching tv and listening to music late into the night. My family are night owls.
My partners sister is child free and boasts that she sleeps 12 hours a night at weekends! No one needs that much, I couldn't be arsed 😂

My abusive ex used sleep deprivation as one of his methods. I had to get up at 5:30 for work and he seldom let me go to bed before 1 or 2am. If he did he'd come banging and clattering through (bathroom led off the bedroom) and bump into the bed, waking me up. I'd then have to do an almost 2 hour commute, work 8 hours and then travel back, usually to him whinging and demanding something or other. He didn't work and slept most of the day while I was out. I ended up dangerously stressed and underweight by the time I left him.

Think you're so right op. I remember being pretty shocked at Dr at CHK up... Overweight etc...when he said he was most concerned about my sleep.... Have found Fitbit a good way of both monitoring and improving sleep

I reckon my optimum amount is 8-9 hours, and if I get consistently less than 6.5-7 I really feel it (as am currently) it's mainly work and stress about work which means I don't get as much as I feel I need (right now am completely shattered so this thread has struck a chord....)

I average 3-4 hours a night, usually for about 4 or t nights a week. Then a couple of nights will bag a good 6 hours.

However, friday night and saturday night this week I got 9 hours both nights and felt like a new person......till 2PM sunday afternoon when I felt like I needed to nap again..

Insomnia rules my life, but my ideal sleep would be 9PM to 9am

@DrCoconut I'm so sorry to hear that.
I recognize that a little in my relationship although not to the same extremes.
So glad you were able to leave and that you don't have that now

My youngest son (ASD) woke up at 11.30pm last night and, I kid you not, he has not gone back to sleep since. My eldest (also ASD diagnosed) got up at 5am. I genuinely believe it is killing me and my DH.

I have three dcs and one who didnt sleep properly for 4 years ( i mean constant waking with screaming fits) and one woke regurlarly until 3 years, eldest more "normal" sleeper but also woke like a typical breastfed baby so a lot! I went through 8 years of surviving on 3/4 hours. It was absolutely horrendous...

My dh obvs took over and I had nights off but after years of extreme sleep deprivation my body couldnt sleep. My youngest is 4 and now everyone sleeps , its taken me a year to relearn to sleep and took actually planned sleep techniques for months. I am now so so.precious re sleep, i feel i almost have ptsd over it. I also go to bed early as i need my sleep, im often in bed at 9.30 as i have v v busy days with 3 dcs and work etc but I have had surprise from others about how early I go to bed but after 8 years i need it. I actually think im in recovery!!

I'm sorry to hear that @FanciedChange, I am sure you know all this but would melatonian be an option?
And yes, during the years when my dcs didnt sleep I felt it was slowly killing me..
Also a lot of ppl seem to think its only newborns who wake....ours were worse sleepers as toddlers a lot worse..

@Abitlost2 yes, they have melatonin which works well most of the time for getting to sleep but the middle of the night dose has never worked? So odd!