Dead mothers belongings

[Bugsareinthebrook]

Husband is eldest of 3. youngest brother is dead leaving him and younger sister.
Mother has been dead for 19 years. She lived in another country with partner. When she died. partner would not let any of her belongings go. All inheritance went to partner.
Husband moved away from his home town- not a long way but enough for me to be called names for taking him away despite the fact that we dont live in my home town either.
Sister and my husand have got more and more distant over the years.
She has stopped speaking to him - no idea why. She had a significant wedding anniversary party in the summer. Entire family were invited apart from us and our teenage son.
It would have been dead mother in laws significant birthday next Monday. Family member is having a party in her honour.
Husband has found out that a box of his mothers belongings has come back to this country and his sister has it. Not been told this and he is very very upset as he feel she wont get anything out of the box to give to our son who never met his Grandmother.
Is he being unreasonable to think he should have been told or is it up to the sister to dish out the belongings as she desires??

What kind of belongings are we talking about? Is it likely to be photographs that your son would like to see?
If these items have specifically been given to his sister then they're hers to do with as she sees fit, if that means keeping them all then so be it.

Has your h contacted the partner in the intervening years to see if he could have any of her belongings ? It's not unreasonable that she managed to get some of her stuff. If there's any photos, would she allow your h to scan them so he has a copy ?

It sounds like you might be getting a bit too involved and hoping to cause drama at the significant birthday tbh.

It’s very confusing. Did your husband leave the country and his sister stayed in another country with their mother while she was still alive so that’s why they had a closer relationship? Has the partner died now and that is how she has the box? If she was still visiting the partner then it’s logical then it would be naturally passed down to her and not your husband. I think you should stop trying to get involved.

Its photo albums and unsure if it is anything else.
I should add that mother partner died this year and husband and sister discussed what they would like from the house.
They could only ask for things that were easily identifiable as his mothers as partners children were very hostile.
They havent been given specifically to her- nothing it that house belongs to her specifically as mother and partner left them bothnothing at all.

I would have sympathy if your dh sought a personal memento for himself. But what interest has a teenage boy in the personal effects of a woman who died before he was born?

both husband and sister had nothing to do with partner after mothers death.
Husband and sister live 20 miles apart. Mother left to live in another country
Im not interfering - It is only husband who is.
Just interested in other opinions

She was his grandmother!!!!!!!

It sounds like your husband and his sister were unfortunately left nothing when their mother died.
With the partner now dead, the sister has come to a private arrangement with the partner's kids and got some stuff.
But nothing was formally left to either of them, so sister has stuff as a gift from another private citizen.
I can see why your husband was upset, but if he doesn't have a good relationship with his sister she's unlikely to share. She doesn't have to either. She could argue that he could have done what ever she did to get things - made nice with whatever relation gave her the things.
Its a devastating situation for your DH, but unless he can make a personal plea to one of the partner's kids for mementos, there's nothing more he can do.

@Bugsareinthebrook

Its photo albums and unsure if it is anything else. I should add that mother partner died this year and husband and sister discussed what they would like from the house. They could only ask for things that were easily identifiable as his mothers as partners children were very hostile. They havent been given specifically to her- nothing it that house belongs to her specifically as mother and partner left them bothnothing at all.

But if he was given a chance to ask for stuff, why didn't know about the box? I assume that sister sent her address (and possibly payment for postage) so that she could receive the bits and bobs.

If I was your h, I'd ask for a chance to scan the photos so that I had a copy too.

I think your DH should reach out to his DSIS and politely ask if he could have some of the photos so he has something to remember his mother by, and to show his DS so that DS can learn who his DGM was.

The worst she can say is no, but hopefully she'll have some compassion and allow him something. If there aren't many photos maybe they could be scanned and shared.

You said your husband received all the inheritance and wouldn't let anything go?
Did his sister receive anything

@Name99

You said your husband received all the inheritance and wouldn't let anything go? Did his sister receive anything

Nope my husband and sister received NOTHING at all. His mother left all her money and belongings to her partner and he would not left anything leave his house.

My mistake, I read it as your partner, not the mums partner