To ask what you do at the weekends? (Sober!)

[NewlySober]

I’m newly sober - not an alcoholic as such, but a big weekend drinker who’s life kinda revolved around partying at the end of every week. A problem drinker I guess.

Realising this wasn’t really where I wanted to be in life, I decided to go sober 2 weeks ago (yay) and am enjoying all the benefits that come with it.

I originally made a list of all the fun sober things I wanted to do in place of my usual weekend drinking but so many of them are becoming more difficult with Covid restrictions.

I know it seems so sad and pathetic not to know what to do with myself but I’d love some inspiration. I live just outside of London but wary of going into busy nightlife areas until I’ve been sober for longer.

What do you do at the weekends? Thank you

Parkrun ! Walk, jog, run 5K. Many have some sort of coffee and cake afterwards. It will get you out of bed as they all start at 9am. All ages and all abilities and most people are friendly.

I struggle having enough time to do all the things I want to do at the weekend.

Long beach/cliff walks. Cooking, preserving whilst listening to podcasts. I like to try a new recipe every weekend.

Sewing.

Reading.

I can relate - I gave up just over 3 years ago and had a very alcohol-centric social life weekends and evenings. The beginning is the hardest but you will find your groove and your friends will start to realise you are serious (mine didn't for quite some time...)
Things I found fulfilling especially in the early days:
Big, early morning walks with a flask of nice tea or coffee e.g. Hampstead heath, Bushey Park, whatever is close by
Galleries, museums, concerts, poetry events (southbank Centre, Somerset House, wellcome collection)
I also joined a writing group that met on Saturday nights in the centre of Shoreditch but was in a secret cafe with no booze - it was like a little sober haven with tea and cake and writing and chatting to new people about interesting things so I still got to go out and socialise on weekend nights but without any pressure to drink
Started running and going to yoga classes (again early morning)
Book club
Arranged to meet friends for breakfast, walks, museums rather than evenings

If you live near London I think going into London in the day, to see latest exhibitions etc would be a nice idea - once you’re back in the evening you’ll be tired and smug from all your cultural endeavours and won’t have itchy feet!

@PigeonPigPie this is really helpful, thank you.

Most of my friends also ‘live for the weekend’ so the idea of going for brunch or a booze free dinner with them just seems off the table at the moment (especially this time of year).

I have some big birthdays and Christmas parties coming up, as well as NYE and these seem really daunting to me at the moment. I hope it gets easier and all of these suggestions are fab!

I could do with losing the booze belly so definitely signing up to the gym ASAP!

There are really fun non drinking events all over too. Like sober raves: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/morning-gloryville-this-earth-rave-tickets-218395977247?aff=web
And recommend Bee Sober events too (find them on fb).

I did see that morning gloryville @CaramelisedLeeks (it was recommended in a quit lit book I read)! Not sure if it’s a bit out there for me - always been a party girl but not quite a raver haha. Will check out the other recommendation, thank you.

I also think you should try to be kind to yourself. Christmas is a really really difficult time to be sober as there are so many triggers, and British Christmas culture is so insanely tied to drinking culture that it's very hard to not be tempted! I still get cravings at Christmas now and I have been sober for 4 ish years. What helps me is acknowledging them out loud to my supportive husband, having a quick moan about how annoying Christmas and drink culture is, and then moving on

Also definitely try to do some public early morning stuff like breakfast or classes or walks because the smug satisfaction of being up early having a nice time and being productive when lots of other people are in bed feeling like absolute shit is a big motivator for me! I must be a horrible person because I love it every time

I totally get that, they are a bit wacky. Bee Sober stuff is more brunch and walks. I have made some amazing friends through those events. Although my social life has changed it feels so much authentic and kind now. I hope it goes well for you x

The non-chore part of weekends can involve:
Beach
Dog walk
Bush walk
Creative stuff (mosaics)
Gym
Reading
Occasional trips away, ie this weekend it’s the Van Gogh light show
Something interesting that tourists might do locally, ie we went to a crystal castle thing last weekend
Meeting with friends for breakfast or coffee
Shopping
Boating
Local markets
Dinner with partner out - one of us drives so not much alcohol involved

I think for a balanced life it’s good to include some regular exercise and something creative

[quote NewlySober]@PigeonPigPie this is really helpful, thank you.

Most of my friends also ‘live for the weekend’ so the idea of going for brunch or a booze free dinner with them just seems off the table at the moment (especially this time of year).

I have some big birthdays and Christmas parties coming up, as well as NYE and these seem really daunting to me at the moment. I hope it gets easier and all of these suggestions are fab!

I could do with losing the booze belly so definitely signing up to the gym ASAP![/quote]
I found my friends the hardest obstacle once I had made the mental shift and had the motivation. Truthfully some of those friends I'm no longer in touch with as I realised they weren't interested in doing anything that didn't involve alcohol. I have made lots of new, more like-minded friends since though and it really does get easier after those first 6-12 months. Good luck, it is without a doubt the best thing I have ever done for my mental and physical health and my life is much more fulfilling now

We host a Sunday lunch with friends about once a month. I find I struggle with eating big meals in the evening as much as I do with alcohol these days (in that I'll be awake all night digesting), so getting together in the daytime is nicer. People are less likely to notice or comment that you're not drinking over lunch too.

Afternoon tea is also good fun (with tea not bottomless Prosecco!) - I did one with Lapsang Souchang (sp?). Oh my god the tea! It was so fresh and I was pumped full of caffeine. There is something so wonderfully luxurious about a pot of copious tea made with fresh leaves drunk at leisure at the weekend.

I'd probably say tea and exercise are my healthy alternatives to alcohol.

I joined a walking group when I first moved somewhere new (somewhat comparable to trying to start a new 'sober life'.) So that on Sundays I had a commitment and something to do. It was nice to do that without a hangover too.

I would also book a morning Pilates class on a saturday - again nicer to do not hungover.

Exercise really helps me. Park run is often suggested on here.