Would love people’s opinions. And call me out if I am being unreasonable!
I have been friends with a girl for years - we met at college. I’ve always had a bit of an underlying feeling she had a quite nasty/vicious side to her and over the years I have seen her fall out with/cut off many friends and family. We’ve always got on well, but I have always had it in my mind.
Over the years we’ve grown closer. But I have always also been aware of her lack of other friendships - or if she does, they’re intense and quick fades rather than healthy, long-standing friendships.
She has 3LOs and has broken up with the partner. It was always quite temperamental and dysfunctional from the get go.
Over the years I have felt her become more and more reliant on me - but at the same time has used me as an emotional punch bag many times over (spells of being angry at me, ignoring me etc) then picks back up with little explanation. She will message me constantly in the day and I am the first person she turns to in a drama (of which there’s many). I have often felt like her counsellor - yet I’m always very aware I don’t always know what to say. I also have to balance this around work, my other friendships, my partner, my family. It has, at times, taken a mental toll on me too.
She doesn’t work - and creates obsessions with things for short periods of time. She often gets a big idea in her head which never materialises and is also quite a big fantasist (I’m going to go here, do this, buy this) which again never materialise. For example, will go on a gym/healthy eating regime and will give social media hourly updates before getting bored 6 weeks later and switching to something else. These periods of high can also often be followed by a bout of low/negativity. It can all be quite exhausting to keep up with. She can also be a little funny when I spend time with other people, although never outwardly admitting it.
But the bottom line is - I’m now 25 weeks pregnant. And I’ll be honest, the pregnancy isn’t simple and I don’t have headspace for it all. I care for her deeply, but I have so much to think about/worry about of my own including full time work I cannot be as present as I have been.
AIBU to just edge away a little? I don’t want her to feel abandoned, but I also feel it’s all a little codependent and I almost feel responsible for her emotional well-being. I also most certainly will not have the time when the LO arrives so I want her to learn to seek support in a wider circle so she is not alone.