To feel unsettled by Handsy Chatters?

[RocketSurgeon]

Folk who wave their hand around when they talk, I've always felt that it really distracts me from concentrating properly on the conversation.

Now that I'm a misanthropic, curmudgeonly menopausal shrew though, I actually think that on some (perhaps primeval) level I'm feeling slightly on edge that there's mild danger in front of me.

I fell that same no matter the sex notgender of the speaker, just sit on your hands or hold yer Costa Coffee bucket, Shirley, please.

So AIBU to feel at best, distracted, at worst slightly mildly threatened by the wavers and gesticulaters?

I do it because I'm autistic.

I'm sure I read something once that there was a study done where people were not allowed to gesture while speaking and were less articulate as a result. I know I gesture even when no one is looking, can't help it!

DH does it and it is so distracting I often can't follow what he's saying! I don't mind a bit of gesticulating but it's like he's creating his own sign language, it's ridiculously over the top.

I thought you were on about a new Instagrammer then op!

As long as the hands don’t actually touch me I don’t mind.

Thanks for letting me know @RocketSurgeon that my ADHD means I mustn't talk to you as it will offend you.

It really irritates me when they (mainly women) do it on the television.

Stay away from Spain then, OP, they'd be silenced if they couldn't use their hands in a conversation, I've even witnessed them doing it during a conversation on a phone call where the other person can't see them.

I find people who talk in a stilted very controlled way, who keep communications bland and colourless by the lack of dynamic self expression with hands, face and body, to be very boring and uninspiring. Hth

@CorrBlimeyGG

I do it because I'm autistic.

That's interesting, there's a couple of people who do this a lot on my life and there's been mutterings vaguely that they think they might be autistic.

@MedusasBadHairDay

I'm sure I read something once that there was a study done where people were not allowed to gesture while speaking and were less articulate as a result. I know I gesture even when no one is looking, can't help it!

Yes I think it's a technique that lets their thought process glow.

@zurala

DH does it and it is so distracting I often can't follow what he's saying! I don't mind a bit of gesticulating but it's like he's creating his own sign language, it's ridiculously over the top.

Sometimes when my DH does it I really really can't focus on the words because it feels like my eyeballs are at Wimbledon finals.

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin

I thought you were on about a new Instagrammer then op!

@DameCelia

Thanks for letting me know *@RocketSurgeon* that my ADHD means I mustn't talk to you as it will offend you.

@DameCelia that's a bit of a stretch isn't it?

It was more about wondering whether other people had the sane reaction, rather than banning others from doing it.

I definitely feel it's my meno anxiety that's taken it up a level from me feeling distracted to me feeling unsettled.

Peace out

@PlacidPenelope

Stay away from Spain then, OP, they'd be silenced if they couldn't use their hands in a conversation, I've even witnessed them doing it during a conversation on a phone call where the other person can't see them.

Heh, yes there's probably a few nationalities who are quite upper limbly expressive

@awesomekilick

I find people who talk in a stilted very controlled way, who keep communications bland and colourless by the lack of dynamic self expression with hands, face and body, to be very boring and uninspiring. Hth

Ya got me

I don't do it because I'm an autistic

I've even witnessed them doing it during a conversation on a phone call where the other person can't see them
I do this. Sometimes more so on the phone than in person. It helps me to concentrate on what I'm saying.

Meh. You're menopausal. If you're managing to restrain yourself from causing actual bodily harm you get a gold star from me.

I think it depends on the amount of gesticulating. A little bit is fine but if it's constant hand rotations or finger pointing then it can get irritating for sure

Good grief, never visit mainland Europe then, OP!

Are you English by any chance OP?

I'm Jewish - like southern European people, we don't talk without hands! I can see it being a bit distracting or annoying for people who like their personal space, but not unsettling, but each to their own!

@Echobelly a Jewish man I worked with used to laugh at me using my hands to talk! I'm Irish

A lot of kids with additional needs do it. Dd with a language disorder does. On that basis yabu.