Dick move from me?

[Dickmoveornot]

I was very close to a friend throughout the pandemic and she made plans to include me in her big birthday celebration just gone. We then lost touch a bit over the last couple of months but were messaging a little. I can see now that said birthday has gone ahead and I wasn’t invited (on social media). She has invited me to a drinks event but not replied to my latest messages and I feel a bit put out by it all. I don’t really want to make an effort to go for someone who hasn’t made much effort for me!

How do I say it and what do I say? I want to explain that I just haven’t heard much from her but feel like that would be mean. Is it better just to let her know that I won’t be able to make it after all?

Difficult one. When you lost touch for a couple of months you could have got in touch - you knew when her birthday was and had chatted about the event so maybe when she didn't hear from you she assumed you weren't up for it. Now she's asking you to another event and you're thinking about basically not being friends with her anymore. Just go, apologise for losing touch, wish her a happy belated birthday and become closer again.

Don't be shy about asking why you weren't invited? That's strange even if time lapsed between contact.
Month's pass for me without hearing from friends, I'd still invite them to an important party.

If you like her and want to stay friends, do that. Accepting an invitation is hardly ‘making an effort’!

Ask her openly. All this English pussyfooting around these sorts of things is frustrating