How to get rid of cripplingly low self esteem

[Maddymorphosis]

I've suffered from it for as long as I can remember, I was bullied for a long time and had an abusive relationship where the man was violent towards me and I've sought therapy here and there, but not sure anything has truly worked.

I have a lot of things going for me and I feel that I should be very confident, but I'm not. I've always been shy, my father is very shy too and I've accepted this is who I am.

However I constantly have negative thoughts and assume the worst. I don't read a lot of novels or literature and for some reason I assume this will make people perceive me as less intelligent or interesting. I'm far more interested in reading articles or learning about topics and new places.
On the other hand, I'm very creative, I wrote a book, I do a lot of art and speak other languages but I still feel inadequate.
I am told that I'm attractive and I am generally happy with that, though I have my off days.
I'm sporty and ride a bike daily.
I have a rewarding job that I enjoy.

I have a partner who loves me and a good relationship with my family.
I just wish I felt more confident in who I was. I don't have a large number of friends and I am a quiet and shy person, I know there's nothing wrong with it but I just want to be happier in who I am.

What is your secret to having higher self esteem and feeling confident?

Manifest it! Positive mental attitude. A don't give a fuck attitude (I.e not bothered what other people think without being rude and arrogant!) Be more open, fight your shyness and become more chatty.

Bump

Seeing a psychologist!!
Helped me tremendously. I realised a lot of things live in my head ...
You need to understand where it comes from. How deep it lays. How it makes you feel. What you think will help it. Learning tips and tricks on improving. Etc

Its a long road. But worth it

This can be fixed.

1. Stand confidently, posture counts for a lot
2. Write down all the stories you’re telling yourself (I’m shy, not reading novels makes me seem less intelligent, I have off days, etc)
3. Get to the bottom of all the limiting beliefs that fuel these stories
4. Run each belief through a few questions: is this always true, what would I advise a loved one who tells me this etc
5. Create empowering beliefs, repeat those daily until they’re internalised
6. Cut yourself some slack
7. Be able to laugh about yourself
8. Get physical exercise and fresh air daily, even if it’s just a walk
9. This list is by no means comprehensive but it’s a good start

10. Identify toxic situations and people and cut them out 11. Etc 12

Same. CBT is helping

I think finding the right counsellor for you can make a huge difference