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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas guest

16 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 14/12/2021 13:21

Typically our Christmas is just immediate family with one family friend who doesn’t have a lot of other family.
One of my family members is unwell with a chronic condition and is anxious of covid, another is desperate to travel to Europe in the new year for personal reasons.
This friend has been prone to flying in the face of the rules - ie going to pub lock ins during lockdown one.

In the run up to Christmas as I am desperate to go home I’m keeping my social circle limited as having to isolate over Christmas would be grim.
This family friend has been quite open about how they plan on going to various Christmas parties/nights out over the next ten days. With this in mind two members of the family (one elderly one the chronically unwell member mentioned above) have asked that she doesn’t attend, especially as a few of them know people who tested negative with symptoms one day only to test positive the next.
She’s very put out and has been calling saying how much she was looking forward to the Queen family Christmas.
We’ve explained that she is still welcome but requested that in light of requests from those two family members she reassess her Christmas socialising.
Are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Quickchangeartiste · 14/12/2021 13:28

Gosh no, you are not unreasonable at all. Incredibly selfish of her not to understand about the risks to others, who are extending hospitality to her.
But if you are in Scotland, Wee Nippy may solve the issue later this afternoon - so there is that.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 14/12/2021 13:30

I’m not in Scotland but my family and this friend are. Maybe I’ll be stuck home after all anyway Angry

OP posts:
MaryHingey · 14/12/2021 13:32

The friend can make / is free to make other arrangements, it doesn't sound like she values your family much if she is pulling the EB card
Her having a jolly does not top trump one of your families health

tanstaafl · 14/12/2021 13:41

YABU inasmuch as not saying she can’t come full stop.

ContadoraExplorer · 14/12/2021 13:45

Perfectly fine, you have given them options, it's up to them if they choose the one that means they can come to you for the day. Only issue to me would be if you trust them to absolutely stick to it if they agree to.

Disfordarkchocolate · 14/12/2021 14:24

Not at all.

She is displaying a very unpleasant attitude about a very reasonable request based on a clear risk.

AutumnLeaves21 · 14/12/2021 14:35

Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. You’ve already invited her, she isn’t doing anything illegal at the moment in that christmas parties are within the rules. You can’t dictate what she does with her social life, presumably your other guests are vaccinated? We have to start getting on with our lives at some point.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 14/12/2021 14:37

Well. Nickys three household rule has probably given us our answer anyway!!

OP posts:
Shedmistress · 14/12/2021 14:56

She’s very put out and has been calling saying how much she was looking forward to the Queen family Christmas.

Oh dear how sad.

Chloemol · 14/12/2021 16:06

YANBU. Family comes first

She has made the choice to socialise, you have made the choice to be careful for family members

Goal posts have changed, you have told her, so it’s up to her what she does now

@AutumnLeaves21 you post shows that actually you don’t understand how covid has affected people mentally, and that some, especially the elderly who maybe vaccinated but may still require hospitalisation if they get it, dont actually want to catch covid( after all who in their right mind would) in the first place, and actually who can blame them

thing47 · 14/12/2021 16:12

Don't be daft @autumnleaves21, of course people have the right to decide who can and cannot enter their homes, for whatever reasons they like. If people don't meet the conditions of entry, they don't get to go in Grin. Family friend has been given a choice, she has to choose.

scratchedbymycat · 14/12/2021 16:26

No, you're not. I have a friend like that who asked to join us because her husband is going to his family for Christmas, and I declined. I didn't have to tell her why, because we're going to other family and couldn't invite her anyway. But I could invite her for Boxing Day. I won't though, based on her attitude towards socialising.

Restart10 · 14/12/2021 17:24

Yanbu. I would uninvited her as you can't trust that she will minimize socializing.She doesn't seem the type to take this seriously anyway.

Aprilx · 14/12/2021 18:28

@Shedmistress

She’s very put out and has been calling saying how much she was looking forward to the Queen family Christmas.

Oh dear how sad.

Why is it sad to be looking forward to Christmas? Confused
Shedmistress · 14/12/2021 20:25

Why is it sad to be looking forward to Christmas?

You might be too young to recognise a good old fashioned Windsor Davies sardonic response to pitiful wailing.

Chatwin · 14/12/2021 20:30

Surely someone with such an active social life can make arrangements to spend Christmas with those like minded friends?

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