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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not want to discuss my private health with doctor receptionists

232 replies

Jasmine00 · 14/12/2021 12:08

I'm so sick of calling my doc surgery and having to explain to the receptionist my ailments especially as they are mostly endometriosis related. Sometimes they even try and give advice back. Arggggg I hate it.
Doesn't help that I live in a small village and these are the people I see on a daily basis either

OP posts:
OnlyonemoresleeptilChristmas · 14/12/2021 14:34

X post

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 14/12/2021 14:35

@rrhuth

I would say something like 'it is related to endometriosis but I am not going over the gory details now, I need a doctor's appointment to discuss please'. So I would name the general issue but I would refuse to get into details with the receptionist.
It's enough to say the first part "it is related to endometriosis" as that's reasonable but you don't need to say the last part "but I am not going over the gory details now, I need a doctor's appointment to discuss please" as that's a little rude.

IME they've only needed to know a rough idea to ensure that you're prioritised correctly ie endometriosis pain = non urgent appt, mental health = may need a couple more questions to determine urgency, chest pain = v urgent and probably requires advice to call an ambulance as opposed to the dr's surgery.

whynotwhatknot · 14/12/2021 14:42

we dont get t see different specialists for ours so i dont see why its relevant

we either get a gp appointment or get told to ring back if not an ergency

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/12/2021 14:47

I don’t like it. I don’t like explaining what’s wrong more times than absolutely necessary.

However I also agree with pp that they need to get some idea of whether a gp appointment is the right way to go - is it an A and E emergency for instance, or is it something that a pharmacist could help with instead. I think many of us are overthinking and a very brief outline is enough - as pps have said just a couple of words will probably do.

pianolessons1 · 14/12/2021 14:50

I'm a GP. About 5% of my patients refuse to say and just say 'personal', which is fine. But I prioritise based on what the receptionists say and 'personal' goes in with non urgent.

milly74 · 14/12/2021 14:51

@pianolessons1

I'm a GP. About 5% of my patients refuse to say and just say 'personal', which is fine. But I prioritise based on what the receptionists say and 'personal' goes in with non urgent.
truly appalling
milly74 · 14/12/2021 14:52

@pianolessons1

I'm a GP. About 5% of my patients refuse to say and just say 'personal', which is fine. But I prioritise based on what the receptionists say and 'personal' goes in with non urgent.
really, shocked and appalled that could kill someone
girlmom21 · 14/12/2021 14:55

really, shocked and appalled that could kill someone

You realise they just get dealt with later in the day, right?

How's the doctor supposed to know it's urgent if the patient doesn't say what the issue is?

triceratopsatemyhat · 14/12/2021 15:04

Sorry I think my post wasn't clear.

What I meant was, this is why there is a triage system. The Drs decide the order of priority, we don't triage ourselves obviously.

To be fair though OP if it's a gyn issue you're likely under the care of a specialist who you should be contacting?

NandorTheRelentless · 14/12/2021 15:05

@TurtleBeach

I completely understand the need to gather information about the reason for my appointment request and would be happy to give it in order to ensure I am seen by the most suitable person as quickly and efficiently as possible. But, this system does not work in conjunction with the "must phone at 8am" system. At this time of the day, I have no private space to have the conversation. I'll often be with people I know but whom I don;t want overhearing something as vague as "gynae problems" or "mental health" issues. This is still private medical information and the reason why the actual consultations with the GP take place behind closed doors. Allow me to call at any time of day and I'll find space to give the receptionist any and all of the information they need.
Change your doctor then - if you cannot call at any time to make an appointment then change your doctor.

I can phone at any time (well, they ask you not to call for results at X time but apart from that)

milly74 · 14/12/2021 15:07

@girlmom21

really, shocked and appalled that could kill someone

You realise they just get dealt with later in the day, right?

How's the doctor supposed to know it's urgent if the patient doesn't say what the issue is?

don't defend the indefensible
girlmom21 · 14/12/2021 15:07

@milly74 don't be so ridiculously dramatic

Alonelonelyloner · 14/12/2021 15:08

I phoned once to desperately make an appointment for my son who was suicidal - during covid and not easy to get appointments.
Goodness that receptionist was a beautiful human being who calmly spoke to me and reassured me and promised me that the GP would speak to my son and that we would together help my boy.

I am crying thinking about that receptionist.

But otherwise YANBU!

milly74 · 14/12/2021 15:10

[quote girlmom21]@milly74 don't be so ridiculously dramatic [/quote]
i wish i was being
how can it be right what Gp surgeries are allowed to get away with

TroysMammy · 14/12/2021 15:11

@pianolessons1 the GPs in the surgery I work in would do the same.

girlmom21 · 14/12/2021 15:13

@milly74 they have to call patients in some kind of order and they can only prioritise the ones where they know what the issue is.

What do you think they're 'getting away with'?

They ask what's wrong for a reason.

IncompleteSenten · 14/12/2021 15:13

They ask because they are told to ask.
Giving advice is different. They aren't qualified to give medical advice and should be discouraged from doing so.

ReeseWitherfork · 14/12/2021 15:14

how can it be right what Gp surgeries are allowed to get away with
Get away with what? Not prioritising someone who won't say what the problem is? You realise 999 have very different response times based on the problem and they won't dispatch an 8 minute ambulance if you refuse to tell them what the problem is? Heck, they probably won't send an ambulance at all. Needing urgent life threatening medical help is not the time to be cagey and secretive.

Elodeastar · 14/12/2021 15:14

While I understand your concerns (I have them too) it is essentially part of their job - it's not their fault they are asked to do this, so treat them kindly.

pianolessons1 · 14/12/2021 15:15

@girlmom21

really, shocked and appalled that could kill someone

You realise they just get dealt with later in the day, right?

How's the doctor supposed to know it's urgent if the patient doesn't say what the issue is?

It means they will get called maybe an hour or so later than they would do otherwise. How is that going to kill someone?
RoseMartha · 14/12/2021 15:16

It is frustrating OP. I have to tell the receptionist detailed personal information of the problem to even get a phone consultation. Then to be told all appointments for that day have gone

You are not alone.

EssexLioness · 14/12/2021 15:16

@Sceptre86

There are posts like this every few weeks. They don't ask for their own amusement and you should put in a written complaint to the practice manager if receptionists are giving out unsolicited health advice when they are not qualified to do so. That is unreasonable! The information is needed to help triage your call. If you would rather not say state that and ask them to put on on your records so you avoid this every time you need an appointment. Receptionists don't make up the rules, they are told to triage calls. They are also bound by confidentiality and will rightly be sacked if they were gossiping about your health.
This!
RoastedParnsip · 14/12/2021 15:16

YANBU. I simply say "sorry it's private I can only discuss it with my GP and since your not a qualified health professional I'm not comfortable sharing."
Shuts them up. Grin

godmum56 · 14/12/2021 15:17

@Jasmine00

It's harder because these receptionists I see at school, local shops and local places. Do I really want these people to have to know about my gynae issues, not really! In a city you are more anonymous so I don't think this would be such an issue
but to an extent, they will know, they will generate prescriptions, handle test results and consultant letters and from this they will have a pretty fair idea of what the problem is. I partially understand your issue. I live in a small village too and used to work in the NHS. I was on first name terms, although not friends outside work, with many of the GP's in the local practices. I have provided rehab services to my neighbours including advice on catheters and so on to both men and women but in those cases I offered them the option of seeing another staff member. When my husband was terminally ill it was the team I had managed who provided his in home treatment, again including the messy personal stuff. The other thing is that apart from the rare bad egg, we just aren't interested. Not to disparage patients and their concerns which are very real, but we deal with hundreds of people over a year. Most of them will have some kind of private issue. Nothing of your medical notes is likely to be amazing or unusual or worthy of note....and that's the truth.
LittleRoundRobin · 14/12/2021 15:18

@Jasmine00 As some people have said, the receptionists need to know (roughly) what is wrong, so they can direct you to the correct HCP. They probably don't want to ask anymore than you want them to! They shouldn't be giving medical advice though!

Unfortunately anyone here who is in a small village will know that this doesn't always work when everyone knows everyone. Eg receptionists congratulating women in playground when they have called in for morning sickness medicine etc you get the picture!

Really? Shock If this happens, that is very wrong, and deserves a written complaint. (Actual letter or email.)