to be furious at my friend for letting me down today...

[differentname]

... she was supposed to look after my ds today, dh had booked the day off work so that we could go Christmas shopping.

I had really been looking forward to having this time with dh, it's very rare for us to have a day together.

I have looked after her children on several occasions. This morning I was waiting for her but she didn't show up, then she texted me to say she "forgot" - by then she was at a friend's house, a 25 min drive away, and she didn't offer to turn around to come and get ds after all.

The thing is, my friend has recently lost her mother and is still grieving, so I'm wondering whether I should cut her some slack?

Hmmm. Tricky one...

How long ago did you arrange this?

I thought that you weren't being unreasonable - until I read the last line......she's recently lost her mother - so cut her some slack...

We arranged it about 10 days ago.

Of courseyou should, she recently lost her mum.

How long ago did her mum die?

I ask because if it was very recent, she's probably still not capable of thinking straight.

Her mum died about four weeks ago.

I am amazed she was up to even offering to do it in the first place or that you took her up on it so soon after her mother's death.

There's your answer, I think.

I don't think she's thinking straight at all.

cut her some slack, she lost her mum 4 weeks ago, made an arrangement she probably forgot about instantly due to grief and you are asking if you should be furious?? and she is probably dreading her first xmas without her mum

Okay forget the word furious, I genuinely wasn't sure what to think.

Will not be cross at all, will in fact ring her and ask her if there's anything I can do for her.

there you go! she is probably feeling bad enough...

Good on you, differentname.

I'm sure she'll be very pleased to hear from you.

yup, deffo offer to help her
she won't know which way's up right now, so good for you for saying you'll be there