Dating conundrum - out of practice

[Anniebear123]

I have been speaking to a guy I met on a dating app pretty much all day every day for a month. We’ve only had one in-person date so far due to clashing work schedules but we are due to have another tomorrow. I found out that he was on a date with someone else this evening (a friend saw him), and while I suppose he is well within his rights to do so and it’s not something he really needs to have run past me, I can’t help but feel a little bit turned off.

He has been nothing but lovely, both on our date and via text and had made a point several times of saying how much he’s looking forward to the date and getting to know me better, as well as talking about future dates.

I haven’t been in a relationship in 4 years so I’m definitely out of practice. Am I being unreasonable to feel a little upset? I don’t want to waste anyone’s time by going on the date, but at the same time I do like him and know we’re both on the same page with regards to looking for a relationship.

Any advice is appreciated!

• Also, just to say, we obviously haven’t discussed being exclusive yet, that’s not even what I want - it’s still very early days. In todays world though, is it unreasonable to just want to get to know one person at a time and hope for the same in return? (Genuine question as I don’t know anything any more!)

Id expect people to talk to a few people and keep their options open! Id probably feel a bit miffed but one date is nothing. Id just go and see what happens....4 dates was when i stopped to talking to other people!

Hmm.

What did you feel, in detail, when you found out?

You've had one date and I think you've invested a bit early. I am the absolute queen at this so I know what I'm talking about! It used to be if you'd have a second date with me I'd marry you. But that wasn't a good approach.

Imagine that he's seeing somebody different every night. Now, what do you really feel about him? Do you like him, as a person? Does he add to your life?

I would be a little bit less available tbh. Say youl be out of contact for an all day meeting. Give yourself some space.

You've been on one date, you need to chill!! The best dating advice is don't put all eggs in one basket. Talk a little less between seeing each other, and remind yourself it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out.

Thanks curlii! :)

Thanks curlii! :)

Very good advice, I think you’re right!

It’s not allowing me to reply to individual comments, but thank you all so much so far - sound advice and worth my noting! :)

How did your friend know what he looked like if you’ve only had one date?

I agree with PP, you need to make yourself less available. There’s some debate on mumsnet about when it is and isn’t okay to date other people and if you need to have “the talk” first but I think most would agree that if you’ve only had one date that’s entirely fair game.

Think of it this way- you’ve only met him once. He’s practically a stranger! It’s fine if him seeing other people puts you off, you’re allowed to go off him for whatever reason you like, but I think you’re being a bit harsh at this early stage

Its normal to be dating more than one person especially online.
Only one date in a month would not be enough for me to be thinking of exclusively.
I did 3 dates with 3 different men in a week, the last one I quite liked and when he asked me for a second date I hid my profile and we are having a 3rd date tomorrow.
Im a single parent with full time job so no time to date 2 at once but for people with more time less compilations its not unusual.
I would expect someone to be sure on me 4 or 5 dates in but not after one, the texting is not really anything, you need to spend more time together.

You've only had one date so far, most people would be keeping their options open at this point.

You've only had one date so far, most people would be keeping their options open at this point.

Is your friend sure that it was him? How well does she know him?