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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son visited

10 replies

3boyshere · 13/12/2021 22:21

My lovely son has moved out of our family home to live with his partner about 30 minutes away. We all live in the London area. We visit him by prior arrangement about once ever two weeks. His partner is lovely and always makes us welcome. I found out today that he actually visited a friend in the same road as we live and didn't call to see us whilst he was there. AIBU being a little bit hurt by this?

OP posts:
5foot5 · 13/12/2021 22:27

I understand how you feel but there could be good reasons that you shouldn't feel hurt about. Maybe he didn't have much time after visiting his friend and felt it was unfair to just drop in for a flying visit when he hadn't got time to stop for a cuppa or anything.

Or maybe he thought you would be busy and didn't want to get under your feet. Think of the number of threads on here where people say they dislike parents or PILs dropping in without warning.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 13/12/2021 22:30

My ds lives 6 hours away. He came up last weekend for an event with his friends.. I didn't see him. He was in friend mode and didn't bother me a bit.

Original poster
3boyshere · 13/12/2021 22:39

Thank you ladies maybe I'm overthinking it a bit. We do have a bit of an open house policy here and everyone is welcome anytime. I guess I miss him being around but I do really try not to be that overbearing mum! xx

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 13/12/2021 22:41

It’s depends how much time he had really. I visit a friend very near my mum, I don’t tell her, she will only moan that she didn’t get to see me. But there are only so many hours in the day.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 13/12/2021 22:41

Its hard when they move out and you're just finding your feet with the new relationship and expectations Flowers

You can't help how you feel, but he wasn't being hurtful.

Ponoka7 · 13/12/2021 22:48

My boyfriend lives in the same road as my DD and GC. I sneak in and out on occasion because I'm entitled to my life and using my time as I want.
However it does take time to get over adult children moving out and becoming seperate from you. It's a period of adjustment.

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 13/12/2021 22:49

As a mum to young sons this made me sad.

I'm sure he had a good reason. There are loads of times I have opportunities to see my parents. Sometimes I'm up for it and take them, other times I dont fancy it. I still love them very much.

Palavah · 13/12/2021 22:55

Yabu. He's allowed to be in /pass through your area without popping in to see you every time.

Theremoresefulday · 13/12/2021 22:59

I sometimes go to see my friend and don’t visit dd who lives not that far away.

It’s just an adjustment - you’ll get used to it x

Original poster
3boyshere · 13/12/2021 23:09

@WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain I'm so sorry I did not mean to make you sad 😢 I have a lovely relationship with my three boys. I think I am just getting use to there only being two at home. Like most parents I only want them to be happy xx 😘

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