To want another child (within the next 4 years)

[MMDSH]

I had a horrible pregnancy. Had our twins 6 weeks early. They've had reflux and are still nightmares regarding sleep now at age 2. They are behind on their language development (bilingual but even still). We live paycheck to paycheck at the moment and I'll be going back to finish my education in summer. Our car won't fit 3 car seats. We will have difficulty affording visiting DP's family abroad with another person to buy plane tickets for. Etc. Etc. The list goes on basically. The cons seem to outweigh the pros by a lot.

But I don't feel... Complete, if that makes sense. Because with our twins I had a cesarean, I didn't have milk and despite attempts with pumping and nursing, it just didn't happen because I had been so ill (and hospitalised for weeks). I didn't get to do normal activities with my new baby, like baby swimming. I also really want my kids to have a younger sibling. I just see our family as complete if a third child arrives. When I picture our future I picture it with our twins and their younger sibling.

We agree if we do have another it'll be within the next 4 years as otherwise the twins will be too old and so will we frankly (for our taste).

Partner is leaning toward 2 and through.

AIBU?

Review once your twins start school? You will have a better idea if language delay is an issue and hopefully getting more sleep

It really doesn’t sound like you can afford it at present, but that might change in the next couple of years. I would sit down and make a budget to work out how much it will actually cost, and then make a plan for the steps you need to take to get to the financial position you need to be in.

Just to warn you that feeling of broodiness never goes away for some people - you could have another and still feel broody. My 80 year old neighbour says she would love another baby and to be honest so would I and I am late 40s!

It doesn't sound like you can afford it right now and what if it were twins again?

What if you have more twins?

It's pretty crap being the younger sibling of twins, believe me. I'd be thinking less about what you purportedly missed out and more about the practical realities and experience of this 'dream' third.

I'm one of those that will likely be 60 and broody, it just doesn't go away for some of us. Currently you can't afford another baby or what if it was twins? I'd finish your education, get a job and then reconsider. By that time your twins will be in school so no childcare bill and maybe things will look brighter financially.

I clicked YABU. Not because its unreasonable to want a third child. But because your reasons don't really make sense to me.

Your milk didnt come in...that is not a reason to have another child, so that you can try breastfeeding again! The vast majority of mothers in the UK do not successfully breastfeed so the likelihood is that you wouldn't this time either.

You didn't do baby swimming classes...again not something that benefits the baby long term and when they're older it's of no consequence.

You want your children to have a younger sibling...why? Do you think they're automatically going to be close, with a sibling their own age and a sibling a good few years younger? How would you feel if they didn't get on?

If you want a baby then you want a baby and that's fine. But don't have one to try and correct things that you regret with your first babies as thats not fair on anyone