too right I am, inlaw xmas present horror!

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Grrrrrr....Every year I dread Christmas with the inlaws because of the crazy amount of crap the give us. I have had to put half their presents in a closet as there is no room for them anywhere else.

The presents are excessive, ill-conceived and for the most part, unwanted. Amongst other things, one of the presents for my 6 month old was a hot water bottle .

What the HELL am I meant to do with stuff like that? Or where do we put the 15 pairs of underwear/socks that my dh recieves twice a year (birthdays too natch). What on Earth do they think he does to socks + underwear to get through them so quickly?

I am now looking at a pile of gifts that go halfway up the tree, with a pile in the closet besides. It just looks obscene.

I end up giving most of it away and then I feel guilty. Yes, they love to give, yes they mean well, yes I am a big fricking grinch but I don't care. These presents don't feel given so much as inflicted.

Gawd - this sounds like mum.. She often wraps things "she got free from the Bingo" for pressies. Last year we had TWO chocolate fountains FFS ?! Oh - and a bottle of "Pomagne" ?

This year she has bought a Dora swimming cossie for my dd.. She is 7 months old - the cossie is for 3-4 years (but it was on sale !) plus a load of other random shit which will be heading straight for the bin/charity shop.

I know its the thought that counts but clearly...she doesn't bloody think

Funnily enough rebelmum I have recieved a peg bag and tea towels more than once from them.

I don't think they are doing it to spite me. I think my MiL has some sort of thing that makes her buy loads of stuff and this is just her way of getting rid of it. Presents do not take into account the likes, wants or needs of the recipient - she gives just as ramdom stuff to my dh who she absolutely dotes on. The only difference between our gifts is that mine are 'female' and his are 'male - I get bottles of Love, he gets Lynx.

Oh how I can relate to this....

my MIL used to feel the need to give dh a large quantity of presents, all a bit useless or "bland, could have been give to anyone type" books each Xmas. She bought me some 'borderline tasteful' stuff but I took it as being tasteful and put it to good use.
We opened our fleecy sweatshirts from her in front of my brother one year and he said our faces were a picture !

She also sent the ds's a large box of individually gift wrapped presents that took as long to open as all his presents from Father Christmas. It was too much, almost as if she felt the need to fill the equivalent of a Santa sack or pillowcase, just because she could financially.

Anyhow, we fell out or rather she fell out with us about 2 years ago and since then she sends a tersely worded Xmas card and a cheque or cash for the ds's. Bliss.

I send her photo's of the ds's and a nice Christmas card. Until such time as she is ready to have more contact we will be free from naff present overload and too many toys.

Every year we get a pile of crap too. knickers and socks & MIL will always buy the wrong size knickers, anything from a size 8 to a size 18 (I am a 10-12).

The amount of crap they buy for the DC's is obscene -they might play with it once then it get stuck in a cupboard.

ahot water bottle for a 6mth old is a great idea

i used to put one in dds cot ten mns before she went to bed (obviously didnt put it back in)

if you put your baby down in her cot while she is asleep, the cold sheets can waken them.

wrked for me anyway

Hot water bottles will be no good to an old people's home. They're not allowed to use them for H&S reasons - they use those AWFUL smelling "wheatbag" things that you can heat up in the microwave (and stink your entire kitchen out with).

My sister started a pressy request thing about 15 years ago. She got some of those little books that have rip out pages, and put a present request on each page, ranging from the new purse to the new cooker and every price range in-between. She also had about 3 times as many requesta as there was people. She then handed the book to my mum who picked a pressy by ripping out the page. Mum then handed the book on to the next family member and on and on. By the time Christmas came around, my sis knew she would have pressies she wanted, but not who from, and we all had something to buy that would be apprieciated. We all do something similar at Christmas now and the only people who buy socks are the stubborn ones who think its crass to buy from a list (its more crass to buy an unwanted pressy when there is an alternative).

One other thing I have done, (space permitting), is to keep the useless stuff, smellies etc. and rewrap and send them out as birthday and next years Christmas pressies and summer fete stuff.
It may evan have helped in one situation where I'm not sure but I think I may have sent the pressy back to the sender, as the next year I received stuff with a bit more thought.

Thanks all for the suggestions, but I am not dealing with that sort of folk. There is Their Way Of Doing Things and there is Sheer Madness and never the twain shall meet. They would find a present request book mystifying. It would take maximum bluntness to impress on them just how crappy their gifts are, and this would be hurtful. I don't think there is a solution.

Thanks for letting me vent though, it has been v therapeutic.

The next time you see a hot pink jumper made from plastic fibres, an eerie glass clown, a scarf that doubles as a hat if you follow the incomplete instructions given in Bulgarian that came with it, think of me and smile.

My daughter gives me lists of what they all would like I can then choose what I want to buy them knowing they will like it but not what it is. helps me to...

He he....
....So I'm not alone!!!!!!

We have the same MIL problem every christmas and birthday DP gets :

1 x pair 'comedy' socks (too thin to wear in boots and never very funny!)
3 x pair black sports socks (he doesn't wear trainers)
3 x pair black and grey thermal socks (he still hasn't worn out the 7million other pairs she's bought him)
3 x pair black 'dress' socks (he only ever wears boots)
5 x pair black or grey boxershorts (why 5? is he to go commando on the weekend?)
1 x black/grey/navy jumper (he never wears jumpers)
1 x pair black jeans (cheap, dye leaking ones from Primark)
8 x standard sized bars of cadbury's dairy milk (he does like getting these!)
10 x 50g pouches of tobacco (he's been trying to give up for 2 years!)
1 x bottle of cheap vodka she won at bingo (he doesn't drink)

What makes this list worse is that his birthday is only one month before christmas!

Every birthday and christmas I get:-

1 or 2 x pair of pajamas (I don't wear pj's)
1 x cheap makeup set (I NEVER wear makeup)
1 x box roses (I only like the caramels)
1 x cheap bath products set (always nasty smelling and I have sensitive skin)

What is she saying? That I smell and always look tired!

I don't mean to be ungrateful, it's lovely that she likes to give! It's just that she never seems to put any thought into it.

DP would much rather she brought him a pack of plectrums or guitar strings (he has been playing guitar for over 25 years) or even just gave him the money, even if it's only a few quid and then he can put it towards something he really wants!

I would much rather she just asked me for a list of things I liked, even if I'd need to put where the items can be purchased and how much they cost! I don't mind if she stated that she has only budgeted £1 for my pressie, I could still come up with a short list of options she could choose to buy for me!

On top of the gifts recieved disappointment we also have another MIL problem...

We are on a very very tight budget and I have stated (2 years running) that We cannot afford to buy things for people for christmas and so I will be spending massive amounts of my time making tokens for folk so they know that we still think of them. 2 years running the woman has purchased presents for 30% of DP's family (the obscure ones like aunts and cousins) and presented them to me to wrap up and distribute to these people as if they are from us. She will then declare (usually less than 2 weeks before christmas) that she can't afford to get any more/hasn't the time to get anymore and that we'll have to go out and buy the pressies for the rest of the family.

So the first bit sounds ok but...

...does uncle brian really want a new pair of white y fronts? does auntie margaret really want a new pair of 10 denier barely black tights? Does cousin elisabeth really want a new faux suade pbaby pink passport cover?

More to the point, do we REALLY want to put our names down as the givers of these gifts?

Then there's the fact that I have already spent months making everybody a token gift, time now wasted

AND the fact that when we have no money left and less than 2 weeks within which to work miracles, we have to come up with a minimum of £95 to be able to buy everyone a pressie on a par with the gifts she has already purchased for us to give out!

This means that her real christmas pressie to her dear darling son and his partner is three weeks with no heating on, sitting with only candlelight, limited pc useage, no TV/DVD/console games, Pasta (plain with no butter or accompliment) or 20p a loaf bread and marmite sandwiches for EVERY meal, no petrol, the cats have crap food that they really dislike and we have to share all baths or have only stand up washes plus we also have to grovel to my parents to borrow cash (something I hate doing above all else)

Ah yes - my ILs are from Planet Excess as well!

They ALWAYS ask what the dc want/need - I give a reasonable reply such as 'lego' or 'books', they then ignore what I have said and go mad in Toys R Us.....

It is all good quality stuff but just way, way too much.

Also they have started turning up with £30+ presents for dc when they come for a weekend so am expecting Xmas pile to be bigger this year to out-do the weekend presents.....

MIL gives Dh books

Ones she has read already

What a relief to find other people have the same issue. My MIL is obsessed with buying on the cheap. She just picks up things during the year because "they're a bargain", without any thought as to who may want these things or why they are so cheap in the first place. She gets to Christmas having accumulated a mound of crap and then randomly decides who to give them to.

I couldn't care less how much or how little she spends if there was some thought put into the gift. There is always some scene at Christmas because the children haven't yet learned how to lie through their teeth and act delighted to receive a crappy plastic robot with bits falling off (ages 24 months+ when they have just turned 7) etc.

I'm so fed up of MIL's cheap presents that this year I've bought her :
A £5 smelly set - in a fragrance I know she doesn't like, a bargain piccie album £1 with several photos of DS (she's only seen him 3 times in 13mths) and best of all a set of 3 hair scrunchies from Poundland.
Can't wait to see her face.

Yes am relived too I was feeling a pissed off that I would have to find homes for all the crap that I was about to receive, 3 pushchairs and a farmyard with lots and lots of tiny pieces I will be treading on and will be blocking my hoover for years to come.. it's cheering to know I'm not alone

devonsmummy you are a woman after my own heart, I didn't even put the photos of dd in an album, (dd seen 3 times by grandma this year and only once by grandpa - she didn't even know who he was..)they got an xmas pudding and small gin too

they are now on a cruise until the new year ..

rebelmum - make you feel good eh?!
MIL couldn't come to DS's 1st birthday party as she had a football match! Nice to know they care so much

Devons - Absolutely loving your pressies for MIL! I'd do the same but MIL just likes to unwrap, she doesn't care what's inside so it really wouldn't work!!

mil asked what we'd like when ds was born - we asked for baby monitors.
next time she called she asked again and dh said still the monitors - she said i can't find anywhere that sells them.
MOTHERCARE ARGOS TOYS R US don't sell them.
which translated means the market don't have any.
he got a pair of shoes 9-12mths £2.50....nice

just remembered last years pressie from mil a rose scented bathsalts set - complete with 3 for 2 sticker from tesco.

can I sign in too?

My MIL is obsessed with sales/discount stores. So will give us 10 awful items of clothing from the Ethel Austin sale (total spend £20) rather than one nice top from Gap (total spend £12).

I have even dragged her into Gap/Mothercare/Next and said "I'd love something like that for DD". But to no avail.

Like other posters have said, it's the thought that counts. And she clearly doesn't think.

Well....I dont know what you lot are complaining about!

My DH got nothing for his birthday from his parents this year. They also forgot to get DS a Christening present, although promised one (which has still not appeared - since August).

When MIL went to the trouble of writing DD and DS an individual Christmas card (from her mainstream box) they turned out to be Easter cards

My BIL&SIL have said they are not buying for IL's so dont get them anything, so IL's assume we are doing the same - despite the fact we dont have SIL huge family and if they dont get us anything no one will - even though we have bought them nice thoughtful gifts and are feeding them on Christmas day - even the socks would be appreciated by us

And initially when MIL was planning presents she said each GC (she has 4) would be getting a £20 gift and £30 cash for thier bank - brilliant, at last no mountains of toys and junk. She has now seen the amount my SIL has bought for the children and decided to go mad. At last count DD has a Barbie House (the £30 one in Woolies - not the £99) and she is now eyeiny up a tasty plastic Disney Princess dressing table.

DS on the other hand who got a £7.99 Bob lorry for his 1st birthday last week (that's all - and it fell apart) when DD ot £30 towards her new bike in Sept, has also got to look forward to a complete Bob set as well, and she is looking round unknown shops for more suff for him.

Honestly, in my house socks and underwear and smellies gift sets are the Christmas presents of our dreams

send me your address LowFat I've got enough crap for you to have Xmas every day for a month