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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Additional presents

19 replies

NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 18:54

Need to be a bit vague here or could out myself...

BiL has new gf (been together since summer) she has 3 kids, none of which are his. We have not met any of them and have only met the gf once.

MiL has just told us they are going for Xmas. The oldest (14) said he is only going so he gets presents so off to a great start... Our nephew is also going. We have got him about £100 worth of vouchers and wee parcels to open.
My worry is will I now have to buy for the 3 boys? I would feel bad giving them nothing and will feel bad they have less than our nephew but there's no chance I'm spending an additional £300 I wasn't expecting to make them the same.

I bought Xmas presents early this year and carefully budgeted so I could buy things before I went onto statutory maternity pay as money is now really tight as I expected it would be.

Any ideas as to what I could do? Do I have to bite the bullet and make them the same as our nephew?

OP posts:
Furrydogmum · 13/12/2021 18:56

No! It would be perfectly generous to get them a token body giftset or novelty socks or similar.

Chasingsquirrels · 13/12/2021 18:58

If I was spending Xmas day with someone I'd met once and their kids who I'd never met, and to which I had a tenuous connection (short term relationship with a family member) I'd probably get something nominal, like a selection box, for the children.

Nomoresurprises · 13/12/2021 18:58

How old are they? Does their age range allow for a shared game? And a selection box each.

ChangeChingyChange · 13/12/2021 19:01

@Chasingsquirrels

If I was spending Xmas day with someone I'd met once and their kids who I'd never met, and to which I had a tenuous connection (short term relationship with a family member) I'd probably get something nominal, like a selection box, for the children.
This!
Incywinceyspider · 13/12/2021 19:01

I agree a selection box each would be fine.

Leeds2 · 13/12/2021 19:02

I agree with Chasingsquirrels and would get a selection box. You don't know these boys, and are under no obligation or duty to buy them anything.
Could you maybe agree with your nephew's parents to go to MIL's early, and let him open his presents before the other boys get there? Or deliver it to his home beforehand, so that he can open it before he gets to his grandparents?

BingBongToTheMoon · 13/12/2021 19:02

Selection box/ box of Malteasers, pair of socks.
It’s just a wee minding.

Tal45 · 13/12/2021 19:03

I'd just give your nephew and the other relative their vouchers in advance and just give them some little things on the day to open. Then you can just get a token gift for the other boys.

TurnUpTurnip · 13/12/2021 19:09

Of course you don’t need to
Spend £300 on a strangers children, you would look bonkers if you did!

Original poster
NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 19:12

@Leeds2

I agree with Chasingsquirrels and would get a selection box. You don't know these boys, and are under no obligation or duty to buy them anything. Could you maybe agree with your nephew's parents to go to MIL's early, and let him open his presents before the other boys get there? Or deliver it to his home beforehand, so that he can open it before he gets to his grandparents?
That's a great idea about meeting early, think that would solve a lot of the problem thanks!
OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 19:12

@Furrydogmum

No! It would be perfectly generous to get them a token body giftset or novelty socks or similar.
Lovely thanks
OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 19:12

@Chasingsquirrels

If I was spending Xmas day with someone I'd met once and their kids who I'd never met, and to which I had a tenuous connection (short term relationship with a family member) I'd probably get something nominal, like a selection box, for the children.
I'll go for that
OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 19:13

@Nomoresurprises

How old are they? Does their age range allow for a shared game? And a selection box each.
No there's a big age range so shared game would not work but will get selection boxes as a token
OP posts:
Chely · 13/12/2021 19:16

A selection box is enough imo, just a token gift. If they're still around next year then I'd get a better present then.

StoneofDestiny · 13/12/2021 19:35

If I was spending Xmas day with someone I'd met once and their kids who I'd never met, and to which I had a tenuous connection (short term relationship with a family member) I'd probably get something nominal, like a selection box, for the children

This.

Original poster
NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 19:46

@StoneofDestiny

If I was spending Xmas day with someone I'd met once and their kids who I'd never met, and to which I had a tenuous connection (short term relationship with a family member) I'd probably get something nominal, like a selection box, for the children

This.

Will do this. Just feel guilty our nephew will have more
OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 19:47

@Chely

A selection box is enough imo, just a token gift. If they're still around next year then I'd get a better present then.
I think this is fair too
OP posts:
Buttercup54321 · 13/12/2021 20:06

Your nephew is family. These boys are strangers. Token gift is fine.

Original poster
NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 21:56

@Buttercup54321

Your nephew is family. These boys are strangers. Token gift is fine.
Thanks, just wish we were seeing them separately to avoid all the hassle
OP posts:
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