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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in wanting to send muslim dc to school tomorrow?

56 replies

pukkapatch · 18/12/2007 19:30

because its not as if they will have loads and loads of fun at mil house. no one turns up there till after two anyways. and last day of school tomorrow, so they finish at two anyways.
and they will just wind me up, and get there clothes dirty. and just, because i want them to go to school?

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 18/12/2007 19:32

If school is still open, you'd be unreasonable NOT to send them.

MrsClausinJimmyChoos · 18/12/2007 19:33

Edi Mubarak Pukka

The Prophet (PBUH) put a great emphasis on education, so I think you are doing the right thing....

Is that the justification you were after?

Weegle · 18/12/2007 19:34

send them to school, go straight there after?

MrsClausinJimmyChoos · 18/12/2007 19:34

Eid rather!!

Original poster
pukkapatch · 18/12/2007 19:34

yes!

though im not sure just how much educating they are going to get the last day before christmas!

OP posts:
hatrick · 18/12/2007 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsClausinJimmyChoos · 18/12/2007 19:36
Grin
Original poster
pukkapatch · 18/12/2007 19:37

hatrick, celebration consists of going tomil's house, and eating traditional bengali food with excessive amounts of chilli in it. dc dont particularly like traditonal bengali food.
sometimes there cousins turn up. sometimes they dont. i have to hear all the usual inlaw stuff. its not really much fun.

they are really looking forward to santa claus.

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 20/12/2007 08:13

So you pick and choose which days to send your kids to school, according to how much educating you think they're going to get ? School is also about being part of the (school) community; there is the little matter of the law of the land and the message you are giving to your dc about the importance of school attendance.

littleducks · 20/12/2007 08:37

As its half day send them in if they want to go, we arent doing much as nobody can decide if its today or tomorrow and as mil is on hajj everyone else is working etc and too tired with all the extra stuff happening before xmas..

Elasticwoman, would you always send your kids in on Christmas so they missed family celebrations?

tatt · 20/12/2007 08:44

the kids don't have to miss a family celebration by going to school, thay just go a little later. As most kids aren't all that keen on spending time with relatives unless other children are there going a little late would generally suit them quite well.

At my kids primary school they marked various celebrations - the kids did muslim, jewish and another religion as well as Christian celebrations.

edam · 20/12/2007 08:46

Elastic, Pukka wants to send her kids to school, sounds as if she is under pressure from ILs to keep them off.

Pukka, I'd send them and go to MILs later.

SSStollenzeit · 20/12/2007 08:47

Don't even know what Eid is actually. I tried googling it but for some reason google isn't working on my pc at the moment. Strange.

Anyway I think if you and the dc don't particularly enjoy going to MILs for the celebration, it doesn't make much sense to skip school, does it? Unless of course you are going to have major problems with MIL. You'll have to know how it will go down with her and whether you want to risk her wrath or not. Don't you think she'd accept though that the dc have to go to school as an excuse?

Original poster
pukkapatch · 20/12/2007 11:02

elastic, the law of the land says they are entitled to a day off on Eid day. there is even a special little tick box in teachers attendance registers.
in the end they did take the day off. boys gotup, showered and dressed in new clothes before going off to the mosque to pray. dd was very upset because dh didnt take her. some sort of cultural sexism. i always went tot he mosque for eid prayers until i got married and found out that none of the women in his family did.
they came back home about elevnish, when it was time for presents, and yummy food. kids gorged themselves on all things sugarry sweet. since none of us like traditonal stuff, it was chocolates, and cake, and donuts. and more chocolate!
some friends came over about half twelve. and it was after two before we finally left for mil's house. we spent the rest of the afternoon and evening visiting various realtives. the kids loved it. we were all shattered by the end of the day.
littleduck, thsi is what i cant stand about this country. the muslims cant get their heads together about which day to all celebrate it.

oh, sil sent her kids to school. mil was furious. tbh, i wouldnt be too worried about her ire. but am really pleased that dh also managed to get the day off, and thus was able to take them to the mosque. otherwise, they dont ever get to go.

OP posts:
Original poster
pukkapatch · 20/12/2007 11:04

o, and yes, had a lot of grief and nstiness from other sil's.
i kept my head, and didnt rise to it. [proud of self emoticon]. now i dont have to see them till next eid! well, unless there is a family wedding. which their dont seem to be any in the piping.

OP posts:
themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 20/12/2007 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edam · 20/12/2007 11:07

that's really nasty, leaving dd out. Sod the women in his family, can't you find a decent mosque that you can take her too? Sounds as if you used to have one... I've heard some mosques are crap and don't let women in but there must be ones that do. FFS, are women not counted as Muslims or something?

DaddyJoseph · 20/12/2007 11:07

Stollenzeit - hier

Original poster
pukkapatch · 20/12/2007 11:10

dj, thats in , well, its not in english.

i grew up in saudi arabia. so bit different.
i think next time i might suggest we all go to the one in central london. it will be great fun for all concerned.
i think probly its because its not really a battle that i have bothered fighting before. dd is much younger, and last two eids we were abroad, so the last eid we spent here, i think she was still in nappies, so he wouldnt have taken her anyways. and i used to love being on my own in themorning. but, yes, its a battle thatn now needs to be fought.

OP posts:
Original poster
pukkapatch · 20/12/2007 11:11

sil has always hated me. nver been happy about her precious brother marrying me. so has always said sugar coated nastiness to me, which i used to be too dumb to realise.
i just let it flow over me now.

OP posts:
edam · 20/12/2007 11:12

interesting that Saudi is more liberal in this instance than a local mosque!

malfoy · 20/12/2007 11:12

are non christians allowed days off for special festivals then? I am jewish so interested but children still below school age.

sad about your dh not taking your daughter to the mosque. judaism also tends to favour boys.

Original poster
pukkapatch · 20/12/2007 11:16

well, eid is all about family and community. soif y ou go to the mosque, you meet your community! (and show ff your new aoutfits, and bitch about other peoples bad taste! )
yes, they are allowed a day off for a religious festival. i'm not sure exactly how it is interpretted. if you decided to take every third tuesdayof every month off for a religious fast, then obviously that is unaccepatble. but for festivals that are similar to christmas, you are allowed the day off. so if you celebrate hanukkah, (forgive my ignorance if its the wrong one im saying) then, yes, you should be entitle to the day off.
even many workplaces will assume that employees will be off that day.

OP posts:
PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 20/12/2007 11:17

another ramadan resource

Lots of religions favour boys, despite often not doing so at their inception.

Original poster
pukkapatch · 20/12/2007 11:21

thanks for that peachy.
this eid, , eid ul addha, the day after haj, which commemorates amongst other things, abraham and his sacrifice.

OP posts: