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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We're too polite

46 replies

Lostgirl78 · 13/12/2021 11:51

I went for blood tests this morning. I went to a lab. I'm in France. The guy taking my blood was a bit touchy-feely/flirty. He asked me what I did for a living. I'm a translator. He then said that he needed some translation work doing and so he'd take my number. He picked up my file and typed my number into his phone. I explained that I didn't do medical translation and that I was a literary translator, but he said he'd take it anyway in case he wrote a book.

That's unusual, isn't it? He was being a creep.

And I'm too polite! I wished him a good day and walked out. I'm now wishing I'd said something.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive. Maybe he really does need a translation, but I doubt it.

I wish I had more courage. I'm a raging feminist, but I only talk the talk.

I wish I had the courage to tell men like this to fuck off. It's just that it wasn't quite "bad" enough to do anything about. Do you know what I mean? It was your everyday, mild creepiness.

AIBU? Would you have said something?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/12/2021 14:40

I’d want to report it OP

I’d like to think I’d have said something at the time, but if someone’s about to poke a needle in your arm you don’t necessarily want to argue with them!

Starcaller · 13/12/2021 14:40

Confused Why have so many people posting on this thread not actually read the OP?

OP did not give him her number. He took it from her file himself without her saying anything to suggest it was okay.

At least read the opening post before falling over yourselves to stick the boot in, eh?

JeffThePilot · 13/12/2021 14:42

@threebillboards

Yes we are too polite but I would just have given an incorrect phone number. Never my real one. Surely you had time to process that fact you didn't want to give your number
Why is it so hard to understand what actually happened? What is wrong with the reading comprehension of these posters…
SequinnedShawl · 13/12/2021 14:42

@threebillboards

Yes we are too polite but I would just have given an incorrect phone number. Never my real one. Surely you had time to process that fact you didn't want to give your number
He took the number from her file! Do learn to read, it'll help you when you grow up.
Boomerwang · 13/12/2021 14:44

It's worrying that some posters have rewritten what happened in this way. I certainly hope none of them work in law enforcement or rehabilitation.

krustykittens · 13/12/2021 14:47

Report, OP, and if they dare to ask you why they you didn't kick up more of a fuss at the time you can say you were too shocked at the unprofessional behaviour . He has engaged in predatory behaviour while at work, too right you should complain!

NewMum0305 · 13/12/2021 14:51

Oh that’s awful OP. Don’t worry about what you did or didn’t do in the moment - you still have the opportunity to report him now x

Fluffymule · 13/12/2021 14:55

I hate how female socialisation has embedded behaviours of ‘being nice’, ‘being polite’, ‘not making a fuss’ in so many of us.

Even to the extent that when we know we have had our boundaries violated we get angry, but with ourselves for allowing it, rather than the perpetrator of the aggression.

Transfer the anger @Lostgirl78 That man seriously overstepped personal and professional boundaries (and perhaps legal/GDPR boundaries too).

Report him. Regain some of the power he took and be satisfied you did the right thing for yourself.

Original poster
Lostgirl78 · 13/12/2021 14:59

Right! I'm reporting him. I'll email the lab when I get home. Thank you everyone.

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 13/12/2021 15:04

Complain. He took the number from your file and even if you had said anything he could have just taken it later anyway.

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 13/12/2021 15:11

YANBU. Cheeky bastard.
What are you supposed to say, though. He already HAS the number on file. I suppose "Do not contact me", but doubt he'd listen.
Report it, either now, or, if you like, when he contacts you.

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 13/12/2021 15:12

@threebillboards

Yes we are too polite but I would just have given an incorrect phone number. Never my real one. Surely you had time to process that fact you didn't want to give your number
Surely you had time to process the OP.
SpeckledlyHen · 13/12/2021 15:50

@threebillboards

Yes we are too polite but I would just have given an incorrect phone number. Never my real one. Surely you had time to process that fact you didn't want to give your number
He picked up my file and typed my number into his phone. I explained that I didn't do medical translation and that I was a literary translator, but he said he'd take it anyway in case he wrote a book.

@threebillboards surely you had time to process the OP and read it properly?? Confused

thisplaceisweird · 13/12/2021 15:53

@Boomerwang don't be so dramatic. It wasn't rape was it.

There are shitty people out there, either stand up for yourself and say 'no , don't take my number down' or allow people to shit on you and end up writing about it on a thread.

DingADingADingDong · 13/12/2021 15:58

Glad you are reporting it, he has abused his position of trust, crossed the line and broken the law
I can't think of one reason not to report him

girlmom21 · 13/12/2021 16:00

[quote thisplaceisweird]@Boomerwang don't be so dramatic. It wasn't rape was it.

There are shitty people out there, either stand up for yourself and say 'no , don't take my number down' or allow people to shit on you and end up writing about it on a thread.[/quote]
It wasn't rape this time, but this man has no understanding of boundaries, respect or professionalism so what's to say that isn't what's coming next?

IncompleteSenten · 13/12/2021 16:05

Op says
He wanted my number, I told him I didn't do the sort of work he was on about, he took my number from my medical file anyway.

Reply - he asked for your number and you willingly gave it.

I mean, wtf? In what way is him taking her number from her file after disregarding her answer her willingly giving him her number Confused

IncompleteSenten · 13/12/2021 16:08

@Boomerwang

It's worrying that some posters have rewritten what happened in this way. I certainly hope none of them work in law enforcement or rehabilitation.
Worrying? And then some. It's bloody bonkers is what it is!
lazylinguist · 13/12/2021 16:14

It's worrying that some posters have rewritten what happened in this way.

I don't think it's deliberate tbh. A surprising number of people on here seem to have incredibly poor reading comprehension skills.

Absolutely YANBU for reporting this, OP!

Flobbertybillop · 13/12/2021 16:22

What the fucking fuck? I’d be livid, absolutely complain. How dare he!

Uninterested · 14/12/2021 10:33

Oh bloody hell! I misread the OP! So fair point by the snarky posters 😂. TBF I genuinely don’t have the best reading skills.

Anyway, I still think the OP was a daft not to say anything but I now think she should report it.

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