What makes you confident - honestly

[LifeIsWhat]

What are the things/activities/whatever give you a boost of confident? If we say chocolate makes us happy, what is the equivalent for your confidence? 😊

Sorting out my finances.
Feeling happy in my relationship with DH.
Wearing lovely clothes, make-up and having a good hair day.
Exercise.

A large glass.of wine. I really wish I could find my had a glass of wine personality without it. It just makes it easier to be the real me, the person I'd be without my insecurities. I like that person. Just the one, that takes the edge off my shyness.

@LifeIsWhat

Why? what happened on that trip that life you up? Is it being close to nature, with different people or handle hard situation during travel?

Hmm, I don't want to sound too "gap yah"ish, but yes those things probably all contributed. It was back in 2011 when the recession was still in full swing. I was 21 and had just graduated, couldn't find a graduate job or one that I was even remotely interested in, so was working in a factory on an agency. I felt a bit lost and wanted to work in social care, so applied for a job at a summer camp for children and adults with special needs to get some experience.

I think working with people from different cultures and countries (America, Ireland, Italy, France, Czech Republic, Colombia, India, Australia, New Zealand) helped me to see things differently. The campers were also amazing. The camp was an hours walk from the nearest town, with beautiful countryside around it and we spent most of the day outdoors so plenty of time in nature. The job itself was completely different to anything I'd done before and was very full on, I loved it though and found that I was a lot more capable than I thought I was. Though I'm kind of amazed and horrified at how much responsibility we had now!

I didn't have a phone for the 4 months I was there either. We had a few computers that we could use but we were so busy that we rarely did. Lack of screen time was probably good for the soul!

I also think there was a culture of positivity that rubbed off on me, didn't last forever though . But I had a much more of a "I think I can and so I will make it happen" attitude compared to before I went, when I would just think "I can't do that".

Helping others
Listening to music
Robust knickers

A good night's sleep. After years of broken sleep I know the difference a quality nights sleep makes.

@Rollmopsrule can i ask how you achieved this please?

Sorry OP. mine are music upbeat and aromatherapy oils. Plus comedies to make me laugh out loud

The love of a good man. Corny but true.

Being with my true friends, who call me by my "real" name (long-standing nickname), not the people who know me superficially.

I just feel like myself and a completely different, more intelligent, more glam, more hopeful person when I'm with them. I think it's because I met them when I was younger and more glam and more intelligent and more hopeful.

In terms of inner confidence - mainly the fact that dp thinks I'm great.

Things that help me act confident when I'm not really confident are repeating certain phrases to myself ("no matter how awful this shift is, it will eventually be over" or "we have got through worse things than this" or occasionally "hold it together").

Intelligence
Success in the work place
Family and friends
Looks (shallow I know...)
Money (really helps)

Preparation, experience and research. Knowing I have taken steps to control what is in my power allows me to relax about the elements that aren’t.

I will always have areas where I don’t feel confident but I have learned to utilise the skills I do have to support where I have weaknesses. For instance I am an introvert doing an extroverts job and I know I can struggle in group situations but am great selling my vision in 1 on 1s. I have learnt how to get people on board in the 1 on 1s and how to make allies who will support me getting my message out in group situations because they’ve already bought into the vision and will amplify my voice.

Sleep and the first half of my monthly cycle.

Bootcamp and weightlifting. I get a real kick out of being strong and able to lift heavy things. It gives me a spring in my step.

Losing weight. I need to get back into it, but I did start to feel more confident when I lost a stone.

Money. I am self-employed and feel a surge of confidence whenever I have a good month and can syphon some off for savings or pay for a big cost item without thinking twice.

If my hair's right. A good hair cut is a boost.
Spending mney.
Fit and healthy

*money (not loads but if i want a small treat coffee etc)

gardening helps me feel capable a sense of productive achievement

Oh I love this thread
Placemarkujg to come back
Definitely on a shallow level
Clean teeth, nice hair, perfume
Weight def makes a difference
But as other posters have said
Knowing your shit 💪
(Rather than knowing you're shit 😱)

At work, my expertise. I know that I know my stuff, and I know that anyone unwise enough to challenge me will end up looking very foolish, very quickly, irrespective of how senior or highly qualified they are.

Chutzpah. I’m naturally a sunny, upbeat personality. I’ll give anything a go. I think being open to new situations, and meeting them head-on with good humour, makes it easier to get along.

Confidence, for me, comes from giving it my best shot, and not over-thinking beforehand (I do mull over things afterwards, but I’m not anxious in general). I find talking to strangers very easy.

I also think there was a culture of positivity that rubbed off on me, didn't last forever though

This very much happened to me when I moved to the US as a teen. My confidence skyrocketed. At school in the UK I had been pigeonholed as a very clever, not very sporty, not very pretty kid and it didn’t feel like who I was. In the US I felt I could be anything - it felt like there were so many opportunities at school, people were so upbeat! It was incredibly good for me and although I came back to the UK for uni I never lost that.

I take a bit of time to remember I'm fine. I'm a decent person, I do a decent job. I've nothing to be ashamed of. That helps if I start to spiral - I have a job that is very intense and if I don't stop to calm myself can feel stressed by all the undone tasks (impossible workload, all colleagues in the same boat).

Bring in a routine of exercising well. Looking good and wearing a new outfit I love.

Smiling and (as a PP said) connecting to others - chatting, laughing, listening.

Mostly, a lucky childhood. The kind of childhood where we were free to explore but always had a loving, stable home.

In later years, having education and financial freedom.

Validation I know it's better if it comes from within but being seen means so much.