To not go on this night out or let my partner

[Gravychicken]

A friend booked in a birthday night out the week before Christmas and my partner has a Christmas work drinks booked in too i had decided to join for a few birthday drinks but avoid the clubbing part due to Covid risks. I’ve now decided not to go at all as we are visiting my elderly parents and don’t fancy isolating over Christmas. My partner still wants to go on his night out and is telling me I should still go on mine. What would you do ? As if my partner does get Covid I would still isolate with him as I can’t give it to my family.

@Bells3032

Think people are being very judgemental here. Yeah you can't tell your partner what to do but that's not really the point of this post. She's not wanting to keep him locked up to prevent him from attending.

As a partner you also have the right to say you're uncomfortable with something and it's their choice whether to listen. If your parents are vulnerable then I don't think it's unreasonable to not want to risk either their health or having to isolate over Christmas for the sake of a night out.

And people sayin "oh you can still go and see your elderly parents if he catches it" are just irresponsible and probably the reason its still spreading so much.

I agree. How can it be unreasonable to complain, he expects to go out and then sleep in the same bed and spend Christmas together. Yes he should have a choice but there are consequences too.

How elderly are the parents. I'm in my mid 40s - parents late 70s (would describe them as elderly) ...can't see my DH clubbing...so how old ARE the "elderly" parents or do they have underlying health conditions that would mean they could get very ill in the very unfortunate situation they caught Covid?

If I were the OP I'd try look at all the possibilities and weigh up the risk of things going wrong (ie catch Covid). Covid isn't going anywhere so like flu we will all need to be weighing up the risks to ourselves and others.

YABU for being the kind of person who thinks they can give permission to their partner.

You and your DP could catch Covid anywhere, are you not going to leave your house until Christmas?

Genuine question - do you think clubbing is going to be that much riskier than the drinks beforehand? I know nightclubs have been painted as Covid pits and superspreader hotspots, but will a crowded pub pre-Christmas be that much safer?

That's what I was wondering @onlyreadingneverposting8
I was imagining OP and her partner in their 30s.

You can't stop him going but equally you don't want to risk him getting it and passing it on to you.

If he gets it then he isolates (totally) alone and you should go and stay with your family.

@Gravychicken

Also who would leave there partner alone possibly I’ll on Christmas

I would, he has a choice and he chose clubbing. Not sure if you would feel comfortable visiting your parents if he did get covid, but I certainly wouldn’t be sitting at home with him on Christmas Day.

Yeah no way I can stay anywhere until Christmas and no way I can go to my parents for Christmas if he did get Covid I would be too much of a risk

@Oliveoil26

Yeah no way I can stay anywhere until Christmas and no way I can go to my parents for Christmas if he did get Covid I would be too much of a risk

Name change fail?