Who is BU?

[NowWhatUsernameShallIHave]

Parents separated
DS lives with Parent A and stats with Parent B EOW and some days during school holidays

Parent B pays child support

When child stays with Parent B, Parent B requests that Parent A supply all clothing for when child stays over

Parent A disagrees
Parent B thinks that as a/he is paying for clothes already s/he shouldn’t have to purchase additional clothes

Who is BU?

If you agree with A - YABU

Or agree with parent B - YANBU

Does parent B pay over & above child support or something? I’m guessing not. I know it’s the principle but…
Considering the many threads on here of PP complaining that their Ex keeps their good clothes and sends child back with too small or poor quality clothing, keeping the items they have paid for, it might just be best to keep packing a bag for DS so they take and bring back their clothing.
I’m sure you will have much bigger battles ahead.

I don't think parent a needs to buy anymore, just send enough clothes their child already has to last the weekend

The clothes belong to the child, who is a person and should be able to take them with them between the 2 homes, both parents should consider this rather than bickering over nothing. From a practical point of view it could make sense if parent b had a few basics at their house depending on the age of the child, and should wash the clothes the child arrived in so everything isn’t returned dirty, but I don’t think forcing things to be totally separate makes sense really.

Child support gets reduced for nights spent with the other parent so I would say the EOW parent should have some clothes, pjs etc at their house. The child should be able to feel like it is their home with their stuff in it and not like a nomad who has to take their clothes too and fro all the time.

It seems wasteful to buy extra clothes that are only worn a few days a month.

If parent B provides clothes

Then parents Bs clothes will end up always going back to parents As house

Meaning

Parent A will have to wash the clothes because you don't want your children being sent back to parents Bs with clothes that haven't been washed for over a week or wearing dirty clothes

Parent A should pack a bag to be taken to parent Bs and parent B should make sure all clothes are returned to parent A

I always sent my DC to their other parent with enough clothes to last them for their stay. NRP never bought clothes other than football shirts for DS.

Tbh I don't think I have ever come across anyone doing it much different to this.

Parent B is a petty bloke isn't he? I knew someone whose ex insisted their child only wore clothes he had bought when the child was at his house, as if taking them to the mother's house was somehow stealing them. Ridiculous, petty and childish. They belong to the child.

I’d expect B to have some spare clothes at theirs but if I was A I’d send them with enough for the weekend. Seems to be the simplest way of dealing with it.

Does parent B pay over & above child support

There is no over and above child support. There is just over and above the legal minimum they are obligated to pay. I’m sure the resident parent pays for more than the bare minimum they have to for their child.

Parent B should grow the fuck up and have some clothes at their house for their child.

I don’t think that Parent A is supposed to buy all the stuff for the child just because they’re the ones receiving child support. This payment is just because A has custody for more nights. Of course Parent B still has to contribute to clothing etc.

Parent B pays less child support due to the additional cost of having the child overnight. The additional costs include food and clothing. You wouldn't be expected to send food so why clothing? I know it's petty but clearly parent B is being petty.

I only started being that way once my ex started getting extremely tight with money for the kids. Once he started refusing to pay anything above the minimum CSA and wouldn't pay towards swimming lessons, extortionate nursery bills or winter coats or school uniform I stopped making things easy for him too. I stopped sending nappies, wipes, clothes etc because he is also their parent and should provide items for when they stay their 2nd home. When I'm only receiving £150 a month for 2 children I'm not subbing his time!

The parents should keep it as uncomplicated and normal as possible and stop using their child as a porn in their game
Let the poor child take his/her own clothes
It's not about their point scoring

Parents A & B need to stop being petty and grow up.

stop using their child as a porn in their game

It’s pawn!

Ffs why can't adults just behave like adults. If child wears x and takes y with them, parent b can put them in z to go home and wash x and y. X can be returned and Y can be kept for next time.

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

stop using their child as a porn in their game

It’s pawn!

Lol, I know that but didn't check before posting 🙄😀, just be grateful that 'their' was correct though

Surely it's a mixture of the two options.

Some clothes will travel between houses and some clothes like pyjamas could stay at parent B's house.

CMS child support is the legal minimum and it is to cover costs incurred at the home of the resident parent not the NRP.

So technically RP doesn't provide anything for NRP but you'd hope items such as shoes and coats are shared!