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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The ick

66 replies

hazelnutpraline · 12/12/2021 11:18

Was just watching a thing on TikTok where people were submitting particular things that had given them ‘the ick’ about partners, it was quite funny. The one that comes to mind for me is the time my ex came and sat on the sofa after a bath. He was wearing a dressing gown and was in a bad mood about something. I remember looking across at his long skinny limbs sticking out of the dressing gown and the petulant expression on his face and thinking he looks like an overgrown grumpy toddler. That was it for me, maximum ick and I ended things shortly after. Anyone else?

OP posts:
hardtimeadjusting · 12/12/2021 11:49

@hazelnutpraline I'm sitting in my dressing down probably pulling a similar sulky face after bickering with DH. I might have a shower and sort myself out after reading this 😆

herewegoOVERANDOVERagain · 12/12/2021 11:50

Many years ago, before children, I would wear a thong. Started seeing an Australian guy, all good for a few weeks till at the end of one evening he removed his trousers and he was wearing a thong too 🤮🤮🤮- total ICK! He thought it was sexy that we were both wearing thongs.

I could not have been more relieved when he got on that flight home!

Butchyrestingface · 12/12/2021 11:52

[quote hazelnutpraline]@gannett it wasn’t actually his skinny limbs that were an issue, I did and still do like skinny guys. It’s was the combination of dressing gown, facial expression and his long legs sticking out that all together made me feel a bit repulsed. I think it was mainly the dressing gown actually, not many people look good in them IMO[/quote]
Probably just as well this relationship pre-dated the market penetration of the oodie.

Original poster
hazelnutpraline · 12/12/2021 11:54

@Butchyrestingface I had to google oodies. They look very comfortable! I don’t think I’d be very aroused at the sight of a man wearing one though, you’re right

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 12/12/2021 11:56

Ugh, so many, and I'm not even picky Grin

The man from OLD who proclaimed himself a 'foodie' yet pulled the most awful faces looking at every menu. Eyed every 'unusual' item with suspicion and THEN GOOGLED it right there and then at the table Shock "What is... bul...gur?" - Turkish restaurant - "You do have the option of chips if it's not your thing?" "Hm it doesn't look very nice anyway." Went on constantly about money, how much his friends earned, how he deserved a promotion, when the bill would come always looked uncomfortable etc. Ugh.

Physical things that caused the ick... After a few weeks of dating another man invited me away for a few days. I wouldn't normally so early on but he had a voucher for somewhere to go and it was due to expire with no one else to go with. I was ready to kill him or myself by the time we got back.

When driving on motorways, he had almost a tic where he CONSTANTLY had to pick his nose. Not subtle about it either, twisting his finger round and round for ages. Turned my stomach. I gritted my teeth and actually began counting the seconds between him stopping, putting his hand on the steering wheel, and then compulsively his finger heading straight for his nose again. Never got above 10 seconds Envy

When he asked me to open the sharing bag of crisps he'd brought for us as snacks, put his bogey-ridden paw straight in and rummaged around. He was very confused when I said I didn't fancy any...

In fact I can't say any others because I'm just getting irrationallly annoyed Grin

hardtimeadjusting · 12/12/2021 11:56

@herewegoOVERANDOVERagain That is hilarious 🤣

An Australian accent in a man gives me the ick immediately so I would have escaped the pleasure of seeing his thong. I unfairly assume all Australian men are going to be sexist/misogynistic (this is based on anecdotal experience only)

Butchyrestingface · 12/12/2021 12:00

[quote hazelnutpraline]@Butchyrestingface I had to google oodies. They look very comfortable! I don’t think I’d be very aroused at the sight of a man wearing one though, you’re right[/quote]
They certainly get the job done. I probably wouldn't try to seduce someone wearing one.

GoodnightGrandma · 12/12/2021 12:00

@hardtimeadjusting

Black satin sheets
Eww ! I hope there weren’t spunk stains on them 🥴
hardtimeadjusting · 12/12/2021 12:06

@GoodnightGrandma 😩🤮
If I think about him too much I die a little inside as he was one giant walking red flag who I foolishly dated for a few weeks

Yousexybugger · 12/12/2021 12:35

I'd not met this one, it was on OLD. He was from a town about 20 miles away. He invited me for coffee, offering to come to my town, asking whereabouts I lived.

He made a point of choosing a crappy drive through coffee shop in an out of town retail park on the ring road that would have been hard to get to by public transport so that we would both have to do some of the travelling (I don't drive for medical reasons). Literally the furthest you could get from me in my town. It would have taken him another 10 mins to get into the town centre (plenty of free parking and it wasn't going to be rush hour).

It just felt so petty. He could have suggested meeting
midway and we could have found somewhere nicer and accessible. Gave me the ick so I cancelled.

Myrrhis · 12/12/2021 12:47

This is shameful for many reasons…

Early 20s, first real job, being pursued by an older married man (in his 50s). He was tall and dashing and had thick long dark hair that curled over his collar and twinkly blue eyes. He drove a red sports car and gave the impression of having lived and that he’d really know what to do.

Oh, I was tempted. I fought hard, not wanting to be the Other Woman, - doing that to another, unknown woman is just the most hideous thing ever and no I wasn’t no no no but gosh did I want to…

Until the day he came into my office under some flimsy pretext and leaned against my desk to smoulder at me, and his suit cuff went up and I saw his copper bracelet on his scrawny, hairy, knotted-veiny wrist …

It was like a bucket of cold water. God, you’re just old I thought. A dirty old man. Urgh.

Yeah, so I wish I could say it was entirely the strength of my principles, but really it was just ageist ick. Still. Serves him right. What a pig.

PinkyPromises · 12/12/2021 12:50

Whenever I see these threads I always think of the poster who got the Ick/wouldn't go on a second date...

Because the car he was driving was a massive silver Audi estate (I think) and it made her think of Saddam Hussein. I'm cry laughing as typing this.

I will post my own shortly.

Neuwanda · 12/12/2021 12:52

Was discussing marriage with a partner of 3 years , and he out of the blue told me that my best friend would not be allowed to attend our wedding because best friend was gay. Yuuuck… I realized I had somehow been dating a homophobe. I ended it a few weeks later. Still can’t believe I was with him for so long.

Maddymorphosis · 12/12/2021 12:54

I always get worried that somebody will get the ick with me Blush

But I've had a few, once I had been on a few dates with a guy from school, he lived at home still with his Mum (was 28 at the time I think), took me into his room and it was littered with dirty plates, unmade bed, rubbish everywhere.. he hadn't even made the slightest bit of effort

Negligee · 12/12/2021 12:55

@TedMullins

He turned up to our second date in a grubby hoody emblazoned with his university rugby team logo and mismatched joggers. I should’ve dumped there and then but I overlooked it as he was nice. We both wfh and I have my own place whereas he house shared so he spent a lot of time at mine. He would leave half drunk coffee cups everywhere and sit in the middle of the day working in my lounge with the blinds shut, in the same grubby tracksuit from date 2, with the hood up. Always with the fucking hood up, like a teenage gremlin sat in the gloom. The hood made his head look triangular and emphasised his double chin. The ick truly amplified when I told him off about leaving his coffee cups everywhere and putting a muddy footprint on my rug and he just grimaced at me and didn’t apologise. Dumped him that day.
‘Like a teenage gremlin sat in the gloom’ is an excellent phrase. GrinFlowers
PinkyPromises · 12/12/2021 12:55

Ok here are mine...

One guy who had such bad skin allergies he just scratched all the time. I woke up and saw dead skin all over the sheets. Gross.

One who called me baby girl

And one who always dribbled piss on my toilet and wooden floor so it was really noticeable.

Urgh.

EverythingsComingUpRoses · 12/12/2021 13:04

My ex used to ask me 'is it poorly week?' every time he decided I was in a mood

Negligee · 12/12/2021 13:06

@EverythingsComingUpRoses

My ex used to ask me 'is it poorly week?' every time he decided I was in a mood
I’m glad he’s an ex. I swear my blood pressure spiked even reading this.
Maddymorphosis · 12/12/2021 13:12

There was a man on the train last night who kept sniffling but it was so loud and unpleasant, I don't know why he didn't just blow his nose, I had to put my earphones in as it was giving me the rage

NynaeveSedai · 12/12/2021 13:17

@herewegoOVERANDOVERagain

Many years ago, before children, I would wear a thong. Started seeing an Australian guy, all good for a few weeks till at the end of one evening he removed his trousers and he was wearing a thong too 🤮🤮🤮- total ICK! He thought it was sexy that we were both wearing thongs.

I could not have been more relieved when he got on that flight home!

Oh! I dated a guy who wore a thong and the morning after he put on his thong and sat on my sofa cross legged and referred to them as his come fuck me pants That was the ick for me!
ProudThrilledHappy · 12/12/2021 13:41

@EverythingsComingUpRoses

My ex used to ask me 'is it poorly week?' every time he decided I was in a mood
Omg he would be straight under the patio. How patronising!

My biggest one is that we had just finished doing the deed, sitting up in bed and he noticed a spot on his shoulder and just popped it right there 🤮 probably not a big deal if he’d done it later or in the bathroom, but right in that moment Shock

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 12/12/2021 13:56

I went on a date with a Brazilian guy, he was fucking HOT. He was also really intelligent and good company.

Anyway, we had a kiss, he wanted to shag. I wasn't keen, I was on my period anyway so it was a good excuse not to.

Anyway we kissed again then he whispered in my ear with his strong Brazilian accent

"I don't mind a bit of blood."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I swear the accent made it worse! He ruined his beautiful accent with that awful sentence!

Never saw him again after that.

Cocolapew · 12/12/2021 13:57

He wore red shoes.
Red. Shoes. 🤢

Myrrhis · 12/12/2021 14:26

Lace ups or slip ones? 😂

Lacedwithgrace · 12/12/2021 14:43

I went on a date with a now successful singer who awkwardly jogged from our picnic blanket to his car (first ick) to get his guitar, serenaded me with a shit rendition of wonderwall, then looked to the sky and thanked god for giving him the gift of music. Yuck