The way DP watches films is sooo annoying

[alienbaby]

So I recommended DP watch the power of the dog. Told him it was an intense psychological drama.

So it gets to the point where (keeping this vague to avoid spoilers) she is trying to get the melody, and he subjugates her psychologically. It's a really tense moment and it forms the basis for a shift in the dynamic and what happens next.

Right there, in the 2 minutes that this is unfolding, DP gets off the couch without pressing pause. To go and make a fucking sandwich.

It really pisses me off! Just wondering if it would annoy anyone else or am I just tetchy today 😁

I am like OP. It's annoying because watching together is supposed to be about a shared emotional experience, and clearly he's not feeling the same emotions.

He's not in the wrong for have different (or no) artistic taste, but she's not in the wrong for being upset the person she chose to share such moments with isn't suitable for the job.

@Thatsplentyjack no, you're right. It's hilarious

[quote Sux2Buthen]@Thatsplentyjack no, you're right. It's hilarious [/quote]
Nope

I am guilty of this. I find it really hard to sit still for that long and I'm not very interested in TV. Takes me hours to watch a film

Sounds exactly like my dh who (a) never sits still ever and (b) particularly can't sit still and watch anything "emotional" and distracts himself (and everyone else) with serial sandwich making! Drives me potty!

I curse anyone who thinks its ok to disturb a film and there's a lot more of it these days. Humph.

Is it that you're annoyed because you think you're sharing something with him, but there's no way you'd get up and make a sandwich at that point, and that's what gives you the message that he's not 'in' the experience with you?

@alienbaby

I just walked past and said so did you see the banjo scene? He said no but I get the idea.

Actually you dont...

I didn't get it either. Film was overly long, slow and boring.

Tight psychological thriller? No.
It was pretentious Oscar bait bullshit.

I get where you are coming from but I guess he just isn't as gripped by it as you.

It sometimes exasperates me that DH, and DD, can't seem to just watch something on TV they always have to be playing on their phone or the laptop. I used to think they can't really be paying attention. However they seem to so I say nothing and leave them to it.

Always used to annoy me when I was a child and teenager and we only had one TV, that DM and the neighbour who spent most of her life at ours would decide beforehand whether or not they were going to like a programme. If they weren't keen but I wanted to watch it then it might stay on but they would gab away to each other all the way through so I could hardly hear it and then at the end say "Well that was a load of rubbish I had no idea what was going on"

My husband does this on occasion and it irritates the shit out of me too. Not so much with films, but TV series - Line of Duty and thre like. Generally he making one of the billion cups of tea he consumes daily. It's particularly annoying as I know he'll then pepper me with questions later if he hasn't followed the plot / has missed something important. Or make me rewind. Why not just pause in the first place you buffoon?!!

@NanooCov
I know. And you have to be like "....and then; he looked at her...it was just a second....but there was something in his eyes where you just knew...something bad was going to happen".

I think it's like I want him to be as immersed in it as me, but also, respect the director: they've put their film together this way for a reason so watch it properly or dont.

Omg op my dp does this exact thing. Then comes back and later in the film asks me to explain what he's missed. I tell him to fuck off now.

@DaisyNGO

Is he bored? I was bored watching the trailer.

I'm bored just reading the stuff in the OP.

DP has things that he likes to watch and I find at best, boring and most often, actively unpleasant/intolerable.

He, however, doesn't expect me to sit through them and will usually watch them in the spare room or I'll go upstairs and leave him to the TV.

@NeverDropYourMooncup
Yeah I didnt force him to watch anything I recommend it to him and then 3 days later he put it on all by himself!

My DH has a knack of talking over the conversations the actors are having! I tell him to “shhhhhh!” and he says “it’s ok when you want to talk” but I seem to be able to pick the bits between scenes when nothing much is going on!! Arrrgh

I regularly leave the room if I find the scene upsetting or too intense.. I wait outside until it is over then come back. I rarely do this with films I have chosen as I know the sorts of film I like and can bear to watch but often do it with films DH or DS have chosen.which are often too dark for me. Alternatively I have my blanket and hide behind it while stopping my ears. DH and DS now warn if I will need a blanket for a film they have chosen . There are a couple of folks I've seen several times where I have never seen a few of the more difficult to watch scenes and never plan to , despite often enjoying most of the rest of the film

I might be all of your annoying DHs wrapped into one!
I can't sit through a whole film ever. And nowadays they are so long. At the cinema, most times, I doze off. I find most films unbelievably boring, not challenging and can't stand the hype and I can't think of a single film I'd watch twice.
But I can sit through a play at the theatre and thoroughly enjoy it and I get annoyed if they have an interval. I would happily watch televised theatre plays also. And some foreign Italian and French films from the 40-60s are captivating to me.
My DH is not impressed with my attitude 😁

I cant watch a film for the first time with someone who has already watched it.

They expect you to have exactly the same reactions to scenes, as they did and you can feel their eyes looking at you in anticipation.

And also, 😱 at the poster who thinks Goodfellas is a comedy. It's one of my favourite films and I suppose there are some funny-ish parts in it, but usually intertwined with violence.

Mine does the same, SO bloody annoying.

I do that too. I don't need anyone to stop the film. I didn't realise it was annoying!

Meh I do the same. Sometimes I even play on my phone but I'm still watching/listening. I get what's going on in general, the volume is quite loud so even if i leave the room I can hear what happens, if I think I missed something really important I rewind but that's rare.

If I'm at home watching something for pleasure I want to be comfortable and watch it the way I want to. If you don't like it, go away and wait until it's finished.

I do this, but it's because I can't deal suspense, so I leave the room to go and do something else.

@Sux2Buthen

I had a worse experience recently. I put National Lampoons Christmas Vacation on and my boyfriend had never seen it. He didn't laugh 😑

LTB

I think it’s that when you’re watching a film with someone you’re doing something together. So for the person then to wander off during a pivotal scene they’re obviously not very interested in the movie. If you don’t want to watch it then just say you don’t rather than saying ‘oh I’ll watch it with you’ then not paying attention.

I will say though that I think some people like to just casually watch background movies/tv and some people like to really get immersed in the movie. I have a friend who will suggest going round to hers to watch a movie then will sit browsing her phone while it’s on. I don’t go anymore because it’s a waste of time - I will talk about the movie afterwards and she’ll be like ‘John who - oh was that the uncle?’ It’s annoying.

I'm reminded of my mum trying to make my kids enjoy what she calls 'classic' films with her. It's hard to be feign interest for an entire film.