To be worried about PND

[Mara263]

Just looking for some advice really

My second baby is currently 4 months old and I just feel so miserable. We had a really long and complicated fertility journey with both our children (3yo Boy and baby girl) and this time round I just feel so low. I have OCD anyway which was really bad after my son was born and has gotten really bad again after this baby - I’m currently on a waiting list for extra treatment but they can’t give me a timescale because the waiting lists are so long.

Being a parent of two (compared to just one) is so overwhelming

I feel like I can never get anything done

I still get that pang of sadness when other people announce pregnancies (after miscarriage/infertility it’s still hard to see) and it makes me feel like a horrible person

I quite miss being pregnant - at least then you feel a bit special and “blooming”, now I just feel fat and stressed

This pregnancy was complicated and ended with my daughter being in NICU for three weeks, and I feel really sad about it

I feel like this might be our last pregnancy with all the fertility complications and even though I feel so lucky I still feel really sad to think I might not ever be pregnant again

Anyway sorry for the rant. Has anyone else been through similar? Would love some advice

(And no “just enjoy your baby” - that’s not helpful. Or even that simple. Thanks)

I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. This time of year doesn't help much and with restrictions etc, it's easy to feel gloomy in general, so I can imagine how much tougher that would be for you.

Firstly, try not to be hard on yourself. Self-care, even just one small thing a day, like a 15 min bath or reading a book for half hour or paint nails, whatever is a quick easy treat.

Definitely get to the GP, to get on top of PND/OCD. In the meantime whilst waiting for extra help with OCD, try CBT techniques. There are some great self help cbt books to try.

Congratulations on your new baby, I know it is hard just now but just take 1 day at a time.

My only other tips would be just keep everything else in your life as simple as possible. Now is not the time to have a perfect tidy home or be entertaining family etc. Just focus on your needs and the children.

There are so many other things to say, but I hope this helps a little. I know others will be along with great advice and support too.

Wishing you strength to get through this stage and joy with your family.

I think you should tell your GP everything you have written here and see what they suggest. Good luck x

I have already been to the GP - basically if I’d have gone sooner I could have been seen for more intensive therapy for my OCD quicker.. but you can only be put on the “priority list” if you had a baby in the last three months and my baby is four months. I have previously received treatment so have been trying some of the techniques but nothing beats having someone to check in on you and give you advice every few weeks

I meant to discuss PND x