Friend or Frienemy?

[MrsPetty]

DP & I decided to bring our wedding plans forward from summer next year to February, we are both so excited. I told a friend recently and her response included ‘Wow! What's the rush? I thought it was in August.
Where? When? Etc., I'm surprised to be honest. It is really hard to fathom you are getting married!?! Hope you have a pre-nup for the girls sake….and with regards to him recently being unwell ‘BP plummeted that time, when he became unconscious, most likely from viagra or cialis. Doctors see it happen all the time in the morning...forgot to mention before...’
Not the congratulations I was hoping for. AIBU to tell her to fuck off??? DP and I have been together over four years ….

Four years read the thread

Actually the prenup maybe because she is genuinely worried about your finances, do you have more assets or earn considerably more than he does ?

I have read and reread your message.

If she had real concerns about your girls, inheritance, marriage then I would imagine a friend that actually cared would sit down with you and quietly discuss her worries with you.

Instead she has come out with a nasty spiky comment and seems only annoyed that you are getting married.

I would let her go, and no she would not be welcome in my new married life full stop. I agree with pp.

Either she thinks he is a cocklodger and/or “has an eye for the ladies”, but lacks the courage to come out with it.

Or she’s a jealous bitch.

Consider the following:

Is she generally a good friend?
Do you have significantly more income/assets than your DP?
Does he struggle to hold down a FT job?
Has he ever cheated/exchanged dodgy texts/over flirted with another woman?

If you answer yes to any one of those she might have a point, yes to two or more she almost certainly does

I hope she’s not on the guest list?

Is there a chance she is worried about you.

As others have said, are your finances/assets protected?
Is he much older than you?

Are you not worried about bigomy ?

Hmm - it’s not clear from your post exactly what she said and what the context is. She might just be surprised you’ve moved the wedding forward? She may have reasons for being concerned but doesn’t know how to word it?

Could there be any reason why she might be concerned about your DP?

That said, if people make you feel like shit, they are best avoided

The seemingly random comment about Viagra is bizarre. What an odd thing to put in response to you getting married! I don't think I'd even reply to that verbal diarrhoea to be honest. Do you have any idea that she doesn't like your partner or has concerns about him?

Do you have assets and financial security in place for your children? The viagra comment is weird though.

There's obviously a back story to this, so I googled for other posts using this username.

The OP is divorced from a millionaire and received a generous settlement.
The guy she is about to marry is also a millionaire.

So I don't understand the pre-nup reference. Wouldn't that typically be for financial reasons?

why mention viagra though ? Does she know something you don't op?

The OP is divorced from a millionaire and received a generous settlement.
The guy she is about to marry is also a millionaire.

Oooohhh

@MelonTits ooh indeed!

Ooh! Are you sure he's a millionaire OP?

😂 I’d say we both have equal assets and I trust this man 💯 financially. We’ve been together over four years and he’s been the most amazingly decent, generous DP. He supported me emotionally through the the messiest of divorces. He’s a good guy. She’s met him once in passing. The whole viagra thing is lost on me. He’s ten years older than me, but definitely not in need of pills yet 🤣

@Charley50 I do the accounts for his business. I know his financial worth better than he does 🤣 saying that neither of us are fiscally motivated. We have the things money can’t buy and are grateful every single day.

@Vapeyvapevape his ex wife recently passed away. They were on good terms since they divorced. So no worries there.

@HeyDugeesCakeBadge Pretty much. I’ve set up trusts for DDs and will assess as they get older. DP walked away from a lot when he parted with his ex. He has a really healthy attitude to finances. He’s not greedy and he’s definitely not with me for money.

Is she by any chance single?

If so, she's jealous. Very simple, and maybe thought she'd be married before you for some reason.

@FreedomFaith She is. She never married but has a DS. Messy break up. I wondered if the comment was made because of the relationship acrimony we’ve both experienced in the past. But it felt extreme!

[quote MrsPetty]@FreedomFaith She is. She never married but has a DS. Messy break up. I wondered if the comment was made because of the relationship acrimony we’ve both experienced in the past. But it felt extreme![/quote]
There you go then, she's jealous. Pretty bitchy too, fair enough if she's jealous, doesn't have to show it though.

@MerryMarigold Nope. No blue pills.

@Vapeyvapevape

Are you not worried about bigomy ?

Eh?

She sounds awful, the guest list is one less now!