To sack off Christmas and go to neither parent?

[ChristmasDuvetDay]

My parents split when I was a teenager. I’m a single parent, and so alternate between each parent at Christmas; one year mums/grandparent, next dads.

I also share Christmas with my ExH with our DD and I only have her until lunchtime Christmas Day before she goes to her dads until 27th.

My parents have got into an argument over whether I go to them or the other one. My dads on his own as he was 2 years ago, but it’s mums turn and my GP is nearly 90 so might be our last Christmas together.

Dad cannot go to mums/GPs, they won’t have him. They always argue every year over where I spend Christmas. Despite me being clear I want to alternate.

I can see GP another time so don’t really mind which house I’m at, I see GP most weeks, so WIBU to say no to both parents and have a duvet day?

For context ExH has DD for 27 nights a year only, I work the weekend she’s with ExH so Christmas/Boxing Day are my only guaranteed duvet days. I quite fancy a duvet day.

Also I have a sibling but they don't celebrate Christmas, so not even as if I can send them to one parent as they literally completely ignore the day. They don't give or receive gifts and are invited for dinner by both parents every year and always say they don't celebrate.

YANBU in the slightest. Put yourself first and enjoy a cosy day at home. Treat yourself to some nice Christmas PJ’s, all your favourite food and drink and bunker down. Sounds heavenly!

I would probably pop around d to each of them on Xmas morning. Then duty done go home get back into pj's and under the duvet

Oh good lord. Duvet day for the win.

Just tell them due to their childish arguing they are both in the naughty corner and neither of them is getting a visit.

@Goodfood1

I would probably pop around d to each of them on Xmas morning. Then duty done go home get back into pj's and under the duvet

I only have DD until around 12.30 I am not dragging her away from her toys and presents she's just got to do an hour with each of my parents because she's then not home until 27th, and isn't allowed to take anything from here apart from her tablet and favourite soft toy to her dads and vice versa from there to here.

Honestly, just stay at home. Have a cosy day by yourself. Eat good food, drink good wine (or whatever you drink).

Life is too short for that shit.

Video chat each parent for 10 minutes with your DD. Cook a marvelous breakfast for you both and then later, duvet, films and snacks.

I couldn't deal with that sort of squabbling. If you go to one parent over the other, the best case scenario is that it rewards the childish behaviour of one parent and pisses the other parent off.

Have a lovely duvet day, you deserve it

Tricky.

It’s your mum’s turn and it’s very late to cancel. How upset is she likely to be?

I do think if you want to change expected and long-standing arrangements for Christmas, it should be with much more advance notice than 2 weeks.

I expect there’s a compromise e.g. as @Goodfood1 has suggested for future years.

YADNBU

We had a smiliar ilk in our set up. In the end it was much preferred that we saw the GPs the fortnight before.

We had Christmas and I mean from the 23rd to the 6th at home and with our own traditions. My parents didn't want us dragged away from unwrapping at our leisure and home comfort to be spent travelling to GPs and aunts/uncles who didn't put themselves out for us.

Everyone happy. No fights. No travelling long distances in snow/ice and increased number of drunks on the road.

You do you OP.

@HeddaGarbled

Tricky.

It’s your mum’s turn and it’s very late to cancel. How upset is she likely to be?

I do think if you want to change expected and long-standing arrangements for Christmas, it should be with much more advance notice than 2 weeks.

I expect there’s a compromise e.g. as @Goodfood1 has suggested for future years.

She'd be upset but my cousin is likely to turn up at my GPs with my aunt and uncle so the food wouldn't be wasted. I'd still bring the bit of the meal I was planning to just let them eat it instead.

I'm undecided but I think will go to my mums as planned and then definitely having a duvet day next year.