To move schools? AIBU? Need some advice off mums please

[Unsureforthebest]

Need some advice off other mums as I'm unsure what to do for the best.

Currently have two dc in the same school. My eldest DC is moving in summer term to senior, so I feel this the best time to move my youngest DC after summer term.
Youngest DC has a medical condition with his bowels and his school aren't dealing with it properly. They ring me to change him which isn't an issue as before they left him ALL DAY in dirty pants mutiple times which gave him rashes and was high uncomfortable for him the kids would pick on him calling him smelly for the teacher to say "well he is a bit smelly..." so I told them to ring me to change him.
A few times I've arrived in the afternoon and they've told me he's been running back and forth to the toilet all day very uncomfortable and unhappy and they never bothered to ring me to collect him.
I took him home one afternoon as I was horrified he was so unwell and they had left him like that all day. Now when they ring me they tell me to come in change him quick but im not allowed to take him home even if he's in pain as he's missing to much school. (He's had roughly 7 days off this term but with good reason!) they don't have a care plan in place for him despite me asking them several times for one and no school nurse involved. That's problem one.
Problem two for a few weeks he was refusing to do work, and they didn't inform me for nearly a entire month when if they had told me immediately I could of spoken to him and sorted it. Soon as I found out his behaviour immediately improved as I spoke to him and solved the issues.
Before they've tried to push down my throat that he has autism when he clearly does not (no I'm not in denial he's NT)
And lots of other little problems that mount up.

AIBU to change his school? Im sick of sending him in and worrying all day about him. what would you ladies (or men) do?

I would move schools if you are not happy as they don’t sound like they are meeting his needs. I have moved my child schools twice and never regretted it.

Is he hypermobile?

I would move him and definitely make a formal complaint. Poor little thing.

Ok so I can see both sides. You need to apply for an echp. I don't know any school that could manage a bowel condition with you sons needs without a designated 1:1 adult support - which would be funded by echp.

Most years of my children's primary classes only have a teacher and they wouldn't be able to leave classroom each time your son needed cleaned or changed. Not fair and not how it should be but most schools have been stripped of resources.

If he has a medical need for assistance

I'd move his school, OP. You relationship with his current school is breaking down and you're only going to get more frustrated with them as time goes on. Regardless of what conditions he has, he has a right to an education and school need to make adjustments to accommodate his needs.

In the meantime, tell school that you want a meeting with the SENCO. Your DS has an identified physical difficulty which impacts his ability to access education, he should be on the SEN register at school and school should agree a support plan with you - this should cover what support he needs with his personal care and toileting, how that support will be provided, and who will provide it. They have a legal obligation to provide SEN support.

When you look at it her schools, ask specifically about SEN provision and how they would propose to meet his needs.

An EHCP can take a long time to get in place, it can take more or less an entire school year by the time its settled. Going on the SEN register is the interim step needed, school vet funding fir SEN pupils and this would go towards any costs associated with supporting him.

The school really must support his needs
www.gov.uk/government/publications/supporting-pupils-at-school-with-medical-conditions--3