To ask about the worst ingredient substitution you've had the misfortune to taste?

[BackInBits]

I've come across a few.

My brother made a roast lamb and had no red currant jelly. Strawberry jam it was.

I've an aunt who put sour cream in the trifle. Not quite as bad as Rachel and the beef, but it did not work well.

I've an ex who was making chickpea patties that called for cumin, turmeric and coriander. In case you were wondering, oregano does not make up for a lack of cumin.

@Peanutmnm

Fucking brown bread in the stuffing🤮

This wasn't an American recipe was it? US stuffing often includes chunks of (slightly stale) bread...

I remember my mum making lasagne once with cottage cheese. No idea why. Absolutely rank.

My boyfriend at uni made spag bol and put oats in it to 'bulk it out'.

Beef porridge. Disgusting

I was making a prawn risotto and realised I had no wine. Used the dregs of a coconut rum thing we had left over from a party. Absolutely disastrous, like fishy rice pudding.

Fish stock in place of coffee, I wasn't the one to eat the subsequent dessert

Didn't cross my mind at the time but typing that I felt about shellfish allergies.

Some stupid CrossFit / high protein diet.
"Mix strawberry protein powder with Greek yoghurt and freeze. A delicious, healthy alternative to ice cream."

They were chatting shit.

It's actually ok unfrozen and yogurty.

Accidentally doused my porridge in bbq seasoning instead of cinnamon.

Beef porridge. Disgusting

That’s grim but made me laugh.

I feel quite lucky that I haven’t accidentally had a disaster like this yet

@SpeckyWithTheGoodHair

My boyfriend at uni made spag bol and put oats in it to 'bulk it out'.

Beef porridge. Disgusting

This works if you use a handful of oats and an extra finely chopped onion. You can get an extra portion out, but you don't add the oats until 1 min before the end and to a whole pan full of bolognese, not a 2 person portion!

@Siameasy

I remember my mum making lasagne once with cottage cheese. No idea why. Absolutely rank.

We like this one as well! One layer of fried mushrooms mixed with cottage cheese and loads of pepper.

Margarine instead of butter. Absolutely disgusting.

My husband was making bolognese and absent mindedly poured in the bottle of irn bru he was drinking rather than a bit of the wine I'd left out for him. It had a very strange aftertaste.

My Dad got quite culinary in his later years- he once made a carrot cake which was supposed to have a soft cheese icing/topping. He went to Lidl and bought French soft cheese (instead of a philadelphia type ). He still persevered with the recipe and put it in the blender with orange zest and icing sugar! Safe to say carrot cake with orangey camembert was not hugely popular

My ex (at the beginning when I hadn't realised he really had no idea how to cook) used mixed spice in the Bolognese sauce instead of mixed herbs. Not nice at all!

Not as bad as some of these, but was making a lovely cheese risotto. Realised I'd run out of the arborio rice, so substituted it with ancient, brown basmati rice I found at the back of my cupboard.
The risotto was ...interesting and crunchy.

In Scotland any meal of the day is regularly substituted for ‘shite wie sugar on it’

Say this saying in Wales to. At least my mam did.

I was once given carrots instead of asparagus on a pizza. Service had been really slow and I was starving, so I didn't say anything in case they took my pizza away and I had to wait even longer for my food.

They were cut up nicely and didn't actually taste that bad or wrong on a mixed vegetable pizza, but I was a bit miffed because they'd substituted one of the most expensive vegetables you can buy for probably the cheapest.

I once put soy sauce in my stew instead of worcestershire sauce. It did not require any further seasoning, lets say that.

17yo ds likes steak. It's his go-to thing to cook for himself if I'm out for the evening or can't be bothered cooking, which is fine. We're overseas with a delivery culture, so he can just use an app & have any ingredients he wants dropped off within the hour. Bonus is he gets the rest of the weekly grocery shop whilst he's at it, so one less job for me...

He likes the way I cooked steak once with garlic butter, but can't be arsed to chop garlic apparently. No problem. I explained to him that lazy garlic in jars exists.

On one occasion he discovered that the jar of garlic had run out. There was a whole bloody string of fresh garlic because I use it most days & I can be bothered to chop it up, but nope.

He fried his steak in hummus because there was some lurking in the fridge & 'well it's garlicky...'. Beetroot hummus.

Apparently - according to his gleeful sisters who had made themselves a nice vegetarian pasta dish - he ended up with 'sort of fluorescent pink bleeding zombie flesh'.

He says it actually tasted quite nice, but oddly, he hasn't made it again.

Uncle was a terrible cook and made a beef stew which he the added in a can of peaches in syrup. Bleeeuurgh!!! I think he was going for a tagine type thing!

@OhGiveUp

Margarine instead of butter. Absolutely disgusting.

I agree, and there's a special place in hell for people who call all spreads 'butter' especially when questioned about whether the muck they are transferring from the giant white tub behind the counter onto my crumpets in a cafe is real actual butter and not margarine.

When I'm in charge anyone who does that will be banned for life from operating any sort of food service establishment. I'm not joking.

They can't even claim it's a cost issue, because it would be cheaper to add a thin spread of butter than the great wedge of margarine that most places use. Really puts me off eating out anywhere I don't know, because I have to ask every time and many people simply don't get it. .

@Lily019

My son, aged about 20,fancied himself as a bit of a budding chef cos he worked in a restaurant kitchen. Making spaghetti bolognaise he decided the tomato sauce was too acidic so added copious amounts of honey to resolve the issue. Possibly the most puke inducing meal I've ever had.

@Lily019 a little bit of honey in a tomato sauce is really nice but it has to be just enough.

Went for a full English breakfast about fifteen years ago in a local cafe.

I'm one of those pesky vegetarians and they didn't have a veggie breakfast as such, I said I'd have a standard fry up without sausage or bacon.

They seemed to feel the plate of eggs, mushrooms, beans and toast was inadequate so added sliced fried cucumber to the plate.

In the spirit of "can't complain unless you try it first" I sampled it.

Would not recommend.

Did he mean to use evap? That's pretty common in a BIR curry @HangingOver

My DH has just reminded me of the time he made "coffee" for the piano tuner. I should explain that nobody in our family drinks coffee, so we just have one small jar of instant in the cupboard for guests. I now keep it in a different cupboard to the chicken gravy granules which I am forced to agree, do come in a remarkably similar jar.