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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset that my childminder doesn't inform me when my son has an injury?

16 replies

teaandchocolate1 · 09/12/2021 21:41

I really need to know whether I'm being unreasonable or not. He's my first child so I don't know if this is normal practice with childminders/nurseries.

My son (16 months) had an injury 3 times now. The first time we got told about what happened a day later because she said she forgot to press "send" in WhatsApp.

My son was playing with blocks and he fell and bruised himself next to his eye when he was falling.

The second time, which was yesterday, he had another little bruise and scratch next to his eye. I WhatsApped my child owner asking what happened and she said that he was pulling on one side of a toy while another child pulled on the other side. My son pulled harder, the other child let go and my son smacked himself in the face with the toy. She said she wanted to tell me but couldn't because she didn't see me at pickup (they work as a team of 2).

Today when I came home I noticed a significant scratch on my son's nose. I texted her again asking what happened and she just responded "he keeps trying to take toys off other children xx".

I don't blame them that children will get scratches, little children will obviously fall and have scuffles with other children and get bumps and bruises.

I guess I'm just unhappy that now for the third time they haven't informed me and that I had to chase them for information to see what happened?

Is it reasonable for me to fell this way or is it normal for childminders/nurseries not to inform you when your child has a little accident?

OP posts:

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 09/12/2021 21:47

Does your childminder not have a handover book of some sort? Surely if so she should put these things in there. Theyre not significant injuries but useful to know about. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt if she's otherwise a good childminder.

I always tell our childminder of injuries in case she worries my dd did it in her care. I'd expect her to do the same for similar reasons.

NuffSaidSam · 09/12/2021 21:51

YANBU

What's her Ofsted rating?

This is quite basic and something she should be doing as a matter of course.

Original poster

teaandchocolate1 · 09/12/2021 22:11

I'm not sure what their ofsted rating is at the moment. My son is very comfortable there and I can tell he likes going there. Lots of other parents use them as well.

Im just upset that they won't send me a quick text explaining what happened. If my son came with bruising to them and they were suspicious, I'm sure they would report us to social services and police.

That's why I don't understand why they just don't have an open dialogue when something happens at their place, no matter how minor.

I wouldn't even blame them, I just want to be informed and kept in the loop.

OP posts:

Tabbacus · 09/12/2021 22:13

I'd just reiterate that you want to know. Ours will tell us if he's really upset, but usually it's when we pickup she will show us the accident book (most should be recorded in there bar really minor day to day toddler things!).

Original poster

teaandchocolate1 · 09/12/2021 22:16

That was the scratch next to his eye yesterday and the scratch on his nose today.

OP posts:

Tabbacus · 09/12/2021 22:17

Ah bless him, lucky the scratch by the eye wasn't in his eye! I'd just talk to her honestly, don't have to be critical or whatever but say what you're comfortable with.

Thegreencup · 09/12/2021 22:23

My CM filled out an accident form everytime they had a mark. She would explain to us what had happened and we had to sign it to confirm she had told us. She always said she was legally required to do it.

I'd expect someone to mention it at pickup. Regardless of how busy they are.

I'd be cautious of things not been discussed at pick up or being done via text message. We previously used a CM who was absolutely rubbish, wouldn't say a word at pickup and would then send a huge rant over text message about how terrible my DS had been . We parted ways very quickly.

Rainartist · 09/12/2021 22:31

I would expect to be told at pick up, not texted/rung for minor injuries like those. Serious injury that required further attention from Dr then yes phonecall, probably to collect them and take them asap.

Wouldn't you ask seeing those at pick up?

Original poster

teaandchocolate1 · 09/12/2021 22:36

@Rainartist

I don't see them at pickup. Because of covid I'm only allowed to pick him up at the doorstep. So I'm outside in the dark. The door is open and I can see him standing there in the light while the childminder puts his coat on, but these little bumps and scratches you can only see when you stand directly in front of him in the light.

OP posts:

Glentheredbeakbattleostrich · 09/12/2021 22:40

Any injury which leaves a mark should have an accident form. It's basic safeguarding.

I usually deal with whatever has happened and then send a quick message (usually xxx has a bump on nose, got it fighting over the gin with little jonny type of thing).

How long has she been minding?

Original poster

teaandchocolate1 · 09/12/2021 22:43

@Glentheredbeakbattleostrich

Any injury which leaves a mark should have an accident form. It's basic safeguarding.

I usually deal with whatever has happened and then send a quick message (usually xxx has a bump on nose, got it fighting over the gin with little jonny type of thing).

How long has she been minding?

They (they are two sister in laws) have been childminding for 9 years I think

OP posts:

junebirthdaygirl · 10/12/2021 02:29

In our Primary we always tell parents why a child has a mark especially on the face. We also write it in the Accident book and send home a copy signed by the person who was in charge at the time eg on yard duty etc. I think it's bad she didn't mention that one on his eye as its going to be the first thing a parent sees once they are in the light. The obvious thing would be for her to say it to you at pick up unless all the parents arrive at the same time and she gets distracted. To be honest if we had a parent who questioned two injuries we would make dam sure we highlighted the next one before she had a chance to question us again. So she is acting a bit careless.

Boofay · 10/12/2021 04:24

Childminder here.
Every accident you've mentioned in your op should have had an accident form to go with it. This should have detailed exactly what had happened, the injuries sustained and the first aid performed. It should be signed, witness signatures too if any were present and details on how you were informed of the accident. A copy should have been given to you and the original kept on your son's file (any accident form should be kept for 21 years and 3 months).

From the sounds of things, your cm isn't following this procedure properly.

Driposaurus · 10/12/2021 04:36

Nursery user here, who would be very surprised if my child had a visible mark without immediate explanation. I also get a phone call for any head injury - typically “they were crawling round pretending to be bears and then bumped into each other”. And, if my child goes in with a visible mark and I don’t mention it at handover (and even if I do), I fill in an “accident at home” form.

Safeguarding. It’s one of the ways we spot patterns of abuse but (less alarmingly, trends in a child’s behaviour.

RedWingBoots · 10/12/2021 04:57

Myself and DP pick our DD up from both the doorstep of CM and nursery.

They both tell us what she has been up to including any minor injuries. (Likewise we tell them similarly.)

The CM also tells us if DD has been whacking and then got scratched by one of the other mindees as she knows we won't freak out. Plus DD, who talks a lot, will tell us she was whacked/scratched by another mindee trying to blame them or was "fighting" with them over toys.

I suggest you find another childminder, move your child and report this current one to OFSTED.

NuffSaidSam · 10/12/2021 09:01

@teaandchocolate1

I'm not sure what their ofsted rating is at the moment. My son is very comfortable there and I can tell he likes going there. Lots of other parents use them as well.

That's why I don't understand why they just don't have an open dialogue when something happens at their place, no matter how minor.

I wouldn't even blame them, I just want to be informed and kept in the loop.

I would have a look at their Ofsted report. You can Google it, it shouldn't be difficult. Ofsted is far from everything, but if I were you I would want to know if this is one in a line of safeguarding failures or whether it's just this issue. The problem is children can have fun and be loved, but still be in an environment that isn't safe.

Also, these are injuries you can see, but what if he hits his head and doesn't have an obvious scratch/bump, you don't know to ask and he has concussion or worse? You need to be told about accidents.

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