Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to know why??

27 replies

mustsleep · 18/12/2007 10:46

ok this was like 7 years ago so i may be being petty but...

this was one of my closest friends at high school and i miss her sometimes and just want to know why we lost touch

we were really tight and then she moved away but we made an effort to stay in touch and would meet up etc, and then i was getting married so i invited her obv and plus one and she was going to come then on the night before the wedding she text me to say that she couldn;t come because her mum was in the hospital

i obv said never mind and i hoped that she would get well soon etc, anyway after the wedding at the night do my sister saw her brother working behind the bar in a club and asked after their mum and he said that she wasn't sick!!

she found out that i knew that she had lied and the basically never spoke to me after that!

do you think it is wrong now that we are back in touch through facebook if i ask her is there was a reason why?
just find it strange that she would just drop me for no reason or should i just leave well alone?

OP posts:
RubySlippedonastraymincepie · 18/12/2007 10:47

IMO just leave it be

you may not get a "nice" answer, and it was a long time ago

ElfPolarBear · 18/12/2007 10:47

I personally would, it would drive me mad not knowing!
My bet is that she had a better offer, couldn't make the effort to come to your wedding and then felt embarrassed and guilty so didn't speak to yuo for that reason.

MotherFunk · 18/12/2007 10:52

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 10:53

i know rubyslippedonamincepie (thats a mouthful) that's why i haven;t yet brought it up i don;t think it can be that bad though as i just don't

i think i am going to ask her at the end of the day if she gets all offended we arent exactly bff's anymore so i'm not gonna lose anything

how do you think i should broach it?

OP posts:
DoesntChristmasDragOn · 18/12/2007 10:55

It was 7 years ago. Leave it, it doesn't matter anymore.

RubySlippedonastraymincepie · 18/12/2007 10:56

you can call me ruby

if you are determined to broach it then do it very casually in a "sorry we lost touch all those years ago" type of way

Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 10:56

i've just done it anyway would rather know or i'll just keep on inventing different things in my head

now i wonder if she'll reply or just ignore me?

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 18/12/2007 10:57

Message withdrawn

MotherFunk · 18/12/2007 10:58

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 10:59

yeah, i've just said something along the lines of i can;t believe we lost touch etc how did that happen type of thing

it's prob just stubborness i think i didn't mak much of an effort to contact her and she prob didn't want to contact me just want her to know that i think it's a bit sad that's all

OP posts:
SelfishMrsClaus · 18/12/2007 10:59

How did you word it?

I think I would sk her how her mum is now....

Did you let her know your sister spoke to her brother & you know their mum wasn't ill?

Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 11:13

my sister in her drunkened state said to her brother that to let her know that the wedding went well even though she couldn;t be bothered to turn up, so i think that chances are that she knew about it

i'm not really bothered now about the her not coming just why she didn;t get in touch after

OP posts:
Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 11:14

although i still want to know why she didn't come morbib curiousity i suppose, i've put in my email that i'm not bothered about her not coming anymore but sort of by the way why not?

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 18/12/2007 11:15

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 11:17

but she should have felt bad, but she know's that i would've accepted her apology and stayed friends cos life's just too short

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 18/12/2007 11:21

Message withdrawn

soopermum1 · 18/12/2007 11:23

i have had a very similar situation. i chose to leave it, was long ago, we're very different and what was relevant then isn't relevant now. we're becoming good friends again

who made initial contact on facebook, you or her?

Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 11:44

well i looked for her couldn;t find her, but her brother was on so i messged him to tell her to call me and then she added me toher friends list so i suppose it was both of us

OP posts:
Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 11:45

sorry that is to say that even though i had searched her name our year at school it looked as though she wasn't on but she really was must have been some sort of glitch i don;t know

OP posts:
sb6699 · 18/12/2007 11:50

If you were really close, you are not being unreasonable to ask her why she didn't come to your wedding and lied about the reason why - but maybe she did have a genuine predicament (shortage of cash, that kind of thing).

Her brother has obviously passed along your sister message and she was probably embaressed to face you which is why she didn't get in touch.

I would broach in a friendly manner such as "it doesn't matter now but.........."

Original poster
mustsleep · 18/12/2007 13:30

well it's look slike i shouldnt have bothered as she has been online for an hour now and hasn;t replied yet, unless she's gonna get back to later

OP posts:
bethoo · 18/12/2007 13:37

poke her (on fb that is!)

NAB3littlemonkeys · 18/12/2007 13:40

You have gone 7 years without her so you have nothing to loose really and I think it will always bug you.

My BF at school and I lost touch, neither of us can work out why, and it took her ages to find me and now we are very friendly again.

NAB3littlemonkeys · 18/12/2007 13:40

lose

bethoo · 18/12/2007 13:41

i could not get on fb an hour ago, something about maintaneance on it!!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread