ADHD - to medicate or not to medicate?

[TheWinterChild]

DS has been diagnosed with combined ADHD and autism. The autism doesn’t really affect his day to day life with the strategies that we have in place so I’m not concerned about that too much. However, he really struggles with the ADHD side. He has none of the extreme behaviour, doesn’t really get frustrated or anything like that so in many respects it’s manageable, however he literally cannot focus on anything. He has 1:1 support in school for no other reason than to keep reminding him what he’s supposed to be doing because he is so easily distracted. He can’t sit and watch anything on TV or play on an iPad. He can’t even play with his toys because as soon as he gets them out he’s had enough and wants to move on to the next thing. From the outside it looks completely exhausting (I’m not going to lie, I’M exhausted by it as well as him) and it’s debilitating. He can’t access any out of school activities that he wants to do because, despite being desperate to do them, once he’s there he’s bored and wants to come home, and doesn’t pay attention to what he’s supposed to be doing. Paediatrician thinks behaviour support will not be useful because it’s not his behaviour that’s the issue (he doesn’t have extreme moods, tantrums, he’s not even disobedient, if anything he is overly compliant, but he’s just on his own planet). We have been offered medication, but I’m worried for 2 reasons:

1. This is my child and this is who he is. If I accept medication for him I feel like I’m saying he’s not good enough. He is! But it’s so hard watching him go through life like this.
2. I’m worried about what the medication will do to him. Is it going to change his personality? I love the bones of him, he’s the sweetest, funniest little character and I don’t want that to change. It’s so hard to decide what to do. Can anyone give me some real life anecdotes and help me make the decision? He’s 6 by the way. Thank you!

I’ve got to say I’m pleasantly surprised at the number of people responding saying it’s the best thing ever. I was expecting much more cautious responses along the lines of people being really badly affected by the medication and awful side effects, but it sounds like most people who take it just feel relief! That’s really great and I’m so happy for all of you and your kids that we live in an age where it’s possible to easily treat things such as this. I think you’ve made my mind up for me, we’ll give it a go and see how we get on.

OP there's a Facebook group called autism Inclusivity where many adults are autistic and have adhd. I think it would be good to ask them what they think and how the mess work for them. I joined as my little boy is autistic

If school are supportive and he’s struggling I’d give meds a go. Also look at interoception and the sensory side of things (also proprioceotion). Interoception difficulties can make it difficult to know when you are full or hungry/thirsty can be difficult to register pain.

Thanks for the info, previous posters, on referrals. Sigh. More expense. I've spent £5k on this so far (diagnosis, various therapies). What a rubbish system!

Hi - it's so good to read about all the positive medication stories. DC13 has just kicked off Medikinet 5mg X 2 in week 1 & 10mg X 2 now. I can't seem to see much difference, while I am reading about a lot of experiences where you could see the difference from wk1. We were really hoping this would help DC as they have hit a real low with not being able to do things right& focus. I understand this varies by person but wondering if it takes time for some (though given these are in/out meds not sure) or the dosage isn't enough? Any inputs based on similar experience would be appreciated!
Thanks