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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect a health professional ie the GP to actually see my dad in the flesh??

57 replies

jimmychoose · 09/12/2021 10:13

I am just, only just, holding back from phoning my parents health centre and going absolutely tonto at them so I think i need a rant first to get some perspective as maybe I AM being unreasonable here. Will try to keep brief,.

My dad has several chronic illnesses and has had mobility problems for years but got around between a wheelchair and his own very slow shuffle on his feet for years.

Since Feb this has quickly declined and we had to get carers in as he was less able to get around the house. My mum although generally healthy had her arm amputated three years ago and is still adapting/recovering from this herself.

About 10 days ago my dad fell out of his wheelchair while my mum was out shopping and was on the floor in the kitchen (it’s an old farm house quite cold stone floor) for at least an hour.

My mum got help from the falls team and it just so happened the physio who has been helping once a week turned up at the same time. They discovered my dad was now unable to bear any weight at all on his legs and so cannot be moved from wheelchair to stairlift or wheelchair to bed for example. He said my dad was to be put in bed and kept there until he was able to get hold of a hoist system. My dad has been in bed since, lying very awkwardly unable to move or turn himself. He’s also doubly incontinent and has been for a long time.

My mum tried to phone GP for two days and could not get through, contstantly engaged. Physio thought maybe a UTI as dad also very weak and disorientated. About 3 weeks ago conversation with GP was a district niurse would come out to give my dad his Covid booster + flu. This has never happened.

So physio has been brilliant phoning to check mum said can’t get through to GP, so physio contacted GP himself and lo and behold GP phones mum yesterday.

Cue a conversation of “oh dear, that’s a shame, uh huh, i see, yes… well that;s just old age I’m afraid, no there’s nothing we can do about it… that’s just the march of time…” all this type of bollocks?????

My mum then said although he can’t move himself he’s having trouble sleeping and in the morning she finds him halfway out the bed with the covers all over the place - what about sleeping pills? GP response - oph yes no problem you can have sleeping pills i’’l get that sorted for you.,..

Is that not utterly mental?? This is a random GP who has never met my dad or my mum, is just taking my mum’s word for all this, has not seen my dad in the flesh to confirm his condirtion or state of mind, but is handing out sleeping pills to a third party to give to my dad?

However my in laws are NHS people mostly retired and all appalled are saying because he is bed bound he should be instantly prioritised for a district nurse assessment? Is this correct? I am so angry this GP has basically dismissed my mum, not been remotely concerned to even ask to speak to my dad never mind arrange to see him or send someone else out to see him, and lastly to just prescribe sleeping pills like candy???

This is not the first time we’ve spoken to the GPs at this practice to try and get help for my dad this year, it’s been different GPs but the same response every time. Also takes 2 weeks to get a phone appointment.

He’s been a patient at the practice for 40 years.

The person who has helped most is the physio who arranged a incontience nurse to see him and a dietician too - he’s 8 stone and lying bent up in bed like a stone statue and apparently there’s nothing that can be done????

OP posts:
Munchyseeds · 10/12/2021 09:38

As many others have said....he needs to go to hospital so they can get to the bottom of all this, treat anything that can be treated and ensure that the correct care package is in place
If falls team are being called twice weekly there is something wrong and he needed to be reassessed some time ago

Kevinthesnipe · 10/12/2021 10:02

I’m a district nurse. In our area we have no access to covid or flu jabs. These have been given by community pharmacies, practice nurses or the local hubs so please check that with the practice as the GP may have been mistaken.

Again as others said if I found a patient on the floor after loosing strength I would have to phone an ambulance and I certainly wouldn’t be moving him unless he was assessed by a medic.

Is his b12 injection now due? Was the referral done once your dad became housebound? If so it might have been rejected by the nurses. So by all means chase that up.

If he has carers they will be assessing the skin on every visit, if the physio/ot have assessed for equipment there wouldn’t be anything for a district nurse to do surrounding them issues.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 10/12/2021 10:15

That's an appalling response, even if it is true the GP can't help they should be referring to or telling your mum where to go for the supports he needs. I don't know about the UK, but where I live a GP can't prescribe medication over the phone unless they or someone at the same clinic have seen that person face to face, in the last 12 months. Even then, something material had changed here and they're not even talking to the patient themselves, feels really unethical for them to be prescribing medication this way.

Floralnomad · 10/12/2021 10:27

@jimmychoose he needs proper medical assessment in a hospital but that doesn’t detract from the fact that the GP should be coming out to see him and then refer him onto the hospital . Call the practice today and insist on a home visit .

Bagamoyo1 · 10/12/2021 10:30

Unable to weight bear after a fall means he needs to go to A&E.

ShakeTheDisease · 10/12/2021 10:38

For all the posts saying 'the GP can't do anything, he needs to be checked over in hospital' - but the GP could refer him to A&E and let them know he's coming and why they want him seen? My GP has done this for me more than once.

It's still a poor response from the GP, even before the 'march of time' nonsense.

GotToGoBye · 10/12/2021 10:48

Ring the surgery and ask for a call about a home visit. It might be next week now. Can you send a urine sample in the meantime?

Also he does need a district nurse referral for pressure sore/skin assessment and his B12 injection but I don’t know how that works in your area.

Sleeping tablets increase risk of falls but if he is mostly in bed then getting some sleep might be a kindness.

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