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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My partner did not get the job he applied for

35 replies

PedestalFan · 09/12/2021 07:33

and prepared really hard for. And I am absolutely crushed for him. But I cannot show it.

I feel so bad for him. :(

OP posts:
AdmiralCain · 09/12/2021 10:04

I know this sounds blurgh but it truly is better to fail at something you really want rather than to succeed at something you never wanted.

NotMyselfWithoutCoffee · 09/12/2021 10:23

I know how you feel my dh was in this situation a few months ago, it was crushing.
I felt so sad for him because I knew he would take it personally and be gutted as he worked at the same place for 5 years and had applied twice, he really wanted the job.

We were lucky though they had another role open up a couple months later and he got that one.. Try to tell him how much you are proud of him, maybe treat him to a takeaway or nice meal.
My dh didn't like being reminded of it after a day as it just made him feel disappointed, so we tried to just get on with things but I told him he did really well right after and I loved him regardless.

StellaGibson118 · 09/12/2021 10:39

It's ok to say you're disappointed for him and comfort him. He will need that from you.

As it not something he can try again for? As he would have a pretty good chance of getting it if he tries again, if it was just between him and one other person.

slaybell · 09/12/2021 11:33

I've been here serve all times the last few months. Even more frustrating when you pass all the stages but someone else is just that bit stronger (I'm not on 4 different reserve lists for this reason). Is he on a reserve list? Or was it a straight rejection?

It sucks OP but he will be more crushed than you are, just show him you are disappointed for him NOT with him xx

slaybell · 09/12/2021 11:33

Several* not serve all

Original poster
PedestalFan · 20/10/2022 21:36

Just to update that he got a job from an even better company!

OP posts:
Original poster
PedestalFan · 20/10/2022 21:37

PedestalFan · 20/10/2022 21:36

Just to update that he got a job from an even better company!

Sorry, just to clarify - even better company just IMO! Other people might have a different opinion.

Several years ago, he said he's going to work in that company and he did it!

OP posts:
M0rT · 20/10/2022 22:13

What a great update. Delighted for him and you. Lovely to see people achieve their goals!

Original poster
PedestalFan · 21/10/2022 05:23

slaybell · 09/12/2021 11:33

I've been here serve all times the last few months. Even more frustrating when you pass all the stages but someone else is just that bit stronger (I'm not on 4 different reserve lists for this reason). Is he on a reserve list? Or was it a straight rejection?

It sucks OP but he will be more crushed than you are, just show him you are disappointed for him NOT with him xx

A manager actually wanted to hire him for the next position down (and he was ok with it!) but I think the organisation had a policy based on the number of experience and HR wouldn't let them (the manager) hire him because of that.

Anyway, all's well that ends well! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
PedestalFan · 21/10/2022 05:23

M0rT · 20/10/2022 22:13

What a great update. Delighted for him and you. Lovely to see people achieve their goals!

Thank you! I am so thrilled for him!

OP posts:
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