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AIBU?

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Original poster

Struggling at school. When to get in touch?

16 replies

Dailywalk · 08/12/2021 21:27

How do you know when to contact school and how do you do it if you think your child is struggling?

My dd13 seems to be struggling at school. She’s got a few test results back recently and done pretty badly. She’s also forgotten to hand things in and missed deadlines.

She’s in the top set for some subjects and is too afraid to say when she doesn’t understand. She’s afraid of the embarrassment of being moved down.
Teachers have rattled through the correct answers of tests and she has come home and still not understood what she was doing or what the correct answer meant.

I’m sure if she was doing terribly or behaving really badly or whatever I’d hear from school but I’m worried about her and wondering if I should contact school first and see if they’re concerned or if there’s actually nothing to worry about?

She in y9 but because her school lets them do their options in y8 she’s already doing GCSE work. I’m worried some stuff she’s doing now will be important and not covered again before her GCSEs.

OP posts:
Wisewordswouldhelp · 08/12/2021 21:32

I wonder does she have some kind of processing disorder? E.g. Dyslexia? Dyslexia is a much wider diagnosis than just reading and writing issues. The being forgetful bit reminded me of my dyslexic daughter and missing the explanation (she sort of zones out then panics when she hasn't heard the teacher)

Fallagain · 08/12/2021 21:35

Now is the time to speak to the school. I’m a recent ex secondary teacher and as a form tutor I would have started by contacting all her subject teacher to find out what they thought was happening and then speak to the student.

PumpkinPie2016 · 08/12/2021 21:44

As a teacher, I would say contact them now. It's far better to address struggles early on than wait until they become a bigger problem.

I also agree with @Wisewordswouldhelp it could be something like dyslexia (though of course, it may not be). I have dyslexia and my reading/writing is fine (my grammar isn't great but I cope fine). My biggest issue is processing and working memory.

If someone is giving me instructions, I need them written down or I just cannot remember what I am supposed to do.

If someone is talking about one thing and quickly changes the subject, it takes me a while to catch up.

SethWho · 08/12/2021 21:57

They will go back over things. GCSEs are designed to be 2 years. I would contact her form tutor or HoY.

Original poster
Dailywalk · 08/12/2021 22:27

Thanks. I wasn’t sure if I was overreacting but didn’t want to wait foe things to get worse.

OP posts:
SnarkyBag · 08/12/2021 22:28

IME always sooner rather than later with these things.

Rizzoli123 · 08/12/2021 22:31

@PumpkinPie2016

I am exactly the same. I have a bad short term audio and visual memory. If it's not written down with a minute of coming of the phone or speaking to someone I easily forget.

RedHelenB · 08/12/2021 22:42

I'd say something now. GCSEs were the point that my dd couldn't mask her dyslexia any longer and it took till A levels to get diagnosed and extra time and use of a laptop in exams

Wisewordswouldhelp · 09/12/2021 09:08

Also don't rely on school to identify dyslexia. Unfortunately they are not best placed to identify it and sometimes have a narrow idea of what it is. Schools don't generally fund assessments so you are best off having a look on the BDA webpage.

logsonlogsoff · 09/12/2021 10:03

Now, that’s what the teachers and pastoral support are for.

MorningNinja · 09/12/2021 10:06

I'd suggest a dyslexia assessment too - it really is more than getting your b's and d's mixed up.

Original poster
Dailywalk · 09/12/2021 11:00

I hadn’t even considered dyslexia. I don’t know where to start even looking into this!

Am I wrong to assume she would have struggled before now though if there was an issue such as dyslexia? Did well in primary and is predicted good gcse grades based on this

I’ve made a call to school though this morning and waiting for her form teacher to return my calls.

OP posts:
Wisewordswouldhelp · 09/12/2021 11:45

Alot of children are diagnosed late (in quite a few cases at university level!!), especially when they are doing generally well. As they progress through the school system, they have to take on more information, complete work faster, more independent work. That's when the cracks start to show. Have a look at the BDA website for recommended assessors.

Wisewordswouldhelp · 09/12/2021 11:48

Having dyslexia doesn't mean she can't achieve brilliant GCSEs (if she indeed is dyslexic). It does mean she could benefit from certain scaffolding e.g. instructions written out in addition to verbally.

PoppityInThe · 09/12/2021 12:28

Sooner rather than later.
It's possible something went too face paced for her, it didn't click, and either couldn't build upon foundations or got overwhelmed and fell further behind. Is a tutor an option?

RedHelenB · 09/12/2021 21:49

@Dailywalk

I hadn’t even considered dyslexia. I don’t know where to start even looking into this!

Am I wrong to assume she would have struggled before now though if there was an issue such as dyslexia? Did well in primary and is predicted good gcse grades based on this

I’ve made a call to school though this morning and waiting for her form teacher to return my calls.

Not necessarily. On my dds assessment they said her English was better than any other person they'd seen but she'd always struggled with reading aloud, couldn't ever do it without error. Knew sonething was up when she said she just didn't have time to write everything in her gases and found out her friends has written double the amount. Still got As and an A star though apart from languages
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