I have 3DC and my parents are wonderful with them. They have 2 of them for an afternoon/tea each week and the younger one for a couple of hours each week. They will also help out occasionally if I ask if we want to go out or something. They are very generous with them often buying them little gifts etc and can afford to be.
They have set a generous budget for them for Xmas of £150 each and I’ve told them they don’t need to spend that much and actually they don’t need much/I can’t justify spending that much money but they won’t listen.
The problem is I feel like the money they are spending is used against me. For example my mum had offered to take them on a day out and told me to get the tickets. When I told her the cost she asked if she was paying (I’m doing other things with them and probably wouldn’t have got tickets otherwise) and my mum sounded affronted and said she won’t be taking them as she is spending enough on us all for Christmas!
They have also made remarks such as we are paying for your childcare - my mum left work ‘to look after my children’ or so she said although it was only 2days a week for a short period then I put them in nursery and it was half a day or before/after nursery. I feel like I’m constantly made to feel like they are doing me a huge favour and I owe them something and not that they enjoy/want to spend time with their grandchildren/spend money on them.
So AIBU
Yes - you should be grateful they will look after their DGC and they spend money on them.
No - it is their choice to have them/spend the money they shouldn’t then make comments about how much they do/what they spend