Butterflies, there are practical things to think about.
How many children? How old?
You say both work. Do you have your own money? Your own bank account?
Are you able to use a phone without him listening in? Or a computer without him looking over your shoulder? You can't easily get help if you can't get in contact with people who would give it to you. (Women's Aid are probably the best bet to start from.)
None of this is relevant unless you see for yourself, without us pushing, that you are not in a good place, that you cannot make yourself into what he wants because what he wants is going to change so that you never get there, and that trying to please is a losing game. When that realisation hits you there's no telling why that will happen, but from what you say is is very likely indeed that it will there will be things you can do do get yourself out of this hole, and Women's Aid will be able to help you identify them and work out ways to achieve them.
Save money if you can, starting today. And look in the mirror every day and repeat that old bromide "I am enough, I have enough, I do enough." It was intended as an aspirational business motto thing, but it works to reassure you that you are not the dregs, you are a woman in your own right and have no reason to be ashamed.