Two busy weekends, two sick kids, AIBU

[regularbutnamechangedd]

Our whole household is down with fever, coughs and sore throats this week. We are awaiting postal PCR results. Smallest (3) has a lingering chesty cough and is a bit whiny. Eldest (7 and autistic) is very up and down, bouncy yesterday but wanting to hide in bed today. They also have a bacterial throat infection so we are administering amoxicillin for that, which is a two man job as he resists it.

This weekend, PCR pending, DH is taking our youngest up to visit his elder relations for two nights. They're dying to see him and our DC.

The week after I am taking youngest to my brother's wedding.

Eldest is staying home both of these weekends as they don't travel well, with me the first weekend and my DH the second.

I am worried about all the exposure my DH and DC will have on this weekend away, MiL has lined up all her friends and family to meet them, she's a very enthusiastic socialiser. They have to get two trains to go there, and go through London.

But the week after it's my brothers wedding and I obviously want to attend this as a priority, I haven't seen him for over two years and obviously I want to be there when he gets married.

AIBU to be worried about all this travelling right now? Should we just prioritise and stick to one thing?

I don’t think you can sacrifice your husband’s engagement for yours, and disappoint MIL “just in case”. If your dc gets sick but you’re ok, DH just keeps him home as well.

Also, London is not some kind of plague pit! Rates are lower than in much of the country. In fact, for a lot of this pandemic London has been relatively low and very observant of the rules comparatively. It was only at the very beginning and last Christmas when Boris sold us down the river by not putting in place restrictions soon enough (or even mentioning Alpha) that London was among higher rate areas.

I'd take the precautions you can, wear masks, wash / sanitise hands, keep distances when you can etc

I think it would BU to cancel one event in favour of the other (I can see in your OP you've mentioned being worried about your DH/DC visiting your MIL because of the amount of people, TBH I'd think the wedding more of a risk for that!).

@MrzClaus

I'd take the precautions you can, wear masks, wash / sanitise hands, keep distances when you can etc

I think it would BU to cancel one event in favour of the other (I can see in your OP you've mentioned being worried about your DH/DC visiting your MIL because of the amount of people, TBH I'd think the wedding more of a risk for that!).

I agree but I would think a wedding is a more important occasion. Maybe it isn't and AIBU.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

I don’t think you can sacrifice your husband’s engagement for yours, and disappoint MIL “just in case”. If your dc gets sick but you’re ok, DH just keeps him home as well.

Also, London is not some kind of plague pit! Rates are lower than in much of the country. In fact, for a lot of this pandemic London has been relatively low and very observant of the rules comparatively. It was only at the very beginning and last Christmas when Boris sold us down the river by not putting in place restrictions soon enough (or even mentioning Alpha) that London was among higher rate areas.

I don't think London is a plague pit. My DH commutes and the tubes are packed, with many people not wearing masks. Also generally the trains anywhere are busy at the weekends at this time of year.

@regularbutnamechangedd "I agree but I would think a wedding is a more important occasion. Maybe it isn't and AIBU"

IMO (as someone getting married next week!) I don't expect my friends / family to stop living their lives in the build up to the wedding. You could catch covid anywhere - unless you're all staying home until the wedding! I'm going ahead with a wedding during a time when I accept that people may at the last minute be unable to attend, I'm sure your brother would have the same understanding?

If you're double jabbed you don't have to isolate either (unless it's the new variant) if there's covid in your household.

In your position I'd let DH/DC visit MIL, ask them to take sensible precautions. When they return, do LFT on yourself and them (unless symptomatic!) and then go and enjoy your brothers wedding.

Well if your husband is commuting on the tube anyway, him and your youngest getting the tube to see his mum and her friends really doesn't pose much additional risk.

I don't think it's fair to prioritise either family. Carry on with your plans. You'll probably be fine.

Yeah I'm prepared to be told AIBU. Just heard omicron is doubling every two days though, so I'm thinking a week ahead to just before DB's wedding. He's massively important to me. We lost our mother quite young and are very close.

@user1471457751

Well if your husband is commuting on the tube anyway, him and your youngest getting the tube to see his mum and her friends really doesn't pose much additional risk.

Well he hasn't since last week as we've all been too ill anywhere.

If your husband is already commuting on the tube then I’d say you’re already getting exposed to quite a high risk of catching it. I don’t think a couple of family events would make it any worse.

I think he is BU to take them away if they are unwell though.

Are your kids in nursery and school? And your DH commuting on public transport?

If so then their exposure there is going to far outweigh their exposure from a trip to MIL.

@Darkstar4855

If your husband is already commuting on the tube then I’d say you’re already getting exposed to quite a high risk of catching it. I don’t think a couple of family events would make it any worse.

I think he is BU to take them away if they are unwell though.

He's playing down how unwell DD is but she rattles when she breathes and is still coughing consistently.

@minipie

Are your kids in nursery and school? And your DH commuting on public transport?

If so then their exposure there is going to far outweigh their exposure from a trip to MIL.

Neither child in school since symptoms started and obviously off isolating now.

Having said that if DC is still at all unwell (even if not covid) then obviously it’s not sensible to go.

Ok, but if the PCRs come back clear they will be back in nursery and school right?

He's playing down how unwell DD is but she rattles when she breathes and is still coughing consistently.

Is that youngest or oldest? If it's the youngest, she stays home. If it's the oldest, they're staying home anyway.

What difference does it Omicron make? It seems milder if anything, are you double vaxxed and boosted? Only issue is it comes with automatic isolation. Do the DCs go to school? I genuinely suspect they're the weakest links at the moment, all cases locally are in school age kids and their families

@regularbutnamechangedd

Yeah I'm prepared to be told AIBU. Just heard omicron is doubling every two days though, so I'm thinking a week ahead to just before DB's wedding. He's massively important to me. We lost our mother quite young and are very close.

Surely your DH's relatives are also "massively important" to him, or else he wouldn't be going? The wedding itself sounds like the far riskier of the two occasions and could well result in all of you spending Christmas with covid (presuming you don't already have it). Would you be okay with your DH saying he doesn't feel you should go as a result?

@minipie

Ok, but if the PCRs come back clear they will be back in nursery and school right?

Younger, possible. Elder, not this week.

Do all your elders fully realise the swamp of bugs that is coming to visit? They might want you to reschedule their visit.

Our whole household is down with fever, coughs and sore throats this week

I think even PCRs aside you cannot make any firm plans at the moment as it would be unreasonable to go to anyones home/wedding with the above symptoms.

@PerseverancePays

Do all your elders fully realise the swamp of bugs that is coming to visit? They might want you to reschedule their visit.

They might but MiL DGAF.