Return of Thumb Man

[undertheglassceiling]

Got home from a shocking day at work full of true arseholes and a seemingly endless assault of bad news to find Thumb Man has made his horrid return. Walk right on by, kiss my husband and go inside where I’m immediately bitch slapped in the face by a funk like no other. Immediately Thumb Man’s bowels come to mind. Either he’s taken a toxic dump in our toilet to once again mark his territory or a family of mutant rats have died in the roof and are oozing their foul essence into the rafters.

AIBU to tell Thumb Man to poo elsewhere from now on? Please be kind. I’ve saged the house to expel the demon stench but find myself still saturated by it as we speak.

*I’ve written about Thumb Man before. Thankfully not for some time as I’ve made my dislike of him clear. In short, he’s a repellant friend of DH’s whose poor hygiene is a direct reflection of his mind.

Tell him to shit in his own toilet

Have you tried VIP poo?

Is Thumb Man an actual person ? Not sure if I'm being dense 😂

If so, I feel your pain, I have a BIL who feels the need to 'mark his territory' and is a generally awful being in many areas of life.

Absolutely make him shit elsewhere! And buy him some marigolds, a bog brush, some bleach and some air-freshener for DH to give him for Christmas.

Thumb man wouldn't be allowed in my house again.

@SugarlumpsesBumpses

Is Thumb Man an actual person ? Not sure if I'm being dense 😂

If so, I feel your pain, I have a BIL who feels the need to 'mark his territory' and is a generally awful being in many areas of life.

I WISH he was a figment of my imagination. Yet, he is real.

Excellent drawing. Thank you!

What qualities does your husband see in Thumb Man?

Oh I remember thumb man! Sorry to hear he’s back.

Does your DH have anosmia? Or is he simply inured to the stench? Clearly he didn’t get a Year 7 assembly about “if your friend smells, tell them”…

You have my deepest sympathies. Is installing a sheep dip type-setup and an outdoor privy (to be maintained by your DH, obviously) for Thumb Man an option?

I've missed your other posts... does your DH not notice?

I'll see if I can find your previous thread/s

OMG the picture 🤣.
Is this a different shitting man than the one who used to shite in a toilet off the beaten track every Saturday morning in a building somewhere?

I can’t figure out if this is meant to be lighthearted.

No sorry. We're in the middle of a pandemic (to quote "The Pritster"). Dirty smelly people are not coming into my house and they're certainly not pooing in my toilet. Thumb man would be banned.

Is he called thumb man because he sticks his thumb up his arse and then shits in your toilet?

I don't understand.

@MarieVanGoethem

Does your DH have anosmia? Or is he simply inured to the stench? Clearly he didn’t get a Year 7 assembly about “if your friend smells, tell them”…

You have my deepest sympathies. Is installing a sheep dip type-setup and an outdoor privy (to be maintained by your DH, obviously) for Thumb Man an option?

What? We never had an assembly like that! I don't think my children have either. Where did you go to school?

Is it your husband? Does he have an imaginary friend? Sorry I don't get it

Were you the poster who was just about to have a lovely long soak in the bath but your husband's friend used the loo and stank out the entire bathroom if not the house? I felt your rage.

Is thumb man your husband or a random house guest?

@CovidPassQuestion

I went to an all-girls comprehensive school, but when I started it was grant-maintained; had a wiggly-line catchment area (which I was well outside); & had Serious Notions. Far grander than any schools local to me - I was amazed the assembly didn’t lead to merciless bullying, because, well, telling a load of 11 & 12 year olds to be telling each other they smell?!

Mind you, our Director of Studies (what they called Head of Year) who was responsible for this went off to South Africa for a year & did an assembly for the school when she came back that early in included “and I thought of my Versace umbrella in the umbrella-stand in the hall at home and I wept”. She also, in my first term, gave me a massive ticking off for being off school with tonsillitis saying HER daughter had been at school despite having it. I really really wish I’d at least said I’d taken the time off my GP had said to, even if I’d not enquired into whether her daughter had been sent home from school after collapsing & enquiring into her ability to speak & swallow…

Came on thinking thumb man was a euphemism for a man with a micro penis!!

Why is DH allowing TM back in the house?

@Santahatesbraisedcabbage

Came on thinking thumb man was a euphemism for a man with a micro penis!!

I imagine he does have a micro penis.

Thumb Man is so named because he looks like a giant thumb. Thumb Man is my husband’s dodgy mate. They are friends but my husband can’t articulate why.

Is he related to the bloke who used to shit in a different OP'S office loo every Saturday morning while his daughter was attending a session with OP?

@BruceAndNosh that was what I was thinking too!

Maybe you could tell him to his face that his shits are so toxic you are banning him from using the loo at your house, @undertheglassceiling, and hope he’s so offended he never comes back.