Been with my partner for 18 months and overall great relationship - he is kind, caring etc. bit stingy at times but working on it.
About two months ago we had a period where my sex drive wasn't as high, I think it was due to stress at work and other stuff. We had a an argument during this time and he left to stay at his. When we made up and he came back I went through his phone as some of the stuff he was saying was off. I saw that he messaged a girl he used to date saying 'I miss you, more than I should'. I confronted him and he apologised sincerely, said he was feeling unloved by me because of the lack of sec and attention and he doesn't know why he said that, he didn't mean it and just wanted attention. This hurt me and we almost split up. I have been cheated on many times before, I have deep trust issues but thought with him he was different. She doesn't live in this country which is part of the reason i decided to move past this but what if she did?
Roll onto now, we are having another fallout - to do with lack of sex again, I'm really busy and stressed from work so haven't given him as much adult time as he would like. We had an argument, he went home and I said something like, 'will you be messaging your ex again?' He then says that she's messaged him but he hasn't replied....
I flipped out. They follow each other on instagram still and I basically feel like he is keeping her there in case we don't work out. I asked him to delete/block her, give an explanation to her if he needs to but he isn't doing it - after a while, he said he would but still hasn't. He's now trying to flip it on me as I have an old FWB who occasionally messaged me for business advise (my career) - but they know that I have a partner and we have both moved on in that sense. The way he flipped it on me, saying I must be feeling guilty about something is playing on my mind.
Do I have the right to ask him to delete her and not keep her there?!
Really appreciate your thoughts on this!