Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cut all ties with my pathetic excuse for a father?

2 replies

Laila747 · 07/12/2021 09:34

I’ve never really been close to my dad…he left my mum when I was 10 and he made it very obvious that I was in the way when I went to visit him and his slaggy tramp put a girlfriend.
He lives a few miles away yet hasn’t seen me or my DC for nearly 3 years now. He forgets their birthdays, never texts or calls to ask how any of us are and if I text him, i get one word responses.

Over the years I’ve realised he displays lots of narcissistic traits. He thinks he’s gods gift to women, he believes all women should be slim with long hair and perfect make up at all times. He’s rude to women that are overweight and has no problem commenting on peoples weight.

Over the years I’ve tried my best to maintain some sort of relationship with him. I’ve not found it easy because to be honest….I don’t like him.
A few days ago I was chatting to my mum and she let it slip that the only reason she got full custody of me was because she had to agree that she wouldn’t take any of the money he’d inherited from him. So basically, in my eyes he was more concerned about keeping his greedy paws on his money that he was about me.

I feel like I’ve had enough now. My DC wouldn’t know any different as they never see him or speak to him anyway. I just feel like I want to close that chapter and make it clear I’m not available to him whenever he’s got no better options. If someone were to ask me how I feel about not seeing my dad or how I feel that he quite obviously doesn’t give me a second thought, I’d say “I couldn’t care less…his loss”

But in reality it stings. Every girl wants their dad to love them.

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 07/12/2021 09:49

You and your children aren't gaining anything by trying to force a relationship.

It's fine to grieve for the relationship you've lost out on and move on.
It's as "simple" as not instigating and encouraging contact (simple not being the same as easy). With someone like him, there isn't a need to actively block and deter them, they'll just fizzle themselves out.

Laila747 · 07/12/2021 10:36

I think I’m just worried that when he dies (not necessarily anytime soon although he is late 70s and has been a smoker since 12) so I’d be surprised if he lives too much longer…that I’ll regret not making extra effort but then I don’t think he deserves it!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page