Keep her at home with me until 5?

[Excitedforthecheeses]

I’m currently a Sahm (teacher by profession)

I live in a country where formal schooling doesn’t start until age 6.

I love being at home with Dd (3.5 currently) as does she. We do lots of activities, crafts, learning (in process of reading short words at the moment, phonics etc) we have a good friendship circle and lots of days out and days in nature-the woods, beach etc. We go shopping, to the library, swimming, to the playground. She goes to gymnastics and dance class (where I have to leave her and go)
She’s a summer birthday, so could start pre school just after she turns 5, do a year and then formal school would start at 6 (same school)
Does this sound ok? Or should she be in something more formal, earlier?

@Sally090807 did they have to learn a second language though?

I would absolutely send her at 4 for the language immersion. The younger this happens the easier it will be for her to acquire the language and the less stressful “formal” schooling will be for her. We’ve moved our three kids around a lot and the youngest child at nursery/school has always picked up the new language fastest in the family.

[quote toomuchlaundry]@Sally090807 did they have to learn a second language though?[/quote]
No, she didn’t

Is language at school language you speak at home? If not I’d seriously consider as starting earlier would help language.
What will peers do? If all the 5 year olds are in school she won’t mix with them in classes or play dates like she is now.

If it wasn't for the language issue I think.it sounds great.

Given she needs to know the language I would start immersing her in it immediately. That could be through a babysitter/nanny or playgroup setting though. I don't think it has to be pre-school if that feels too formal.

What options do you have locally. A play school or moms morning out type programme for a few hours would help her language skills.
I’d probably post on ex pat forum or speak to other mums in your situation it’s the language issue that’s key.

@Bookworm20

I lived in a country where school formally started at age 6. But lots of children started in pre school age 3 or 4. For mine too the school was in their second language. I started them age 3, to begin with mornings only purely so they were emersed in the language their schooling would be in. Also at age 6 when school formally started it went very full on, a sort of hit the ground running scenario. They were not eased in like would happen at pre school. By the time they were 6 they were completely fluent so no issues there. You need to do whats best for you obviously, but also consider whats best for your DD. Would she get totally lost starting at 5 or 6 not having a full grasp of the language? Just because you like spending time doing crafts and days out and what not. I do know other families in the area whose dc's started age 5/6 who were still learning the language and they did really struggle and a few even ended up being pulled out and taught at home. In english. Its obviously different for every child, but definitely should be considered what would be best for her in the long run. If there was no language issue, I'd be saying don't start them yet, but you'd feel pretty bad if she started age 5/6 and then wasn't understanding anything properly and being left behind.

That's a really interesting post @Bookworm20. I'm ambivalent about homeschooling - it's not for me, that doesn't mean it's not for other people - but to 'have to' opt to homeschool because of language, when there's a chance to raise a bilingual kid with all the advantages that brings, would be a real shame in my view.

Tbf some kids will always struggle to complete schooling in a language which isn’t their first language regardless of how early you start them. I’ve seen it work out brilliantly but I’ve also seen kids who have really struggled academically (potentially would have also struggled with school in their native language but the fact that it wasn’t their native language really compounded things). Also socially it doesn’t always work out - being the kid who didn’t talk for the first few years of preschool/school can be a hard label to shake.

My kid maybe in the same "European" country as yours, the "school" aspect it just colouring, experiments, dancing etc it's a good way to do a low level introduction into school as there's things like using the big toilets etc.... Language is the most important part I cannot stress this enough they need to get introduced as soon as possible my kid has been here since 4 months and learnt so much more in school.

As it's not compulsory you can just tell the school they will only do half days etc until their 5. Make sure to pick a school that does language too.

Should read English language. If your in the same country as me they might have more then one language as normal for that area so English, the main language and the countries language is a must.

@GoGoGretaDoll Yes, at first I was a bit apprehensive as they seemed young, but I can say confidently its the best thing I did, starting them as early as possible, purely for the language as our grasp on it, and pronunciation etc was not enough to teach them correctly. At age 3 its not an issue so much if they don't understand their peers conpletely initially, or at least it didn't appear to be. But at 6 is entirely different and they could just get left on the sidelines both in the classroom and socially.
For about a year, they barely spoke at school, but by age 4 they were conversing fluently in both languages. I think waiting until age 5 or 6 would have really had a big effect on their confidence aswell.

There were 2 I knew of who ended up being pulled out, different families and different schools, and both ended up homeschooling in english at age 10 or 11 because the child was getting so far behind. Language played a big part in it and both parents said they wished they had of sent them at a much earlier age. Of course, they could have struggled anyway even if no language barrier, but also as neither sets of parents could communicate well in the language also, it was really really hard to give any additional help with school work.

As an aside though, as english is out first language we did do lots of 'english' activites with them too, reading, writing in english to make sure they were not behind in any of that.

@Keepitnerdy Where are you?

Just enjoy her till you feel ready for her to go to school - the assumption that children only learn in school or some child care facility is nonsense. She will be fine.

The language situation seems key to me. How well do you and your partner speak it? Do you plan to stay long term?

The earlier you start the better if you want her to be bilingual. Assuming neither your or your partner are native speakers, that could be by putting her in nursery; it could also be by putting the two of you into frequent immersion situations together, if you'd still rather her be with you.

Do what works for you. Personally sending my summer born DD to school and nursery was the best decision I ever made. I did crafts, saw friends etc just pre school and reception gave her something else. But everyone needs to make their own decision. You do what's best for you

I mean this kindly OP but is keeping your DC at home also about your lifestyle? Are you concerned about how you’ll fill your time with her away (nothing wrong with that but you don’t want it to influence your decision for the wrong reasons)

[quote Excitedforthecheeses]@Keepitnerdy Where are you?[/quote]
Spain, in a bit where they have main language then second language Spanish and my kids school has additional language of English as part of the school curriculum.

I would send her to preschool for the language reasons everybody else has already mentioned but also to expose her to germs etc early. When children first start at a setting they pick up every cough and cold and I think it's more important to get that out of the way before they start formal schooling.

As an aside though, just because she starts at a preschool doesn't mean you have to stop all of the fun things you do together. We live near the beach so on my days off from work I'd get all the household chores done while DD was at Nursery, make a picnic dinner, things like jacket potato's and chilli wrapped up / put in a thermos. Pick Dd up from nursery and get changed in the car and go straight to the beach.

In fact we still do things like that now when it's really hot and she's a teen, come home from work and school, dump our bags get into wetsuits and grab our paddle boards and go.

Little children are often tired after school but normally fine after a snack and a change of scenery, it's normally the waiting about or wanting your attention while you are cooking dinner that causes them to tantrum etc, or at least it was in DDs case.