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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to not want dh to run the Belfast Marathon when I'm 35 weeks pregnant?

17 replies

tassisssss · 17/12/2007 19:45

Just need some objective opinions on this please!

It's not the running of the marathon that's the issue, but the fact that it's in Belfast and we live in Central Scotland and i want him near me when I'm that pregnant (though i know the chances of having baby when he's away are very slim).

Dh has booked the flight but has said he's prepared not to go, but won't discuss it atm...I'm trying to decide how big a deal this is (and i'm pregnant and tired and irrational).

What would you do?!

OP posts:

Onlyaphase · 17/12/2007 19:48

Ooh, I had the same thing when 36 weeks pregnant and DH was talking about doing some canoe race on the Liffey. He decided against it as it wouldn't be worth the worry for him ....we also had 2 dogs that needed walking twice daily and I had SPD, so it really wasn't practical for him to be away for 3 days.

Is there anyone who could maybe stay with you if he does go? Would that help?

CremolaFirCone · 17/12/2007 19:55

TASSISSSS if you came with him and took the car you would be very welcome to sit here and drink tea with me.(i live near the end of the marathon route

Waswondering · 17/12/2007 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

tassisssss · 17/12/2007 20:02

Cremola, that's very kind, thanks!

I hadn't thought of going with him, hmmm... He's booked with a bunch of blokes so I'm not entirely sure I'd be welcome!

i think the fact that he's not wanting to discuss it is because he's thinking he might not go. Shame, I just wish it were a few weeks earlier.

OP posts:

Waswondering · 17/12/2007 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TutterrysChocolateOrange · 17/12/2007 20:05

dh ran the london marathon when i was 36 weeks pg withg ds1

but we lived in london at the time - in teory he could have got home within a couple of hours (although not sure how i could have got a message through to him mid-coarse!)

i don't think you are BU - i would not want dh more than an hour or tywo away from me in the final 6ish weeks

TutterrysChocolateOrange · 17/12/2007 20:05

course

Original poster

tassisssss · 17/12/2007 20:13

yes, but WW it's the whole travelling together thing, staying over together, my presence would clearly change the dynamic!

think mum's 1.5-2 hours from belfast so not exactly near either

OP posts:

hannahsaunt · 17/12/2007 20:53

And you have two other children (take it he wouldn't be taking them...), one of whom is still a toddler. Definitely not being unreasonable in my book. I found dh doing his weekends on call bad enough at that stage and at least he was only 10 mins away if there was an absolute crisis (and I don't just mean of the having baby sort - the I am about to kill the children if you don't come sort...). HTH

Heated · 17/12/2007 21:05

It would depend on your medical history such as how early your other two arrived I guess & whether this pg was high risk.

Presuming no complications and your others were born at 40weeks, I would personally say yes, knowing it's the last he'd be doing for a while.

Waswondering · 17/12/2007 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 17/12/2007 21:29

Oh let him go FGS.
It's a baby,not the second coming.

Quattrocento · 17/12/2007 21:30

Oh dear oh dear

How to put this gently?

Nope, can't do it.

You are being utterly bonkers and hormonal and you need to stop this at once.

beansprout · 17/12/2007 21:30

Dh is going away this weekend and I will be 34 weeks by then. Don't have a problem with it but agree that if you have a history of pre term deliveries then it would be an understandable concern.

Sexmasonlegs · 17/12/2007 21:33

I think you are not being unreasonable at all. Even if you have had no issues in previous pregnancies, who knows how this will turn out? Hopefully absolutely fine.

Our dd1 was a week late, and dd2 was 8 days early - you just never know.

Good luck.x

derah · 18/12/2007 18:37

When is the marathon? Does he do a lot of them or is this a really big thing to him? I've run 2 marathons, and they take one heck of a lot of time and dedication. If the race is soon, he will have done all his training and will be crushed if he doesn't get to run. It's really great of him to say he'll stay home if this is the case.

Sorry, but I'd say let him go. Odds are you'll be fine, unless you're having a difficult pregnancy and are struggling to stay on top of things.

Or look up marathons in Scotland around the same time and suggest he might want to run one of them instead. But it will have the same day, or no more than a weekend either side or it wouldn't work into his training.

scorpio1 · 18/12/2007 18:40

i would let him. its from 38 weeks i would worry like that, you may not have baby for a further 7 weeks!

have someone you love and trust like a friend on standby, but i doubt you will need them.

Flip