Single and baby?

[Janie564]

Approaching the grand old age of 36. I really want a baby and feel like time is running out.

I have a decent financial situation (circa 60k in savings) and a good job (65k a year) with good mat leave benefits. Should I go it alone?

Pressed post too soon! But I also own a 2 bed house with potential for a 3rd bedroom. Mortgaged but I own 50% of it.

Yes- make plans. Ask friends about the reality of childcare (costs; how often kids are ill, etc) and think about your support network.

Do you have a decent support network? If so then yes I would, you’re in a good financial position.

Yes. I'd say no if you were skint but you've got money to pay for support like a nanny or a babysitter to give you a break so that you can still have a life outside of being a mum. What have you got to lose?

If you've got a good family support network definitely do it. I would've done it had I not met DH in the nick of time. 36 was my age to start looking into doing it.

Yes, I’d say do it! If you’re on Instagram, follow a lady called livsalone, she did exactly what you’re proposing.

Hmmm it wouldn't be for me. I def would want to share the joy/work with someone else.
Do you have family nearby?

I know two women who have gone it alone one with a baby and one with surprise twins (she is super human!!!!)

If you have a burning desire I would say go for it and continue to save aggressively.

Hmmm it wouldn't be for me. I def would want to share the joy/work with someone else

Me too.

@Pyewackect. @Totalwasteofpaper.

Does it not occur to you that the OP may also want that but for whatever reason has not found that???

Have you heard of pollen tree op? It’s good for people in your situation.

Do the sums first but yes, go for it. I know several women who have done this, generally in mid-late 30s when their original plan of finding a partner first didn’t work out in time. As long as you have friends/family for support and enough money not to be really stuck then I think it’s fine. Better than having a useless partner… good luck!

100% yes! And seconded on livsalone. Her book is great!

You can meet someone later if you want. These are our years.

I would. My close friend had a baby on her own; like you she has considerable savings. She and her DD have a lovely relationship. I can see it is hard work, but I think perhaps not in the way it might be if you'd had a very early relationship breakdown and ended up a single mum not through choice.

Sounds like U are all set so yeah do for it

Yes, but do you have support for the long lonely evenings, for the tough times etc? Family, friends etc. I lived 4500 miles from family and despite being a couple it was tough (new in town so no friends)

Echo the point about support network. Or ability to pay for more help.

Even with the most easy babies - the having another person to hand that baby to while you take 10 mins here and there is so important. With my first there were times when my partner was gone from 5am to 9pm and that is a long day on my own.

However I was single at 36 and met someone quickly and was pregnant by 38.

I too planned to go it alone if I hadn't met someone by 37!

Yes, if you want to!