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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask for advice on an important work meeting

30 replies

User14273895 · 06/12/2021 16:56

Can I ask the hive mind for advice ahead of a meeting I have at work next week?

I have been trialling compressed hours at work for 3 months following my return from maternity leave in August, so I do 5 days over 4. My hours are 8am to 5:45pm, Tuesday to Friday.

I have a daughter who is 15 months old. Doing compressed hours gives me one extra day per week with her, which I really cherish, and saves me a day of nursery fees.

As far as I am concerned, the arrangement has gone very well. I don’t mind the long days and find the hour I have morning and evening when no-one else is in lets me get my head down and focus without interruptions. I’m an accountant and all my work is time-recorded to specific clients, so it’s easy to see that my performance hasn’t been negatively affected by the change. In fact, I’m more efficient now than I was before I went on maternity (which I put down to me being happier and therefore more motivated). My firm has a flexible working policy which heavily promotes the idea of flexible working to a pattern that suits you. We have no core hours, for example, and total autonomy over whether to work from home.

The only snag is I don’t think my boss likes it. We work very closely together, though I am quite junior to her, and I think she likes having me available as soon as she wants me to do anything. She has made a few comments recently about how when she had her children (now aged 15 and 10) she went back to full time work after 3 months because she was ambitious and didn’t want to let her firm down. She has also several times ‘forgotten’ my non-working day and then expressed a sort of disappointed surprise at my unavailability for a last minute meeting or similar. She has also called me on every single one of my NWDs so far with questions (so far all have been things that either could have waited until Tuesday, or that she could have found herself very quickly from checking our file).

I have anxiety and I fully appreciate I may be catastrophising, but I’m really anxious that she’s going to put the kibosh on my compressed hours because she personally would rather have me at her beck and call.

I’ve prepared financial reports of my performance to show her and made a list of all the benefits to the business and to me personally. She isn’t technically allowed to refuse my working request just because she doesn’t like it - there has to be a business need behind it. But I want to be alive to any attempts to dress this up as a legitimate concern.

Any advice on how to approach this meeting? Any useful phrases I should be ready to deploy, any angles I haven’t considered? I love my job but I would actually consider leaving if this can’t be accommodated, so I really want to get it right!

OP posts:
SnowySnowSnow · 06/12/2021 17:07

She’s just being lazy and selfish. Her life is easier if you’re around when she is as then she doesn’t have to engage her brain and make any effort. This attitude makes me really mad but it’s typical of senior professionals.

For the meeting I’d just focus on all the positives. How your out put is just as good as when you worked every day etc. and do not get sucked into agreeing to change your hours. You need to decide what’s important to you and stick to your guns.

SingingSands · 06/12/2021 17:12

Definitely stick to your guns OP. Will it just be you and your boss in the meeting? Could you ask for an HR bod to attend also?

I'd be wary of your boss mentioning "having to" ring you on your NWD. Perhaps prepare something to throw back if she does. Or, if given the chance, raise that going forward you won't be available to answer queries on your NWD.

dameofdilemma · 06/12/2021 17:18

Just continue to do your job impeccably, so there can be no attempt to performance manage you.

Also (privately) keep a log of all the incidences of you being called or asked to work on your NWD or asked to stay beyond your compressed hours and why it wasn't essential. Hopefully you won't need to refer to it but handy anyway.

And not all senior managers are like this. I'm a senior manager (law) and have a mix of direct reports, some work full time, others part time. I respect their working arrangements.
On the odd occasion they have gone above and beyond its appreciated and (crucially) voluntary. And I do the same.

Your manager needs to drag herself out of the 1980s to be honest. Even industries like law and accounting (traditionally the last to adapt) have moved on.

Bluntness100 · 06/12/2021 17:25

Her life is easier if you’re around when she is as then she doesn’t have to engage her brain and make any effort

But harsh, I’m sure she does engage her brain, but if you have a support worker it’s not unreasonable to want them working with you. She’s not providing the op with a charitable act for goodness sake.

HairyScaryMonster · 06/12/2021 18:13

Hmm surely needing to be available 'when the business needs you' i.e. your boss is a business requirement...?

Original poster
User14273895 · 06/12/2021 18:17

Thank you so much. You’re all right - I need to channel some inner resolve!

The kinds of things she calls me about on my NWDs are definitely not urgent or time sensitive - they’re things like ‘can you tell me where you filed that report’ when if she looked on the system (the work of seconds) she would see it right there. Or asking me if I billed a client when she can log on to our billing system (and is copied in to all my invoices anyway…). I’m obviously not the recipient of charity! But is has felt a little like she’s calling me with busywork to make the point that I’m not in the office. I just don’t want these instances to be used as proof that compressed hours aren’t working when they haven’t been remotely urgent or capable of resolution by me alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
User14273895 · 06/12/2021 18:20

@HairyScaryMonster

Hmm surely needing to be available 'when the business needs you' i.e. your boss is a business requirement...?
She might make this argument. I’m not sure it’s a fair one, though. I’m not her PA. I’m her direct report but I work on my own files & with my own clients under her supervision, rather than as her assistant iyswim. It’s not part of my job description to be on call to send her things she doesn’t want to look up etc, although I’m happy to do that when I am in the office. I just don’t think it justifies a refusal of my request when I am managing my own workload well under the compressed hours.
OP posts:
whyohwhyohwhyohwhywhy · 06/12/2021 18:22

I think that if she asks you to change it you should push back with all the info you have given, and if she persists should pleasantly ask her to set it out in writing so you can seek to understand better what the business need is.

I would also suggest not answering the phone on your nwd.

Niconacotaco · 06/12/2021 18:37

Remind her that you are already working full time, just compressed hours.

FangsForTheMemory · 06/12/2021 18:40

Don't let her do this. She shouldn't need you to be at her beck and call anyway, if you're not her PA. It does sound as though she's being deliberately awkward.

Cattipuss · 06/12/2021 18:47

You're only out of office one day, I'm sure some things crop up, but surely can't be that much that's actually urgent that she needs help with there and then. It doesn't sound like you are in a PA role or whatever where you should be in whenever she is anyway? I'd do what you are doing, take your evidence of how it's working fine and how things are working well. There are some people that don't like to see someone have something they didn't, but that's not your problem

Triffid1 · 06/12/2021 18:56

A few thoughts:

  1. You can prove that the work you are supposed to be doing is being done, on time, to the client's satisfaction, so that's useful.
  1. If the issue is that your boss has a habit of using you for random grunt work that is not part of your real job, and it comes up, a pleasant, "of course, I'm always willing to help you find that information etc during my usual working hours but obviously that doesn't work out of hours".
  1. Is it possible that being off on a Monday is part of the problem? A lot of bosses really struggle with Mondays as they feel it's their planning/prep time and people not being in the office is a problem. Similarly, many organisations aren't wild about people not being off on Fridays as they think that means they all get demob happy on Thursdays and slack off. The French use Wednesday as the standard day for not being in the office and I think that works well. In my case, I looked at my diary and work load going back a few months and realised that traditionally Tuesdays were the days I seldom had meetings and there were no team meetings etc, so that was my non-working day.
  1. Are there times when you have been able to respond more quickly to a request from her or a client due to the longer days? eg a client emails late at night and you're able to provide the answer by 8:30 am or you picked up the last minute request at 5pm and dealt with it? If so, highlight those as one of the b benefits in the context of, "downside, I'm not here on Mondays, upside, I am here at random other times when no one else can help clients"/
Alpinechalet · 06/12/2021 19:21

Pp have made some good suggestions. and you are business focused and delivering.

Think about dropping in key words such as modern workplace, forward thinking, changing world of work, what employees are looking for etc. that subtly convey your managers views are archaic. I’m not explaining it well but flexible working is here to stay and workplaces/employers/managers who don’t adapt could find they do not attract the best candidates.

Original poster
User14273895 · 06/12/2021 19:23

These suggestions are so helpful, thank you. That’s a good point about Monday maybe being a tricky day - I would happily switch to a Wednesday if that would suit her more.

Thanks so much for all the replies, really appreciate them

OP posts:
Brokenrecord3006 · 06/12/2021 19:30

Could you suggest that you could switch to Mon-Thurs if that makes a difference? It sticks the ball back in her court while you still get the hours you want.

Wherever I've worked Fridays have always been much quieter. Maybe you'd be bothered less on NWD too. From what you've said however, your set up sounds totally fine and I struggle to see how it could be argued with.

EATmum · 06/12/2021 19:48

I was going to suggest switching to Wednesday too. Things rarely seem so urgent midweek. Good luck!

SheWoreYellow · 06/12/2021 19:53

I’d say Friday actually. But offer either.

DingDongDenny · 06/12/2021 20:00

Its a really shame that women like this don't support other women. Rather than 'I had it hard, so you should to' How will things ever improve if we aren't prepared to welcome changes, even if they don't benefit us personally.

Hothammock · 06/12/2021 20:02

If she is truly being a bit off about your working pattern and it isn't just you being anxious, I would suggest trying to find an opportunity to credit your boss with the arrangement and in that way defuse her jealousy. Can you nominate your boss for some internal staff award as a thank you for being supportive to working parents. Or create an opportunity at a team meeting or staff network event to invite your boss to share their experience of building a successful flexible team ... These examples might not work for your company but you get the gist!

SynchroSwimmer · 06/12/2021 20:13

There might also be other benefits to you in switching away from Mondays.
Many Bank Holidays are Mondays…

lljkk · 06/12/2021 20:16

Sounds passive aggressive. I hope you stand firm, OP

KeyboardWorriers · 06/12/2021 20:18

I would go prepared to switch days to have Wednesday or Friday off.

But otherwise I think everything you are doing sounds sensible and if she won't accommodate your request I would start looking for somewhere else that will.

DancinOnTheCeiling · 06/12/2021 20:30

Good luck OP, lots of great suggestions. Please update us after the meeting.

EightWheelGirl · 06/12/2021 20:54

On non working days?

So you'd have no probs with being called in to work on a Sunday when your boss needs your help?

EightWheelGirl · 06/12/2021 20:55

Doh, was replying to this.

Hmm surely needing to be available 'when the business needs you' i.e. your boss is a business requirement...?