To think if my experience is anything to go by, this is why people can't 'try' living together before buying somewhere?

[mssalteena]

Often on MN you see posters berating women for moving in with a partner, and leaving themselves financially vulnerable, or alternatively letting a partner move into their place who becomes a cocklodger.

It's frequently said that you should try out living together, a neutral property that's rented so you're not tied to each other etc.

Seems sensible doesn't it, yet DP and I have been trying to do this for months, without success. Every property we try and rent we're turned down for, mainly because we already own other homes and apparently the landlords think we should buy somewhere and not rent! Since the summer we've applied for 15 or so properties, filled out lengthy application forms, given copies of all kinds of personal information (credit scores, bank statements, wage slips, tax returns, you name it!) and been turned down every single time.

We're both trying to protect ourselves financially by renting somewhere together, and yet despite being able to afford to do so, and it being the right thing for us at this stage, we're being made to feel like we're in the wrong!

Not really sure how we can try living together if this is what's going to happen, it rather feels like we're being forced into buying somewhere which is not something either of us wants to do right now.

@mssalteena

It's what we've been told when we've asked - as said, a couple have said they've favoured applicants with kids (fair enough), then for the rest it's been either the LL felt we should be buying, either because of our salaries, fact we already own or a combination of both.

That's what we've been told so I can only go by that. There's no other reason to think we'd be turned down, we have secure occupations, don't smoke, don't have pets, good credit history and so on.

I highly doubt they think you should be buying. It’s way more likely that they know you could be buying - and therefore probably will sooner rather than later. Of course you told the agent you were looking to rent for up to two years - who wouldn’t? Unless a tenant specifically wants a shorter than average let (and is perhaps prepared to pay above market rate to get it), it’s in their interest to convince the landlord they’re a long-term prospect.

You may have found an unusually altruistic landlord in the one who specifically wants to rent to a family with young children, but it’s more likely they think the parents will want to stay long-term once the children are settled in school.

You sound like time wasters to them, that's why.

@Receptionclass

You sound like time wasters to them, that's why.

I guess that could be the case, if so, how can we sound less like timewasters? Because we're not, we do want to rent somewhere for 2, maybe 3 years.

Maybd the prospective landlords think you will be very temporary tenants since you both own a property each. Offer 6 months rent in advance and see if that helps.

I honestly cannot see why any landlord would have an opinion on whether you should be eating or buying. Landlords care about two things only a) will you pay your rent and b) will you look after the property.

When I met now DH, I owned my own property but we decided to rent a place together. No issues whatsoever.

I wonder if they're also thinking you might be awkward tenants because you've had your own home so have got used to certain things/ things being done a certain way?

Oh dear. The issue you're having is because there is a chronic shortage of rental properties thanks to recent government changes, mostly pressured by Generation Rent and Shelter etc in legalisation, tax and all that stuff that has made being a landlord, quite honestly, not worth the risk for most people. So a LOT of them have sold up.

I'm a landlord, I wouldn't turn you down in your circumstances, in fact I've had 3 sets of tenants who owned their own home and moved areas for personal reasons, and they by far are the best tenants, because they look after your property and behave like an adult. I've often found those who've never owned their own, don't care if they damage it or the like.

However, with a pick of tenants, landlords can now choose who they want and unfortunately that sounds like other tenants seem a better bet for whatever reason. My immediate thoughts are that you'll only want it short term and I'd have to go through the hassle of refurbishing and finding new tenants all over again. It's very time consuming, expensive and stressful.

Perhaps reiterate to the landlords that you'll take better care of the property, not call them to change a lightbulb (yes I've had this) and haven't missed a mortgage payment and try if possible to meet them so they can see you're a decent human being. (We get a sense for things after a while)

Best of luck.

It's been the agents who have given the reasons for LL rejecting our application (at the initial stage, before we even got to referencing or similar)

I think this is the problem! I would really never take anything an agent says at face value

I guess you could think the agents are not being honest about it - but then if that isnt the reason, what is?

It's been several different agents (there are loads here, we've applied to at least 10) so surely they can't all be lying?

@TheDailyCarbunkle

While I agree in principle with what you're saying, it seems odd to move in with someone that you don't really trust, to the extent that you have to go to a lot of hassle to 'protect' yourself from them. There are relatively simply legal ways for one to move in with the other (why doesn't one of you rent your house out as way of staying financially independent, for example?) without joining all your assets. Renting when you already own is quite a faff especially in this market.

That's a huge leap! She hasn't said she didn't TRUST her partner, they just want to try living together somewhere neutral before committing. Perhaps it's a compatibility issue, tidyness, noise, personal habits, finances, etc

Neither of us has lived with a romantic partner for years, so there will be an element of adjustment. There is also a significant financial imbalance - in relation more to assets than income, income wise we're similarly matched. We've managed living apart for a number of years, now we're getting older we think we'd like to live together but it may be that we actually decide we'd prefer to maintain the status quo. Or that it enables us to know when buying a house we'll need a garage, or a 3rd bedroom, or whatever.

YABU to think your experience is anything to go by for other people.

Two home-owners who can't or don't want to live together in either of their homes, looking for a separate third place to rent, is a fairly unusual (and privileged) situation.

Get a longer term AirBnB. It's all the rage for newly co-habiting couples.

I think it’s strange that you’re even being asked that, I’ve never been asked before just given my income. Are there any other agencies you could try?

most of the applications we've made which are all preprinted have sections with current address, time at address (and if less than 5 years all previous addresses in that period) and status - tenant, owner, etc. If tenant you then have to confirm current letting agent. It seems fairly standard to the agencies in our area, we've applied via more than 10 different ones so far.

AirB&B doesnt seem a 'thing' in this area, unless you want to rent a 12 bed country house which is a little outside our price range!

We had some issues when we moved back to our home country and wanted to rent after a house purchase fell through -- but that was because we didn't want to commit to a minimum tenancy agreement. In the end we rented from friends of friends who were spending a year overseas. I can see entirely why letting agents didn't want to rent to a family who probably wouldn't want to stay long.

most of the applications we've made which are all preprinted have sections with current address, time at address (and if less than 5 years all previous addresses in that period) and status - tenant, owner, etc.

But the LL won't see this - it's for confirmation of legal status.

@hugr

most of the applications we've made which are all preprinted have sections with current address, time at address (and if less than 5 years all previous addresses in that period) and status - tenant, owner, etc.

But the LL won't see this - it's for confirmation of legal status.

I'm not sure that's right, according to the agents we've dealt with they send across copies of all application forms to the landlords? at least that's what we've been told - so the landlord can make a decision. As otherwise they'd have no info to make a decision on?

OP the issue isn’t you. It’s that there are too many applications and agents have stock reasons to give the rejected ones.

LL doesn’t ‘reject’ anybody more like they chose one

Honestly this is such a non issue. If you move into his house, of course you are still living together!

It isn't a non issue. Our respective homes are not suitable for us to live together in. We don't want to commit to buying a joint property yet, indeed we're not really in a position to do so. We'd like to live together first, but if we can't secure a rental property we're not going to be able to.