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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Gifts for friends

19 replies

Lilybo7 · 06/12/2021 15:39

This has happened to me a few times recently and just wanted to know if I'm over reacting !
Some good friends recently had birthdays (including 50ths), and on separate occasions.

I went to effort choosing the gifts for them, knowing they were special and bespoke to that friend. Met them for dinner but none of my friend made an effort to open the present when I gave it to them. At the end of dinner the first time, I said excitedly 'Aren't you going to open the present then?' And she said something about was going to take it home but then ended up opening it. I just wanted to see her face and talk about the present, not just be thanked over text.

Then it happened a couple of times again . I'd chosen some nice gifts which just sat on the table unopened all night and I couldn't be bothered to ask her to open jt . It wasn't like a big birthday do.. it was just 2 couples. Of course I got a thank you text later but I felt deflated to be honest as I'd wanted to chat about the present . It just led me to wonder, Is it the done thing not to open presents when they're given to you? (it was either their actual birthday or the day was in the past so it's not like they were saving it to open on the birthday).

OP posts:
ChangeChingyChange · 06/12/2021 15:47

I hate opening presents in front of people it's so cringy. I imagine she feels the same. Doesn't mean she's ungrateful.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/12/2021 15:49

Oh god I dont open gifts in front of people. It makes me feel so under the spotlight.

Inthetropics · 06/12/2021 15:51

In my exprience this is NOT the norm, though some people do it. I also find it a bit strange and not very polite.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 06/12/2021 15:51

Opening presents in front of people is horrible. They are scanning your face for the exact reaction they want, and it makes it more about the giver of the gift than the recipient. Totally normal to open gifts after an event and then thank the person.

Totalwasteofpaper · 06/12/2021 15:51

I don't open presents in front of people because I feel it's it's bit rude and it looks a bit grabby.

If a friend said "go on!!! open it!" though I would

drpet49 · 06/12/2021 15:52

In my experience everyone opens presents in front of the person that bought it for them. I’ve never known it any other way unless it is a big party with many guests.

MrzClaus · 06/12/2021 15:53

"I just wanted to see her face and talk about the present, not just be thanked over text"

OP this is my worst nightmare 😭 I love gifting presents to friends, but never pressure them to open them with me 😬 This makes it sound like more of a present for you than for them!

DickMabutt73962 · 06/12/2021 15:53

HATE opening presents in front of the giver

elQuintoConyo · 06/12/2021 15:53

Jeez we always open presents in front of each other! Not doing so would be weird to us.

VioletVesper · 06/12/2021 15:55

@ABCeasyasdohrayme

Opening presents in front of people is horrible. They are scanning your face for the exact reaction they want, and it makes it more about the giver of the gift than the recipient. Totally normal to open gifts after an event and then thank the person.
I feel this way too OP. I’m not meaning to be rude and it doesn’t mean I’m not excited/grateful for the present.
WonderHen · 06/12/2021 15:55

I hate opening presents in front of people.

Fl0w3ry · 06/12/2021 16:01

I am another one who hates opening presents in front of people. I feel so much pressure to have the “right” reaction that I end up overly gushing over it without actually registering what it is! So unless pressured I generally don’t open gifts in front of the giver.
Why did you want to talk about the present once it was opened?

LuckyAmy1986 · 06/12/2021 16:16

Hate opening gifts in front of people!

girlmom21 · 06/12/2021 16:20

I'm never quite sure whether to open the gift or not but always feel like I need to make an effort to react in the right way and it's crap.

DrManhattan · 06/12/2021 19:43

It comes off like you have just bought it for the reaction and the many thank yous. Cringe

Mooloolabababy · 06/12/2021 19:53

I really hate opening presents in front of people! Christmas with in-laws is the worst as we all have to do it together and I just want it to be over ASAP!

ThinWomansBrain · 06/12/2021 20:01

Before my birthday - probably save it
on or after - definitely open

Lilybo7 · 06/12/2021 21:02

Interesting responses, appreciate hearing both sides of the argument, thank you!
For me; for example specific books that I had chosen that would have been great to discuss with them, a particular photo book I had made up to reminisce about the memories etc. that's all .

OP posts:
FreedomFaith · 06/12/2021 21:09

Why would you want to discuss a book you had bought them that they hadn't read? They would have almost nothing to contribute.

I'm the same as others, hate opening presents in front of the giver.

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