to want my parents to feign interest in the dull minutinae of my life?

[BroccoliSpears]

My parents don't really see the point of phoning "for a chat", but they live overseas so the phone is really the only way of keeping in touch with them. I think they would be happy with a 15 minute chat every fortnight, but I find that I miss them and want to speak to them more often than that. We get on well, I think, and have always been close. It's not a cost thing because both they and we have special deals that make phoning each other dirt cheap. It's not really a time thing either because although they're busy, they're retired.

So, it gets to about a week and I find myself wondering how they are, wanting to tell them about some funny thing dd did, or how our house hunt is going, or ask how my dad's knee is coming along. I catch myself working out if I've got enough reasons to 'justify' a phone call. I phone and they're delighted to hear from me, witter non-stop for 15 minutes about everything they've been up to, who they've been to dinner with, what they bought at the supermarket, anyway, must go! Lovely to hear from you, love to all, byeeee!

Umm... but I wanted to tell you that the dog's going to have puppies, and that dd went to the dentist for the first time and got a sticker, and that I forgot to take a cake to the toddler group raffle...

They haven't asked after my pregnancy for about a month. I suppose they assume I'll tell them if anything's wrong. I just wish they were more interested in me.

I've shuffled around the subject in the past, and they say they they know they don't have to worry about me because I'm doing fine. Which I am, so I don't know what I'm complaining about really.

I suppose I sound a bit moany and morose (who can blame them for not wanting to chat!) but I'm really not - I just want a normal, chatty exchange of news. Go on, tell me to get over it and grow up.

No not being unreasonable

if any consolation i live in the same country as my rellies and they never actually ask about me - i tend to launch in to whatever i want to say anyway!

i think age makes them a bit slow on the uptake sometimes!

Have you tried skype? It's great and perhaps could lead to a more two sided exchange of conversation.. . .

Or you could go on strike and not call them and they'll call you wanting to know what's up but then that's kind of game playing, isn't it?

Or you could send them one line emails about funny things your DD does accompanied by a photo attached?

Lots of folk are cr*p at listening. I'll bet they are interested in you they've just never developed the art of listening.

Just want to second what Winky has said - My parents live abroad and I find that I talk to mum Mum more over skype than I do when I see her in "Real Life". Skype is great as if you both have it it costs nothing to talk and if you get a little camera you can see each other. This is great for my parents who get to see their grandkids everyday if they want.

I do send the odd email and funny photo / cute vid. They don't reply. When I speak to them and ask if they liked the photo they can't stop gushing about how gorgeous dd is and how they've printed out the photo and have it on the mantlepiece...

Oh, I'm fretting about nothing really. Seeing it all written down has made me realise that I'm not going to change them, but they're not so bad really. I think they do care, they're just a bit self involved and crap at communicating.